ShyLove Posted May 11, 2017 Posted May 11, 2017 So I have been chatting with a guy I met online for a week. We are in regular communication by text (everyday)and have talked on the phone earlier in the week. While on the phone he asked me out for tonight. He texted me this afternoon saying he can't wait to finally meet me but still hadn't set a time or place.(he's working but still...) A little bit ago I texted him "hey, do you know what you'd like to do for tonight?" He wrote back stating maybe drinks at this place or this place?" I just wrote back "ok :)" bc I don't know if he's just that laid back or that bad at dating lol would that turn anyone off? Also, yesterday he started calling me "hun" in texts. Before we even meet? Before these two incidents I was very excited about him bc he's sort of shy and seemed really sweet on the phone. Our conversation flowed effortlessly. He's of a different culture but I don't know if that means anything. Like a lot of people I'm tired of the disappointments but I guess I won't know until I actually go on the date. Any similar experiences? Thanks!
sweetgirl75 Posted May 11, 2017 Posted May 11, 2017 So I have been chatting with a guy I met online for a week. We are in regular communication by text (everyday)and have talked on the phone earlier in the week. While on the phone he asked me out for tonight. He texted me this afternoon saying he can't wait to finally meet me but still hadn't set a time or place.(he's working but still...) A little bit ago I texted him "hey, do you know what you'd like to do for tonight?" He wrote back stating maybe drinks at this place or this place?" I just wrote back "ok :)" bc I don't know if he's just that laid back or that bad at dating lol would that turn anyone off? Also, yesterday he started calling me "hun" in texts. Before we even meet? Before these two incidents I was very excited about him bc he's sort of shy and seemed really sweet on the phone. Our conversation flowed effortlessly. He's of a different culture but I don't know if that means anything. Like a lot of people I'm tired of the disappointments but I guess I won't know until I actually go on the date. Any similar experiences? Thanks! After my experiences with online dating I am really cautious. If he can't make a specific date as to time and place I would be wary. He may just be wishy washy. Also pet names right away to me are kind of strange especially if you haven't met yet. One guy until I talked to him on the phone claimed to be from Oklahoma. His picture was a white guy but then when I talked to him he had an accent like my friend from Africa. I knew this was not good so I hung up on him and blocked him right away. He also was over the top with the pet names sweetie, cutie, dear, etc.
preraph Posted May 11, 2017 Posted May 11, 2017 NO! He doesn't want to date you. He wants to come over or you come over and hook up and just have sex. Unless having sex with someone you don't know who doesn't want to date you is what you want, don't even go! 1
act00 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I think it would have been reasonable for you, OP, when a choice was presented, to state, "I like This Place. Let's go there." Put in some input. You've been chatting for a full week, so I think it's okay to open up your mouth (text) and help out with the planning process, especially if you want someplace you know, like better, or is conveniently located to your home and travel issues. You state he comes across as a bit shy, so participate in the planning. Some guys suck at planning. Honestly, I wonder how they survive adulthood without a mother or wife or personal planner, butler, secretary, etc. As far as pet names? It doesn't really bother me much; not after some communication, which you have had. It can be a bit red-flaggy, I will admit. To each his own. I have no advice here, as it is really not an issue for me right now. So at this point, you like him, but you're not really sure what to think. See what happens on the date. Make your choices from there. If you find he's always really bad about planning, but really good and showing up and a great guy to be around, consider this your lot in life if this ever rockets into long-term...you will have to be the planner. Cautiously proceed. If he flakes out on the date, then don't bother again...unless you're willing to give it one more chance, but I wouldn't drag it out to a third try if he bails on try #2. 1
SevenCity Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 NO! He doesn't want to date you. He wants to come over or you come over and hook up and just have sex. Unless having sex with someone you don't know who doesn't want to date you is what you want, don't even go! That's not always a guys motive when they act like this. He could be, not interested, semi-interested, a flake, love bomber, catfish, married, involved, or just really bad at dating. Whatever the reason it doesn't look good. The pet names and texting every day is also a red flag to me. When a guy is excited to see a girl he wants to lock it down and make definite plans.
basil67 Posted May 12, 2017 Posted May 12, 2017 I think it would have been reasonable for you, OP, when a choice was presented, to state, "I like This Place. Let's go there." Put in some input. You've been chatting for a full week, so I think it's okay to open up your mouth (text) and help out with the planning process, especially if you want someplace you know, like better, or is conveniently located to your home and travel issues. You state he comes across as a bit shy, so participate in the planning. Some guys suck at planning. Honestly, I wonder how they survive adulthood without a mother or wife or personal planner, butler, secretary, etc. As far as pet names? It doesn't really bother me much; not after some communication, which you have had. It can be a bit red-flaggy, I will admit. To each his own. I have no advice here, as it is really not an issue for me right now. So at this point, you like him, but you're not really sure what to think. See what happens on the date. Make your choices from there. If you find he's always really bad about planning, but really good and showing up and a great guy to be around, consider this your lot in life if this ever rockets into long-term...you will have to be the planner. Cautiously proceed. If he flakes out on the date, then don't bother again...unless you're willing to give it one more chance, but I wouldn't drag it out to a third try if he bails on try #2. This ^^ Though I have to add, my husband sucks at planning. I mean, he's great with work, but just switches off for social planning. I would like more planning from him, but this is a part of who he is and I accept it without complaint. However, if I needed guy who was very assertive with planning, he wouldn't be a good choice for me. In short, you've got an indicator that he's not a great planner - or isn't terribly assertive. Decide if this is a trait you can live with. 1
Author ShyLove Posted May 12, 2017 Author Posted May 12, 2017 Thanks all!! He apologized earlier for not setting anything in stone bc he works on movie sets and he never knows when he's going to get off. He did tell me that on the phone earlier in the week. He confirmed a time and place now. So we'll see if this pattern continues bc I do like sssertive guys. As far as the "hun" goes , I looked back and he said it twice BUT I also called him "dear" a few times (without even realizing it bc I just say that word a lot)so maybe I am giving HIM red flags hahaha anyway, I'm going to go and see how I feel. I'll let you guys know!! Thanks!! 1
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