sweetgirl75 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 Has anyone had success with online dating? What is your favorite site? I tend to run into guys much younger than me and they have one thing on their mind or wanting to send me pics which I did not ask for. I am not talking about general above the waist pics. I have gone on a few dates and guys tend to lie about what they look like. One guy said he was athletic and when I met him he waddled and he was well over 300 lbs and smelled like he didn't take a shower in a few days. I have not found a guy that does not want anything but casual no strings attached relationships. I am old fashioned and I like long term relationships.
greymatter Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I started OLD in 2015, 5 years after my divorce. I met someone on Tinder after 2 months of OLDing, and was in a 14-month relationship with him. I've recently returned to OLDing and feel like it's going okay, in terms of connecting with and attracting men I would be willing to meet IRL. 1
palmsand Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 (edited) I have been on for a while. No trouble getting first dates but the problem is that usually there isn't a second or third - one of us isn't interested. I did see the second women I met for a month though. Some women have told me about their experience on OLD, basically a horror story, same things you mention seeing. I've met people on six or seven different apps but the majority were from okCupid and POF. I have considered myself lucky to only have met one that was intentionally deceptive with her profile, pictures. Edited May 12, 2017 by palmsand 1
act00 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I met a guy online, and he was a superfan of some sports thing, and there was a "big game" later. I wasn't keen on planning a date that was sandwiched between "other things to do," but I would also like to meet fast and not prolong this texting nonsense -- rip off the band-aid. He wanted to meet me on Saturday, so I asked this guy to give me a time that worked best for him, since he is the one who had "stuff to do." I suggested a place, and he didn't like it and suggested another place. Fine. I have no preference, so MexiRestaraunt it is. This guy was late. He then proceeded to bitch about this restaurant and the sucky food, the sucky service, the sucky prices, and it was just all around a sucky place. He had lots of ranty opinions, of which at one point I think I said, "You can't be an a**h*** all the time." He turned out to be a very unpleasant person, but what really got me was that he chose the time, and he chose the place, and he then proceeded to pick apart and bitch about everything..and he picked it. Why, please tell my why, you picked a restaurant you detest?? At a time that didn't work for you?? WHY?? Needless to say, nothing progressed from there.
FoundLove Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I was on an online dating site for a little over a year and met a couple of guys, but it never went anywhere. I was slowly losing all motivation and was really close to giving up on the whole thing... and then I met my now husband! We have been together now for 4 years and married for 3. So yes, online dating can work. It is a numbers game in my opinion. The more people you interact with, the better your chances become of finding someone you can have a relationship with. So, whatever you do, don't give up! And change your profile so people can see you are only interested in long term relationships, not flings. 3
Gaeta Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I was online 3,5 years and met close to 200 men. I had a lot of attention and I could go on dates 2-3 times a week if I wished. I got lied to, played, ghosted, stalked, name it. I also met great guys but it didn't mesh, I made friends that I have kept to this day, and finally 1,5 year ago I met my prince charming. I am 50 and had many relationships in my life and this one is the best by far. Online dating has been a positive experience for me. I have learn many lessons on there, I grew a tough skin, I learn about myself and my wants and needs. I took every punch and rolled with them. It was definitely and experience that built my character. 4
salparadise Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I was on an online dating site for a little over a year and met a couple of guys, but it never went anywhere. I was slowly losing all motivation and was really close to giving up on the whole thing... and then I met my now husband! See this is the thing... people blame the whole concept of online dating for their lack of success in finding a mate. That is the epitome of irrational assumptions. They offer crazy stories of bad dates, liars and misrepresentation, etc., etc. That's not a problem with concept, that's on the individual, and the ones who can't spot BS a mile away. Learn to cull efficiently. Focus only on quality, and meet quickly (a few days) as opposed to thinking you can secure a guarantee by messaging for a month, because you can't. If you're a woman, put on your big-gurl panties and send the first message to men you're interested in. I know some men, myself included, seldom do cold calling on those sites because it's such a waste of time and effort (women receive too many messages). My method is to message after a like or multiple profile views or receiving a first message from a woman. I've had pretty good success that way. It also means I avoid the reticent wallflower types and meet women who are reciprocal and take some initiative, which I prefer. I've had five relationships (maybe beginning a 6th) since being divorced, and four began online. Two lasted a year and a half, the others 4-6 months. What you have to understand is, everyone on there is a person who has not been successful as sustaining a marriage or long-term relationship, and for ninety percent of them the reason is either obvious or becomes apparent pretty fast. Ignore them. The other ten percent are where you focus. Yes, you're looking for a needle in a haystack, and your ability to discern is key. 1
CloudyHead Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 You do have to get a thick skin with OLD. I was on OLD for about 11 months before meeting someone and we both decided to get off OLD and not date anyone else. We have been dating for about seven months now. I met the strangest men. It actually made me realize how lucky I am to have the life I live and that my life is calm and peaceful for the most part. I never went on a date thinking "is he the one?". I always looked at my dates as opportunities to meet someone new and kept my expectations very low. If I was iffy about a person, then I went on a second date. 1
