mra234 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 well i'm defiantly an Idiot .i can admit it . dated a woman for 4 yrs. now . all went well for a while as all relationships do .we did things had fun . after a little over 4 yrs we had small disagreements .mostly over time .she likes to get together with her girl-friend a-lot and do the girl-friend things ,the girl-friend is married so i know their not out looking for guys. they'd meet up after work ,and on weekends .the girl lives maybe 25 min from us .we don't live together just in walking distance from each other. i would just say '' hey after you shop or visit with your friend regardless of the time you want to stop by '', or '' hey next weekend want to go to dinner,see a movie or something ''always got a '' sounds good ,we'll see ,or something .at times i even got a '' yes'' and we made tentative plans for a certain day / time . the day would come i'd be looking forward to it ,the time would pass i'd give a call to see if we were still on .i wouldn't get an answer , or a call back .just basically blown - off .hear from her the next day she always had an excuse '' my friend drove i couldn't leave,something came up ,my phones acting up etc .BUT nothing is ever made up . After 4 yrs i find out she's seeing this guy from where she works ,still seeing her girl-friend when she can BUT going to this guys place afterwards. i ask her about this guy i got excuses [ lies] oh he's a friend,he's someone i can talk to etc. AT first when i'd ask what she's been doing lately she said ''oh my niece moved to town i'm helping her get settled ''. i knew where the guy lived and since i wasn't doing anything at nights i changed my work schedule to nights.driving home late 1 am i'd see her car at the new guys place .i confront her about it got excuses '' i'm not cheating on you, my lifes so crazy with work the house when would i have time to see someone else... Finally one night after like 6 months she stops by and we hang out i ask about the guy she tells me she ''thought'' we were done .because we discussed / argued over time .basically cheating on me .we never talked we were making those tentative plans but nothing coming of those .she doesn't see the guy anymore . i was up-set / hurt sure .had very minimal contact with her ,talked to my friends they all said [ what i would say ] screw her .UNFORTUNATELY for me if we'd see each other outside she'd say hi i'd say hi ,she'd start talking , i'd talk .in MY mind i'm thinking k she lied and cheated BUT their done perhaps she saw she wants me .we hang out for a few time to time [ no intimacy no real dates ] usually just at my place watching t.v.or netflix .barely talk i'm thinking give her time maybe she's embarrassed of what she did .she's still seeing the girl-friend a-lot AND now her husband is in the picture [ not in a sexual relationship way] just giving her advice etc. the lies still happen JUST this past WENDSDAY she stopped by for about a 1/2 hr said for mothers day she'll be visiting her mom for the weekend ,i say cool have fun offer to go with her i know her mom she says no she wants to be with her mom i tell her have a good time .THURS night we talk by phone i hear her girl-friend and husband in the back ground i ask her so your leaving for your moms on FRI ? she says yea ,i say sure you don't want me to come it's a 5 hr drive ? she says no but thanks for offering .i say going by yourself ? YES k talk to you soon . HER girl-friend and her husband obviously went with her for a fact .i get lied to for the stupidest of things and it's constantly it appears . didn't want to ruin the weekend so she called to let me know she made it to her moms o.k.,she thinks everythings getting better with us . when she gets back i'm just gonna tell her the lies and her are dead to me . whenever i caught her in a lie i bring it to her attention .like if she wouldn't want to come ove and hang out saying she had a rough day at work ,only to find out she's hanging with her girl-friend and husband only to hear excuses [ lies] well she called and wanted my help with something .i even said pretty weird a married guy see's you more than i do and suppose ably we're working on things .i even offered to go with her to counseling find out what our issues are why i'm being lied to even got cheated on BUT she wont go . so i am an IDIOT for attempting to try with a cheater .and lier hoping their ways would change .leopards defiantly can't change their spots i larned 1
AT15 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 You will never know peace dating a liar and a cheater. They are so not deserving of real love.
Superchicken Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 OK, when I first saw the post "I'm an Idiot", I thought, when the hell did I post that thread.. But then, I read you posted it.. So, dude, all mean are idiots. Its just some hide it better. In your situation, I don't think you were an idiot, because you knew exactly what was going on. You were wishing on pixie dust that you just got it all wrong. But Dude, you were smack on, and you know all the facts. Your moves to dump, cease, and burn all contact with her is the best result. Please, when she calls you in the future, because she will (Good guys always get called back after women hit a snag), make sure you don't get re involved. Because if you think this is fraking you mind up, wait till you get into a serious relationship with her, and you start to get those red flags again. No no no.. I believe Chrysler made and named a car after her. The "Dodge" "Viper". So, please Dodge her, as she is a Viper. Cause she aint running on all 10 cylinders.. Would surprise me she also has "4 on the floor". Help yourself, and move on with your life. Ted. 1
preraph Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 People who won't give up one relationship before they start another are just selfish liars who don't care about anyone else's feelings. Sorry you went through that. We're not all that way, I promise. 1
johngalt1149 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 Wasting your time. She can't even keep track of her own lies. Run....Next! 1
preraph Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 P.S. I'm an idiot too. If we live long enough, we're all idiots who make a lot of missteps. But that's life. You have to learn to enjoy the journey instead of the destination.
