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Girl I started talking to hasn't responded. Was it the text I sent? Date in 5 days?

fmfan08

By fmfan08
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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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So I started talking to a new girl who's local to me on a dating website and we would both take a few hours to reply back when we ended up being online. Her messages were detailed and we asked questions about each other.

 

I eventually got her number and waited until the next day to text. The next day before I was going to send her a text, she messaged me again on the dating website "Did you text that number cos it's not come through ;)"

 

Anyway we sent a few texts back and forth, in one message she used the word "we" and said "Hahaha if we watched a horror film, I'd definitely be hiding behind you and using you as a human shield :)"

 

I asked if she was free this Friday at 7pm at a location near us, she said "Yeah I think I should be! Yeah (location) is good for me!". So I said okay see you then and talk to you soon and she said "Ok :)".

 

Her replies were 1-5 minutes after mine.

 

That was two days ago. So I reinitiated contact at 7:30pm (Sunday) and I said "Hey! Just thought I'd check up on this little mind reader here.. See if she's been reading my thoughts".

 

(During our first conversation on the dating website, she mentioned how she wants a job in psychology and I joked about her reading minds in which she said "Hahaha they don't teach you to read minds when you do psychology at uni!" so I wanted to throw in some call back humour.)

 

It's nearly 11pm and not had a response. She's been very quick to reply to me but not tonight. Do I leave it a few days and contact her again? Do I assume the date is still going ahead? (It's in 5 days).

 

Was it the text that I sent?

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

Posted
Posted

Don't over analyze things, especially when it comes to OLD. Just move on. You'll be okay, it wasn't meant to be, she did you a favor.

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Mkn1010 Established Member

Mkn1010

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You didn't do anything wrong. That last text was not significant in the outcome, I don't think. It wasn't make or break. These things happen all the time.

Erik30 Established Member

Erik30

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Leave it and wait till she contacts you. She was probably busy and had plans. It's way too soon to assume the date isn't happening, just because she hasn't replied for a couple of hours

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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It's the next day and it's nearly 1pm, still no reply.

 

Just hope I didn't weird her out with that text.

 

I'll send a safe text tomorrow asking about her day but if I get no reply then I won't send a third and I won't be going to the location to meet her.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
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Calm down. Stop trying to measure anything by how long it takes somebody to respond. You have the date. Now hush. There is no need to talk every day. Trying to get to know somebody by text message is a waste of time. Texting is a lousy way to communicate. On Wednesday call her & talk for no more than 10 minutes. On the day of the date text to confirm the time & place. Other than that live your life & stop pestering her.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Didn't get a reply today but I'll send one tomorrow.

 

Is it worth saying to her that the joke I said the other day was awful? Or just completely forget that and start fresh saying "hey :) how's your day going?"

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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A fresh start would be best.

 

 

If the joked bombed, reminding her of it will only hurt you.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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A fresh start would be best.

 

 

If the joked bombed, reminding her of it will only hurt you.

 

Fair point, I was thinking that. Okay fresh start, won't be expecting a reply but I'll also be texting this other girl I'm going out with next Monday. Not spoken to her for 2-3 days.

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Okay so I messaged again at about 1pm and it's 9pm so no reply, no sign of her being online on the dating website either. Hopefully something hasn't happened but you'd have thought if she had lost her phone she'd get onto a laptop and contact me on the site, so we'll go with lack of interest.

 

With this second girl, just wanting to see if my texts were okay..

 

(1pm) Me - So I've had a day of breaking hearts, near death experiences and getting soaked.. Can you top that?

 

(2:30pm) Girl - Hahaha I've just had a standard bad day at work :lmao: ! What's happened?

 

(5:15pm) Me - Just my usual clumsy self.. things going wrong! Could be worse.. You could be forcing me to watch a chick flick ;)

 

I replied after I finished work, but it's 9:30pm and not had a reply, just wanted to know if my latest text was a problem. We spoke about which films we liked before and she said she liked chick flicks. I know I'm overthinking it but there must be a reason girls have stopped talking to me and wanting to see where I'm going wrong.

Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
Posted (edited)
Okay so I messaged again at about 1pm and it's 9pm so no reply, no sign of her being online on the dating website either. Hopefully something hasn't happened but you'd have thought if she had lost her phone she'd get onto a laptop and contact me on the site, so we'll go with lack of interest.

 

With this second girl, just wanting to see if my texts were okay..

