sarah999 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 (edited) I planned a vacation with my parents, so I bought 3 tickets for us three. I also booked a hotel room for an entire week, which runs to $1000 total (When I travel with my parents, I always share a hotel room with them, they take one bed and I take the other bed). Well then later, my BF decided he wanted to join too and me and my parents said it's fine. He bought his own plane ticket and I gave him my trip itinerary and a list of the hotels I already booked. It's been two weeks and he hasn't booked his hotel yet, and yesterday he said that we need to book a second hotel room for just me and him, and "we could split the costs." If I were to book a 2nd hotel room and split costs, I'd need to shell out an extra $500 just because my BF is coming along; otherwise, as originally planned, I'd stay in the same hotel room as my parents for only $1000. He said it is weird for him to sleep alone at night. Then he said it's fine, he can pay for the hotel rooms but I get a feeling he's saying so reluctantly. How should I deal with this? What's the best way to split costs? Should he be paying 100% for his own room? I want to be fair to him but I also don't want to be shelling out an extra $500 if I don't have to. But I wonder if he'll be upset if he pays $1k for his own room. Edited May 12, 2017 by sarah999
basil67 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I think you're placing far too much significance on cost here. In your situation, I'd gladly pay an extra $500 so that my partner could come with us and I could share a room with him. You and he split the cost of your shared room and your parents pay for their room. I hope that your relationship with him is worth more to you than $500 1
healing light Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 Personally, I think he needs to put on his big boy pants and pay for the room. He invited himself along, not the other way around, and your accommodations were already set. So unless your parents are fine with reimbursing you for what would have been your portion of their room--and then you split the cost of a separate room with him--I think he needs to pay. 9
lolablue17 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 (edited) Let's say you live at your parents house with no cost, and your bf suggests that you will rent an apartment together for 1000$ per month. Can you claim that since you have the option to live with your parents, than he should pay the whole rent 1000$ per month? Of course not. You present it as your bf's decision to come is his decision solely. No! It's you and him together prefer to spend a room for the two of you. You and him gain the same benefit from that. You will enjoy the private room just like he will. The fact that you have an option to sleep with your parents, doesn't mean anything. So what? He can say that he has an option to travel to a cheaper hotel that costs only 400$ instead of an expensive hotel like the one you booked. So he's paying extra big money just to spend time with you, although he has other options. All this while assuming you really want him to come. Because if you don't really care if he's coming or not, it's a different bigger problem that worth a different thread. In the end he did what every man who loves his gf would do. Although he thinks reasonably that you should share the cost, He preferred to give up on this. He cares about the relationship, so he prefer to absorb some loss for preventing future fights and bad blood. Edited May 12, 2017 by lolablue17 2
PegNosePete Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 You seem to be asking what's fair but not thinking about what YOU want? Do you want to share a room with your parents or share a room with your BF? If you want to share with your parents, then it's up to your BF to pay for his own single room. If you want to share with your BF then get a double room and split it 50/50. 1
lolablue17 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 If you want to share with your parents, then it's up to your BF to pay for his own single room. Would you want to be in a relationship in which your gf chooses to sleep with her parent and not with you? ;) 1
PegNosePete Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 Would you want to be in a relationship in which your gf chooses to sleep with her parent and not with you? ;) Well, that is another matter entirely............... yes there may be consequences other than cost to the OP's choice here! 1
Tribble Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 Let's say you live at your parents house with no cost, and your bf suggests that you will rent an apartment together for 1000$ per month. Can you claim that since you have the option to live with your parents, than he should pay the whole rent 1000$ per month? Of course not. This is a very valid argument. BUT, I read the OP that she's paid for the accommodation for her and her parents at $1000. Therefore, she'd be paying that $1000 for them, plus the $500 to share with her bf, hence the issue. Personally, I'd prefer to share with a bf, not my parents. If I could afford it, I'd take the extra cost. If you're paying for everything, just think of it as a gift for your parents and they get added privacy too! If you weren't paying anything for the room, I'd definitely go with the bf and pay my own way. Perhaps some clarification on who is paying for the shared room with your parents...?
Gaeta Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 Depends: How long you've been dating? Is this a serious relationship? Is he generous with you normally? Why not call the hotels and make new arrangements? If you don't sleep with your parents then do they need a big room with 2 king size beds? I don't think so. Pick a smaller room for them at a cheaper price. Maybe check with the hotel how much are the on-suite, it could be cheaper than 2 rooms OR you can deal a discount for booking 2 rooms. 4
Kamille Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 Would you and your boyfriend be willing to go into fractions? You pay 1250 and he pays 750$? Would your parents be willing to foot some of the cost of the trip? (If I understand correctly, you're paying their fare and their hotel room?) What about changing the accommodations altogether and getting an Airbnb?
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 If you can't afford to pay the extra tell him that. Frankly, you should have discussed all the financial aspects before he committed. Work with him & talk until you come up with something that works for you both. 1
Miss Spider Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 (edited) He pays for his hotel room. Why should you shell out the extra money? This wasn't a trip you planned together. if he wants to tag along he should pay his own way. If he doesn't wanna sleep alone, he can let you join him, but he pays.... Edited May 12, 2017 by Cookiesandough
CptInsano Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 Vacationing with her parents? In most cases you'd have to pay me. But seriously, there is no right or wrong, just what you and your boyfriend negotiate. 3
PogoStick Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 The best answer is: you should have both agreed to the terms of the trip before you agreed to go together. So many questions, some have already been asked, also: Why didn't you invite him? Aren't you excited to have him along? Why don't you want to share a room with him? Are the parents paying anything?
johngalt1149 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 (edited) What kind of man invites himself and then doesn't pick up the tab? Sooo wrong. Is he 17? Unemployed. You shouldn't have to ask for anything. I'll meet you means he better have a room and rental car of his own. Only cheap kids that don't understand chivalry would answer otherwise. It is the price of admission. Don't cheapen yourself. Edited May 12, 2017 by johngalt1149
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I would be a little miffed if my gf invited himself and then after buying the ticket to fly, tells me I have help him pay for his room. I have some of the same questions others do: 1. Why didn't you invite him in the first place? Did he reject the idea at first? 2. Why did it take him 2-weeks to plan booking the rooms when he'd already paid for the flight tickets (right?) 3. Why doesn't he find cheaper rooms (depending on where you all are going) you can find decent rooms for less than $500 for a week. Anyway, as someone else said, if you can't afford this, let him know. He should be able to cover himself, right? 1
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