My Weird Breakup Story

May 14, 2017

Extremely sorry for this long post, I just had to vent

I'm 23 and she is 22. We went out for 4 years (since the first year of College). We're both from Toronto, Canada.

We had a mutual break up in September (I had just begun an internship in Seattle at the time). The break up was extremely amicable - we had been having some toxic fights and there were also cultural differences so we decided to end it(she is Christian and I'm a Hindu, her parents were extremely strict and didn't know we were going out).We promised to stay each other's best friends and that we'd always support each other.

About a week after the break up, I noticed that she was flirting with another guy on Facebook (her account was still logged in on my phone). Instead of feeling angry, I just felt extremely sad and disappointed, that it was so easy for her to start talking to someone else - I still tried my best to remain her friend though.

Side Note: She cheated on me in the summer of 2014 by kissing another guy, but I took her back and she said she regretted her actions and I believed her. I don't believe anything physical was happening between her and the Facebook guy.

As the days went by, I started making more and more friends in Seattle and they would invite me out to explore the city and have fun. So I slowly started to enjoy myself and grew a little distant from my ex. I'd spend the weekends either sightseeing and hiking or partying it up with the other interns (there was weed and alcohol involved). Every time I was with the other people, I would forget the pain of the break up and be enjoying myself. Whenever I'd be alone in my room, I felt absolutely horrible. Throughout this time, I would still talk to my ex, but not as much.

Then, in November she sent me a message saying how hard it was for her to move on, that she missed having me around and talking to me, and that she could only remember the good times of our relationship - implying that she wanted to get back together. At this point, I said no (the toxic fights still being fresh in my head and her flirting with another guy right away were both primary factors) and reminded her of the reasons we broke up. I told her that I'd always be her friend (I still cared about her a lot) but she had caused me too much pain and I was not mentally ready at the time.

Anyways, as November and December went by, she'd constantly hound me for prioritizing my new Seattle friends over her and say that I was being a "horrible friend" to her. She said that I was ignoring her and never initiating conversations with her. I tried explaining to her that it was my first time in Seattle and I was trying to make the most of it.

I was back in Canada by Christmas and our final semester of college started in January. At this point we were still friends with each other. During the first 3 weeks of the semester, she would still get angry when I didn't message her enough. She even drunk texted me and tried to come over, but I lied and said I was out with friends.

Things started becoming slightly more normal in February, she'd initiate texts in a friendly manner (I'd do the same), and whenever we saw each other on campus it would be a positive interaction. There was one weird moment near the end of February, where she asked me to have dinner with her. Then randomly during the middle of dinner, she asked if I was happy - I said that I was working towards it, but not yet. When I reciprocated the question to her, she quickly said that she was and that she was making new friends.

Anyways, near the end of March, I started missing her a lot more than I realized. (there were random days where we had intimate moments-

like holding hands or lots of hugging). At the end of March, I asked her to meet with me and told her how much I missed her, and asked her if she'd like to get back together. She then told me that she'd been dating a guy from her church (not the same guy she flirted with) since the end of February - basically around the same time we had that dinner.

When I heard she was dating someone, I became pretty pathetic lol (kinda regret it), I started tearing up and asked her to leave him and come back to me. She hesitated at first, but then started making excuses about religion and how we aren't compatible with each other, etc. She told me she really cares about the other guy and wanted to make it work with him. I respected her wishes and walked away and kept NC for about 3 weeks.

The first 3 weeks of April were absolute HELL, I had to study for final exams while dealing with heartbreak, while she was super happy in the arms of the new guy. On the day before my final exam, and also my final day of college I saw her in the library sitting alone, waiting for her friend. I quickly went up to her and asked her if she had a few minutes to chat. (big mistake)

We then talked for about 30 minutes. Basically ,she told me how happy she was in the new relationship and how her and the new guy "argue differently". I told her all the pain I was experiencing during the 3 weeks of NC and that I missed our 4 year friend a lot. I only realize now, how pathetic this conversation made me look in front of her. Anyways, the conversation ended with me saying that I'd always be there for her and she responded by saying that I could message her anytime.

Now, the very next day - the last day of my college career (April 24th), she sent me a HUGE text saying we shouldn't talk to each other anymore and we both need to completely move on. The text was really cold and it basically said that even though we had a good "thing" (referring to our 4 year relationship lol) there was no point in maintaining a friendship. I am 100% sure the new guy made her write this.

When I received the text message, I was heartbroken. I always thought there was a chance we would reconcile and I never excepted her to move on so fast. I didn't reply to the text message at all and immediately went NC once again.

Then all of a sudden, I received a message from her yesterday (after an additional 3 weeks of NC):

Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet

Did I handle the conversation well? I didn't want to seem rude but I feel like she was just trying to clear her guilty conscience.

Edited May 14, 2017 by blazerix

May 19, 2017

Extremely sorry for this long post, I just had to vent

I'm 23 and she is 22. We went out for 4 years (since the first year of College). We're both from Toronto, Canada.

We had a mutual break up in September (I had just begun an internship in Seattle at the time). The break up was extremely amicable - we had been having some toxic fights and there were also cultural differences so we decided to end it(she is Christian and I'm a Hindu, her parents were extremely strict and didn't know we were going out).We promised to stay each other's best friends and that we'd always support each other.

About a week after the break up, I noticed that she was flirting with another guy on Facebook (her account was still logged in on my phone). Instead of feeling angry, I just felt extremely sad and disappointed, that it was so easy for her to start talking to someone else - I still tried my best to remain her friend though.

Side Note: She cheated on me in the summer of 2014 by kissing another guy, but I took her back and she said she regretted her actions and I believed her. I don't believe anything physical was happening between her and the Facebook guy.