grays Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I was online 3,5 years and met close to 200 men. I had a lot of attention and I could go on dates 2-3 times a week if I wished. I got lied to, played, ghosted, stalked, name it. I also met great guys but it didn't mesh, I made friends that I have kept to this day, and finally 1,5 year ago I met my prince charming. I am 50 and had many relationships in my life and this one is the best by far. Online dating has been a positive experience for me. I have learn many lessons on there, I grew a tough skin, I learn about myself and my wants and needs. I took every punch and rolled with them. It was definitely and experience that built my character. This is my experience too, but I havent been at it as long and havent met a true partner (yet). IMO, it takes lots and lots of dates to find someone that works for you. Ive met loads of almost-mister-rights. My most successful ones so far were more like FWB that real relationships, but one of those lasted a year and a half and was a great guy who I was crazy over. Right now Im dating someone who I first met nearly a year ago and we've taken a couple of breaks but I really like him a lot, too. Ive mostly had a great time. 1
rushed Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 I was on OLD for two months last year. In those two months I went out with four different guys, the last one being my now boyfriend whom I adore. Next month marks are one year anniversary. He's handsome, professional, and sweet as can be. OLD was fun and a huge pain at the same time. So many guys. So many choices. Ego boosts and rejections abound. Many people will tell you Tinder is just for hook-ups, but I liked Tinder the best. You just need to filter through the guys properly. Ask the guy what he's looking for. If he says "nothing serious" then you know to move on. 1
scubasteve Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 Match- been on it over a year meet one girl on there waste of my time.. PoF- talked to a few girls met no one before match bought pof and when pof was a truly free site. true.com- waste of time and thank God it no longer exists. Eharmomy- been on it for years , paying member and still nothing tinder- waste of time bumble - talked to a few girls and nothing waste of time
BG1 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 My last relationship, 2.5 years started via Tinder. I never loved someone so much. Didn't go well in the end but we had great experiences together. I met her when I was about to quit dating apps. I went to some good dates and some bad ones before meeting my ex. In my house, one of my flatmates met her actual boyfriend on Tinder too. Dating apps are not for everyone. I haven't used them for almost 3 years now. Seems everyone is on them now.
planb1973 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 First lets define success in "dating sites." Have I had success dating? Yes. But thats dating and not love. I've met countless women, had a lot of fun, and more sex than I think I would get by being married. Along the way I have learned a lot about myself, what works and what doesn't. My confidence with dating and meeting new people has risen. lifetime friendships have developed, hearts have been broken, lessons have been learned, and I have fallen in love. I have found myself somewhat of a ladies man, my neighbors look at me in amazement at the number of different cars that end up in my driveway overnight. So if you look at the success of "dating" then yes I have been very successful. If on the other hand you look at the success of finding true love in dating sites. The answer in no. I have expended a great deal of energy going on first dates, picking cool restaurants, planning weekend getaways, cleaning my house, handing out compliments, cooking dinners, initiating communication, being vulnerable and taking risks. Once I thought I had found a woman I wanted to go the distance with. She broke my heart twice. I have been stood up, lied to, ghosted, left for someone else, taken for a free meal, and rejected. When it all comes down to it if you go into the dating sites with the assumption you will find true love you will most likely be disappointed. But if you go into it with an open mind that you are going to meet new people, have some great experiences then you will probably have a fun time with it, and if luck is on your side the universe might just match you up with someone you will still be waking up to years down the road.
greenicon Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 I have used OLD on a few occasions. I used it in the early days 2004 ish. Met my ex-wife on line. We were together nearly 10 years so it proves you can meet people for LTR's. After the divorce the landscape had changed dramatically. I've used it and met a nice woman. We dated for a year but it ran its course. Since then I've drawn a blank and got pretty fed up with things. It's a frustrating platform with a lot of flaws. Women are literally hunted down. As a guy you have more chance of winning the lottery than getting a date it would seem at times. The guys on here are right - patience and having a thick skin help...which I struggle with. Came off the sites last week and decided to take a break from it. Feel better for it. It's an exhausting process and not always a very rewarding one. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 I've used OLD for about 5 years now. Not great success, but ok. My best dates came from EHarmony, but stopped using paid sights and now I get on and off results from OKC and POF. Lately, I have had much more communication success on POF and continue to do so. I am relocating so not dating until I reach my destination. I am in contact with 2-3 promising ladies in the location where I am moving to.
greenicon Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 My last relationship, 2.5 years started via Tinder. I never loved someone so much. Didn't go well in the end but we had great experiences together. I met her when I was about to quit dating apps. I went to some good dates and some bad ones before meeting my ex. In my house, one of my flatmates met her actual boyfriend on Tinder too. Dating apps are not for everyone. I haven't used them for almost 3 years now. Seems everyone is on them now. That's a good point - sort of become the norm in a lot of ways. It makes the whole process a lot tougher for that reason. More choice doesn't mean more success..
Thedubman Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 (edited) Has anyone had success with online dating? What is your favorite site? I tend to run into guys much younger than me and they have one thing on their mind or wanting to send me pics which I did not ask for. I am not talking about general above the waist pics. I have gone on a few dates and guys tend to lie about what they look like. One guy said he was athletic and when I met him he waddled and he was well over 300 lbs and smelled like he didn't take a shower in a few days. I have not found a guy that does not want anything but casual no strings attached relationships. I am old fashioned and I like long term relationships. I've ran into similar issues as you did as a male. It's crazy how good people are at making themselves look at certain way online and in pictures!!! For me if you only have pictures of your face, I won't talk to you, and assume you have something to hide. This may sound dumb, but my strategy is to put my worst pictures in my profile, and I'm not photogenic to begin with and believe I look better in person anyways. It works for me, I've gotten complimented numerous times saying I look alot more handsome in person. It seems to give a good first impression. Edited May 13, 2017 by Thedubman
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