I really need some input here.

[Jaime03]

Ok so I have been broken up with my ex about 9 months now and the whole time he has known he had me still...I would write him letter and stuff like that. I dont ever see him we do not have mutual friends and he doesnt go out too much. Last week he called which was odd because he is very stubborn. He was calling to thank me for something I mailed him. Trust me he wanted to call. I have sent him stuff in the past and he didnt call so it was nothing new...but he called me at work which was odd and ofcouse it got me thinking again. He told me he would be at his parents house tonight cleaning the pool for them because they are out of town. I was like well i will stop by I havent seen him in a while. He was like "I dont know if thats a good idea" and i was like yes it is. I was like I dont know the code to get in the gates though. He was like yes you do its the same it was I was like oh ok. I could tell he wanted me to stop by. He has always been that way. He is sooo stubborn. I always hated that. I started thinking this weekend and I was like I am tired of catering to him and being there everytime he call...I was always there for him. I didnt show up tonight and I know he was thinking I would. I dont know if I will hear from him or what but I feel good but I feel bad. I know I shouldnt feel bad because he has hurt me so much for so long. Did I do the right thing? Do you think he is shocked I didnt show? I would love for him to know that he doesnt have the upper hand anymore. He just always had a way of making me feel guilty. Everything was always my fault. How do you think he will act when he sees he cant have me anymore...he started "talking" to some girl a few months back but I dont think it was anything I mean he cheated on her with me and would never admitt to me that they were together just that they were "talking" I know it is just someone to have around...but obviously he still has feelings for me or misses me....I mean I was the first girl who really came into his like the way i did. He changed his whole life around and I know he wont admitt it but I had a lot to do with it. Any thoughts?? Thanks

[A Fly onThe Wall]

The power is good... don't lose it though..

[DrunkenMonk]

Right now I am in a situation much like yours. I am completely there for a person that is reluctant to be there for me back. My situation it was my fault thought. I think you need to explain the reasoning behind him leaving you in the first place. Was it your fault? Did you mess up? Or did he just get sick of you. If you honestly have no fault in the ending of the relationship other than perhaps personality conflict, i think you should definately stop making yourself so available to him. In a relationship there needs to be mutual respect and desire and I think that overcompensating for his lack of desire, even if its just because he hides it, isnt fair. He either needs to learn to show his affection towards you or not have you I know its a pain in the ass though... belive me I know. Read my post

[ButtonPusher]

From what I gather, he dumped you, yes? Well for a start why have you been writing him letters???? From what you wrote I'm surprised he hasnt called the cops on you. You said you send him letters and he usually doesnt reply. What do you expect? Your no longer together!

 

Last week he called which was odd because he is very stubborn. He was calling to thank me for something I mailed him. Trust me he wanted to call. I have sent him stuff in the past and he didnt call so it was nothing new...but he called me at work which was odd and ofcouse it got me thinking again.

 

I dont know what you sent, but perhaps he really did call just to say thank you!

 

He said it wasnt a good idea for you to go see him, but you kept pushing it, and you make all these assumptions about him, as though you know his mind better than he does.He doesnt have the problem, you do. Let him go before you really piss him off.