 

(1pm) Me - So I've had a day of breaking hearts, near death experiences and getting soaked.. Can you top that?

 

(2:30pm) Girl - Hahaha I've just had a standard bad day at work :lmao: ! What's happened?

 

(5:15pm) Me - Just my usual clumsy self.. things going wrong! Could be worse.. You could be forcing me to watch a chick flick ;)

 

I replied after I finished work, but it's 9:30pm and not had a reply, just wanted to know if my latest text was a problem. We spoke about which films we liked before and she said she liked chick flicks. I know I'm overthinking it but there must be a reason girls have stopped talking to me and wanting to see where I'm going wrong.

 

I'm not a fan of calling yourself "usually clumsy" to someone you haven't even met yet. It just sounds to me, overall, as if you are trying a bit too hard to be cute, funny, and clever, and end up coming across as a "dancing monkey". OR it could be that she is talking to a few other guys at once and just never got around to responding.

 

It's probably not the end of the world with this girl, you can text her in a couple of days.

 

I have suggested this idea before on a few threads: After I get the girl's #, I usually set up a PHONE CALL and then a date soon thereafter. And I generally don't have these problems here. We do text during the week between the phone call and the date, but she responds to my texts and she meets up with me. There is something about hearing someone's voice that makes the other person seem more real.

Edited by Imajerk17
Titanll Established Member

Titanll

Posted
Posted
Okay so I messaged again at about 1pm and it's 9pm so no reply, no sign of her being online on the dating website either. Hopefully something hasn't happened but you'd have thought if she had lost her phone she'd get onto a laptop and contact me on the site, so we'll go with lack of interest.

 

With this second girl, just wanting to see if my texts were okay..

 

(1pm) Me - So I've had a day of breaking hearts, near death experiences and getting soaked.. Can you top that?

 

(2:30pm) Girl - Hahaha I've just had a standard bad day at work :lmao: ! What's happened?

 

(5:15pm) Me - Just my usual clumsy self.. things going wrong! Could be worse.. You could be forcing me to watch a chick flick ;)

 

I replied after I finished work, but it's 9:30pm and not had a reply, just wanted to know if my latest text was a problem. We spoke about which films we liked before and she said she liked chick flicks. I know I'm overthinking it but there must be a reason girls have stopped talking to me and wanting to see where I'm going wrong.

 

The first bolded section is kind of scary. I mean, in your mind there is a possibility that she could have lost her phone and realizing that, she would think to get on a laptop to get in touch with you...scary.

 

The second bolded section is where chick two isn't escalating your exuberance. Then you follow up with self deprecating humor and "things going wrong". I would have been waiting for a great story considering your first text.

 

You can't learn this stuff overnight. I mean, you can certainly meet someone where you match perfectly but good lord, quit trying to figure out if the timing of text messages mean she was abducted by aliens or something. You're headed for a padded room if you keep that up...

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fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

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Posted (edited)
The first bolded section is kind of scary. I mean, in your mind there is a possibility that she could have lost her phone and realizing that, she would think to get on a laptop to get in touch with you...scary.

 

The second bolded section is where chick two isn't escalating your exuberance. Then you follow up with self deprecating humor and "things going wrong". I would have been waiting for a great story considering your first text.

 

You can't learn this stuff overnight. I mean, you can certainly meet someone where you match perfectly but good lord, quit trying to figure out if the timing of text messages mean she was abducted by aliens or something. You're headed for a padded room if you keep that up...

 

I wouldn't say I'm too bothered about timing, she could take half a day.. as long as there were dates.

 

I'm just more focused on the content of my texts. which I feel is letting me down. It never used to, maybe I'm a little off this week or need a break from dating. So do you think that was definitely the killer? I'd have hoped for some sort of reply.

 

I was trying not to reply back with a paragraph of a story to her two lines really.

 

I'll probably go silent until Friday and say to her I hope she enjoys her weekend trip away and looking forward to seeing her on Monday. My texting works better if the girl "roleplays" in it and continues the conversations. It's weird because when we spoke over online dating, she'd send paragraphs and flirt that she was my sidekick etc and roleplay that, but over text I've had a different response.

Edited by fmfan08
CoolJoe Established Member

CoolJoe

Posted
Posted

Stop overthinking this stuff. Agreed with the poster who said she would be expecting a good story instead you came back with self deprecating humor which is just not the right timing. Reeks of you trying too hard. Chill

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