frogette Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 I want to try to keep this short as possible since I have work soon.. but for the past month I've been stressed with finals, my ill step father, and my mother's suicide attempt. So I've become depressed where I sometimes break down crying and have become a little more quiet than usual When I broke down for the first time in front of my boyfriend, he insisted I talk to his good friend about it. I said just give me some time. Hs stared at me, got angry, and said I'm not helping myself and his friend could help me. He knew what I was going through and it was 2 hours of me crying and trying to explain my crying and him being disappointed in me. Later that day I cried again and he yelled. I had 2 more breakdowns the next 2 weeks and he would get angry at them. The last time I broke down in tears to him, last week, we were walking through town and he yelled and cursed at the top of his lungs, punched and hit himself and objects, and said "what is it so hard for you to just be happy?" and he screamed about how he wants to go see our friends and "I'm tired of this ****ing sadness" He admitted he only likes to be around happy people... I'm there for him when he's down and I try to be supportive for his problems (he has some drama with his friends and he quit his job because of a bad boss) ...I don't understand his violence and anger and I feel like I can't even cry or feel sad around him. He gets annoyed if I don't feel good to be around his friends so I always have to force myself... Can someone please help me, I'm not in the best state of mind and haven't opened up about this to anyone before
BaileyB Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 (edited) I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like a good guy. You are obviously having a difficult time right now and his behavior is not helping. You should expect that your partner will make an effort to listen, offer support, and comfort. His angry outbursts indicate a lack of empathy, difficulty managing frustration and dealing with anger, and to be completely honest, his behavior is emotionally abusive. You can't understand his anger because it's irrational and unacceptable. You should never have to use the word violence when describing your boyfriends behavior... BIG red flag! I'm so sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear this will all you are dealing with right now... But, this guy has shown you who he is and I think you really should consider whether you want to stay with him. I would suggest that you get some counselling. And, I would suggest some time away from this guy to focus on self-care - do the things you need to do to take care of yourself. Best wishes. I hope things get better for you soon. Edited May 13, 2017 by BaileyB
Whodatdog Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 You need to go NC with him right this minute. This is NOT a good guy, by any stretch. He's all about himself. Get rid of him.
preraph Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 I will give him credit for one thing good, which is he tried to "fix" you by having you go see his friend (who I hope is a counselor?) Men fix things and get aggravated when they are powerless -- BUT his reaction if over the top and violent, and it's inconsiderate and unempathetic, so I have to say this isn't a guy who can weather a long-term relationship. He's too volatile. He's should go see his friend.... When I'm under stress from every direction like you are now, I simplify and cut out any complications I can, and in this case, he would be it. 2
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