krisrizzo Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 So I have been talking to this girl for about a year We met online hooked up all that After that we didnt talk for a few months then started talking again Around September of 2016 We actually have great conversations and have a lot of things in common I have a absolutely huge crush on her. She's a big family person, sweet, charming al that good stuff When we started talking again last year I told her " we should meet up again" she said "I think you just like hooking up with me" I asked if she wasnt into that and she said "not really. i know thats what we did but i realy shouldnt be doing that. i have respect for myself" I then said "so you want a relationship with someone?" she said "not that either. lol Im ****ed up in the head i guess not knowing lol" Eventually she said she was really just too busy for anything like that She works 2 jobs, goes to school for a degree in public health(something like that) ANyway we have continued talking and like i said that conversations are great. Its not a "friend zone " thing at all. She will send me sexy pics (yes i know other guys could be getting them also) and I will flirt with her and stuff like that A few times I have said something along the lines of "it should be obvious im interested" and she will say something like "hmm it really doesnt feel like it though" so then i ramp it up to show i am by just flirting or whatever Anywayyyyyy I have no idea what to do. Should I just take it slow and not push it? Like I said for the moment shes busy working and going to school but shes done with school in may of 2018 so any ideas? suggestions?
smackie9 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 Sounds like you are just a distraction for her and nothing more. It's been a year...if nothing solid has formed yet, then nothing ever will. Learn to move on and not waste your time on such empty things.
act00 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 She either wants a relationship or she doesn't. She wants a hookup or she doesn't. I find her rejection of everything very off-putting. She accused you of a hookup. I don't think either of you considered it a hookup at the time. It's a double standard because she hooked up too. She's embarrassed and ashamed a little, but she shouldn't be and there's a bit of self-preservation there. You want more, and you ask her point blank if she wants a relationship, and she waffles over that question. She doesn't know what she wants, and you're really suffering the consequences of that. She runs hot and cold...she wants a relationship, participates in intimacy, then she doesn't want the relationship and accuses you of a hookup, and the accusation of the hookup suggests she wants a relationship but with that is the accusation that you don't, and you're hooking up. She's plopping her insecurities on you as a fault - your fault. Not her fault, your fault. I'm confused. I'm not personally invested in her, so I say drop the rope. Go friendzone or no contact...no contact, sever ties. Friendzone won't work. No more intimacy. She needs to figure out what she wants and you do not need to be her experiment. It's too painful.
Author krisrizzo Posted May 13, 2017 Author Posted May 13, 2017 When she came over i was awful. I hardly talked was beyond nervous. She even mentioned it a few months later when she said " you were so quiet i feel like if we went out you'd hardly talk"
Miss Spider Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 I see a game playing from both of yiuZ You keep being ambiguous about what you want with her and expect her to put all her cards on the table. She said she thinks you just want to hook up with her and she doesn't want that, then you asked her if she wants a relationship with SOMEONE. Not you. If said she's not sure because she doesn't know what you want and is not going to make herself vulnerable in that case. Then you continue to be ambiguous by saying "it's obvious I'm interested" and of course she doubts that. If you want a relationship with her you need to tell her " I'm really into you and would like to be exclusive. What do you think?"
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