SpikeSpigel Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 That's what I've been wondering. A quick rundown, I met this girl while working out of town but still only 40min from where I live. We started dating and in hindsight things got physical too quickly if you can believe that. Close to a month later I decided to cut it off cause I didn't like her as a person, I say hoping not to sound rude. A few weeks after that she hit me up with the news that I'll always remember exactly where I was and what I was doing, "I'm pregnant" she says "and your most likely the father". I had every intention to do the responsible thing but wasn't sure what that was because I did not want to be with her but is having a child together good enough reason to make it work between us? I just didn't know. I soon came to find out that her circumstances weren't the best and she was struggling to the point of eviction so I decided to convince her to stay with me, as we both didn't really want that at the time cause we weren't getting along very well, but I did it cause she talked about having nowhere else to go and no friends or family that could help her and her daughter, yep she has 1 other child. We agreed to make it a non-relationship arrangement and I had the room. She immediately disregarded that aggreement and wanted a relationship so I went with it. Fast forwarding to the present after many ups and downs, mostly downs, we're still in a relationship almost a year later and my son is adorable. She has improved some and I believe I have improved in her eyes as well. She seems happy and in love but I am not at all. I don't get to see my family as much, some cause of the busy new born life and some cause of her needing my attention as much as she does. I actually feel lonely despite being with her. I feel stressed and unhappy. I don't love her as much as she loves me. I feel like separating now would be too difficult for her but I don't know if anytime would be better. I would like to be my son's primary residence but I'm sure she wouldn't want that if we separated. I feel like the worst person i know, coming into this woman's life and changing it drastically and then not being able to make it work. I'm on this forum wondering if there are others that went through a similar situition and if they can offer any advice.
SerenaAnna Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 Sounds like a tough situation to be in. Your priority is your son, and I think if you end the relationship with your girlfriend now, it will be easier on your son than doing it later. It sounds like you tried to make it work with this woman, but if you don't love her, you need to tell her asap and not have her continue to believe something that's not true. Sure it will be difficult on everyone, but you'll adjust. The most important thing is to make sure your son is taken care of and you both still need to work together to make sure that happens. You can still do that without being in a relationship with each other. Good luck!
lolablue17 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 Divorce is a hard painful sad process for everyone. The facts that you didn't really want her from the beginning, is just a minor detail in the big picture, and it doesn't change anything. Lucky you, you didn't get married so you can spare yourself a lot of the official mess that comes with divorce. You need to make a child support agreement, and stay friends with her. If you come clean, and say the truth, she will understand that it's better to splint. No one can blame you that you didn't try. Good luck.
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