It never ends well just never

[berry1]

I'm sorry if this is a rant or the wrong place for this but i need to vent somewhere We dated for 4 months

 

Some of you may remember my post from a few months back saying how i fell in love with a girl i was dating.

 

Well today that all ended. She ghosted me for 3 days then gave me a call today saying that gone like follows.

 

Hey, im awfully sorry but i just don't like you that way. You are a lovely guy and i have tried. Im so sorry i feel more in a friendship.

 

My response was its okay, don't worry.

 

Phone gone down and tears just started trickling.

 

This is the first time i have cried in 3 years. I don't cry but god this one hurts so much.

 

All i keep running over and over in my head is that i will never see her again, the soft touch of her lips when we kissed (uh tears again!) and that i have not even any pictures of our happy moments to remember her by.

 

Know matter what she says she definitely felt it at first. She was so affectionate and happy then it all changed a few weeks after i met her parents. Why would you introduce a guy to your parents if you didn't like them? i guess her parents just didn't like me.

 

All i keep thinking of is why bother? dating just isn't worth it. Never ends well and this is the very reason i stayed single for 2 years. I let my guard down for this lady but its just not worth it. A few months of happiness for months of unhappiness no thanks.

 

Does anyone else just not bother anymore?

Edited May 13, 2017 by berry1

[preraph]

Some people just are so interactive with their family that they let them meet everyone, while others reserve meeting them for when they are getting serious. It may be she is just still young? and not anywhere near ready to have a serious relationship, but only you would know if that is the case.

 

Anyway, I'm sorry. Four months is long enough to get invested and have your hopes up that it's going somewhere. So sorry. You got her interested and you will get another woman interested as well, and one of these days, you'll find the right one, so don't give up.

[CoolJoe]

I'm sorry if this is a rant or the wrong place for this but i need to vent somewhere We dated for 4 months

 

Some of you may remember my post from a few months back saying how i fell in love with a girl i was dating.

 

Well today that all ended. She ghosted me for 3 days then gave me a call today saying that gone like follows.

 

Hey, im awfully sorry but i just don't like you that way. You are a lovely guy and i have tried. Im so sorry i feel more in a friendship.

 

My response was its okay, don't worry.

 

Phone gone down and tears just started trickling.

 

This is the first time i have cried in 3 years. I don't cry but god this one hurts so much.

 

All i keep running over and over in my head is that i will never see her again, the soft touch of her lips when we kissed (uh tears again!) and that i have not even any pictures of our happy moments to remember her by.

 

Know matter what she says she definitely felt it at first. She was so affectionate and happy then it all changed a few weeks after i met her parents. Why would you introduce a guy to your parents if you didn't like them? i guess her parents just didn't like me.

 

All i keep thinking of is why bother? dating just isn't worth it. Never ends well and this is the very reason i stayed single for 2 years. I let my guard down for this lady but its just not worth it. A few months of happiness for months of unhappiness no thanks.

 

Does anyone else just not bother anymore?

 

 

Sorry. I know it hurts. I've been there.

 

Some people come into our lives for a snapshot and are gone the next day. Others are like roots, there for us until the end of time.

 

She came into your life for a short season, gave you some good times and now you need to grieve but also reap the rewards. Meaning, what can you learn from this and how can you improve yourself going forward? It could be anything. From picking up a new hobby that enriches your life to working out more to joining a church or meet up group.

 

One thing I've learned from my travels is everything happens for a reason, mate. And when the chips are down, your real loved ones show up. If someone doesn't care enough to be there for you then you DON'T want them in your life. You're better than that.

 

Love yourself, bro. I sincerely wish you the best. It may not seem like it now but trust me it gets better with each day. It may take months but you'll be fine. You really will be. Cheers.

[theMirror]

It seems like OP's girl and my guy is the same person. I also dated this guy for 2 months and he started being distant more and more. Until recently he dropped the break-up message that he only liked me as friend.

 

It hurts a lot as I fell hard for this guy because initially, he showed all affections and attentions of all kind, even introduced me to his family and friends.

 

Well, there're definitely red flags from him that my friends warned me, but I was too stubborn and thought if I tried, I could make it work such as: rushing things too quick, just got out of long term relationship (therefore, not ready for relationship), still has lingering feelings for his ex (although he's certain that they could no way come back together) and still contact his ex sometimes. I strongly believe that LTR couple who just broke up should NOT contact each other because it prevents both sides from moving on. Plus, it's just a disrespect for the current one you're with.

 

The fact that he's currently looking for a job only adds more chaos in his thought process. I don't know about guys in general but for me, as a career-oriented person, I'd be in no right mind to think of relationship if I'm unemployed.

 

Thus, I guess, we were not meant for each other. I was devastated but I learn to accept it as a lesson. Anyhow, I feel a little better now when I throw myself at the gym.

As people often say, time will heal. Let's hope so.

Edited May 14, 2017 by theMirror

[mortensorchid]

*hugs* I hope you feel better.

[OatsAndHall]

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time, berry... Four months can seem like a life time when you're in love with someone and it's brutal when it comes crashing down around your head...

 

I will give you some serious kudos for handling things as maturely as you did, my friend. You walked away from it with your chin up and dignity intact which is more than I have seen from many people. It would have been easy to lash out or beg/plead but you did neither. You respected her through to the end which is something that she is going to find is rare in the dating world. And, that is also a quality that a lucky woman will see in you some day.

[berry1]

I would just like to thank everyone for the support, it really has ment so much.

 

We actually carried on texting later that evening and the truth came out.

 

She had feelings for me but they never grown because she felt like she couldn't trust me and that i was not being 100% honest.

 

You know the worst bit about it all is that i can not even say she is wrong. I lied to her

 

But it was not a lie for personal gain or a lie for any devious reason. People will say there is never a good reason for lying but honestly in this case i absolutely had no other option. She would never have understood and she never will be able to understand and the only way to protect her from the harsh realities of life was to not tell the truth about it. She lived in a bubble and she openly admitted it.

 

OatsAndHall Thank you for thinking that i am more of a man than i am but i have to admit i did swallow all my dignity. I told her that i would be 100% honest and i begged her to take me back. I pleaded with her to give me a few weeks trial period to see if she felt different after me being honest about it. This is something i have never in my life asked from a woman. I even asked her if she would just be friends. She never replied.

 

Deep down i do know though that i did not deserve her. She is a beautiful, intelligent and genuinely nice girl she deserves a nice guy. Sure i treated her like a angel for every day that she was with me but that doesn't change that she deserves the best.

 

I put her as the number 1 thing in my life and i think thats why it hurts so much. I don't want to see people or go out i just want to stay in this hotel room. It honestly feels good just lying here in bed smoking and thinking of all the memories and moments we spent together. Its pathetic but i don't care.

 

I keep telling myself that although i know i don't deserve her their must be a way. Just to spend a little more time as her boyfriend. Some set of words that when put together in the right order would show her how much my love stretched and give me a chance. But in reality I'm not delusional and i know its just a desperate fantasy.