Maldives Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 (edited) well i'm defiantly an Idiot .i can admit it . dated a woman for 4 yrs. now . all went well for a while as all relationships do .we did things had fun . after a little over 4 yrs we had small disagreements .mostly over time .she likes to get together with her girl-friend a-lot and do the girl-friend things ,the girl-friend is married so i know their not out looking for guys. they'd meet up after work ,and on weekends .the girl lives maybe 25 min from us .we don't live together just in walking distance from each other. i would just say '' hey after you shop or visit with your friend regardless of the time you want to stop by '', or '' hey next weekend want to go to dinner,see a movie or something ''always got a '' sounds good ,we'll see ,or something .at times i even got a '' yes'' and we made tentative plans for a certain day / time . the day would come i'd be looking forward to it ,the time would pass i'd give a call to see if we were still on .i wouldn't get an answer , or a call back .just basically blown - off .hear from her the next day she always had an excuse '' my friend drove i couldn't leave,something came up ,my phones acting up etc .BUT nothing is ever made up . After 4 yrs i find out she's seeing this guy from where she works ,still seeing her girl-friend when she can BUT going to this guys place afterwards. i ask her about this guy i got excuses [ lies] oh he's a friend,he's someone i can talk to etc. AT first when i'd ask what she's been doing lately she said ''oh my niece moved to town i'm helping her get settled ''. i knew where the guy lived and since i wasn't doing anything at nights i changed my work schedule to nights.driving home late 1 am i'd see her car at the new guys place .i confront her about it got excuses '' i'm not cheating on you, my lifes so crazy with work the house when would i have time to see someone else... Finally one night after like 6 months she stops by and we hang out i ask about the guy she tells me she ''thought'' we were done .because we discussed / argued over time .basically cheating on me .we never talked we were making those tentative plans but nothing coming of those .she doesn't see the guy anymore . i was up-set / hurt sure .had very minimal contact with her ,talked to my friends they all said [ what i would say ] screw her .UNFORTUNATELY for me if we'd see each other outside she'd say hi i'd say hi ,she'd start talking , i'd talk .in MY mind i'm thinking k she lied and cheated BUT their done perhaps she saw she wants me .we hang out for a few time to time [ no intimacy no real dates ] usually just at my place watching t.v.or netflix .barely talk i'm thinking give her time maybe she's embarrassed of what she did .she's still seeing the girl-friend a-lot AND now her husband is in the picture [ not in a sexual relationship way] just giving her advice etc. the lies still happen JUST this past WENDSDAY she stopped by for about a 1/2 hr said for mothers day she'll be visiting her mom for the weekend ,i say cool have fun offer to go with her i know her mom she says no she wants to be with her mom i tell her have a good time .THURS night we talk by phone i hear her girl-friend and husband in the back ground i ask her so your leaving for your moms on FRI ? she says yea ,i say sure you don't want me to come it's a 5 hr drive ? she says no but thanks for offering .i say going by yourself ? YES k talk to you soon . HER girl-friend and her husband obviously went with her for a fact .i get lied to for the stupidest of things and it's constantly it appears . didn't want to ruin the weekend so she called to let me know she made it to her moms o.k.,she thinks everythings getting better with us . when she gets back i'm just gonna tell her the lies and her are dead to me . whenever i caught her in a lie i bring it to her attention .like if she wouldn't want to come ove and hang out saying she had a rough day at work ,only to find out she's hanging with her girl-friend and husband only to hear excuses [ lies] well she called and wanted my help with something .i even said pretty weird a married guy see's you more than i do and suppose ably we're working on things .i even offered to go with her to counseling find out what our issues are why i'm being lied to even got cheated on BUT she wont go . so i am an IDIOT for attempting to try with a cheater .and lier hoping their ways would change .leopards defiantly can't change their spots i larned Dude please tell me ur done wth her? U dumped her right? I hope.. It appears ur hoping she changes but she's not. Ur banging ur head on a brick wall wth this one. Move on dude and open the possibility to find someone who will be more invested in u. Lying and cheating are basically probably the 2 worst, deal breakers definatly move on from this one and quickly. Edited May 13, 2017 by Goodguy05
Author mra234 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Posted May 14, 2017 I hear all you are saying .it's what i would tell someone .i was just self blinded to take my own advice .when you're lied to and cheated on in a relationship their is no turning back .a leopard doesn't change it's spots comes to mind . I tried to be the '' nice guy '' for a bit , it got me no where .i'd rather try nothing and get no where . Obviously she dumped me .[ truth hurts ] but it's the truth .when she comes back on Tuesday we have a couple of small things to take care of . once their done .i'm changing my phone number right in front of her and say see ya .no more needs to be said .she's already blocked from e-mailing ,we don't face book or twitter .have no mutual friends really . only thing is we live in a small town walking distance from each others place AND where i go for work is around the corner from her house .she knows the people i work with .i've already told them if ever i am asked for just say unavailable .short and sweet IF questions get asked just ask her to leave . it's kind of lame adults have to act in this manner BUT i guess it's the only way .
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