Tiredgirl941 Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 So it's been about two months since the 1.5 year relationship ended (his choice). He said he needed space to get over me and that it was hard for him to talk to me, even though he was the dumper. Which I now think was a polite way of just getting rid of me. I reached out a bit after that, friendly stuff. He was always polite and responded, but was always the first to end the conversation. Today I heard some things about flirtatious behaviour with other women during our relationship, which gut punched me. I texted to confront him and he got angry and told me to eff off and leave him alone. Which for some reason made be start begging him for another shot, saying I still love him, all the humiliating things. He just stopped answering me. God I'm in so much pain again, like day one. And now I've lost all my dignity too. How to come back from this...please help. I wish I could have a rewind button for the last half hour of my life. 1
harrybrown Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 So sorry. Go back to complete N/C. do you have your family to talk to at this time? if not, can you go to I/C? Read up on the 180 to help yourself get him out of your emotions. Not a fun place to be, but do something for yourself. there are better times ahead and many fish in the sea. 1
Telemachus Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 You can't take it back. If you've hit rock-bottom, then you can claw your way back up. If you haven't yet, then there may be further indignities that you heap upon yourself. We've all been there. Just pretend you didn't contact him, and never contact him again. Give yourself a fresh start and a new direction. 1
Maldives Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 So it's been about two months since the 1.5 year relationship ended (his choice). He said he needed space to get over me and that it was hard for him to talk to me, even though he was the dumper. Which I now think was a polite way of just getting rid of me. I reached out a bit after that, friendly stuff. He was always polite and responded, but was always the first to end the conversation. Today I heard some things about flirtatious behaviour with other women during our relationship, which gut punched me. I texted to confront him and he got angry and told me to eff off and leave him alone. Which for some reason made be start begging him for another shot, saying I still love him, all the humiliating things. He just stopped answering me. God I'm in so much pain again, like day one. And now I've lost all my dignity too. How to come back from this...please help. I wish I could have a rewind button for the last half hour of my life. I know that feeling I've done the same thing myself 1st I guess to give u some perspective, the reason u suddenly did a 180 and begged him etc was because of his reaction. His reaction spoke to ur gut or intuition he was moving on and quickly absolutly normal to react this way. I believe they call it reverse psychology. The best way to deal wth it and the humiliation is just let time do its thing. Let time dissipitate the emotion. That's it feel the humiliation and realise it's ur bodies way of protecting itself from any further damage. Make sense? And watever u do from here on in don't contact him anymore. Or risk the possibility of further hurt and humiliation. The one way I try and reason wth it is uve said how u feel now that's the ball is in his court. And in the grand scheme of things it won't matter much really it won't. When I got dumped mths later I was still checking out the ex's Instagram and accidently double tapped liking a photo not knowing full well how Instagram worked lol. I was intending to enlarge the photo lol. So u know I felt the regret and just reset and try again and abstain from any contact. Again it really doesn't matter in a cpl yrs u wont be sitting there thinking oh gee I wish that time I hadn't expressed how I felt most likely u expressing ureself will further help u let go. What I mean by that is seeing there reaction and coldness just cuts the chord more effectively because if u hadn't u might be there wondering ohow maybe I should of said this or done that all the ifs and should see are eliminated make sense? So think of it as an effective letting go tool 1
Author Tiredgirl941 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 I know that feeling I've done the same thing myself 1st I guess to give u some perspective, the reason u suddenly did a 180 and begged him etc was because of his reaction. His reaction spoke to ur gut or intuition he was moving on and quickly absolutly normal to react this way. I believe they call it reverse psychology So think of it as an effective letting go tool This is so right...when I confronted him about the alleged other girls I was expecting him to be apologetic, embarrassed, to deny it, to soothe me in some way, whatever. His instant anger and dismissal was so shocking, the complete opposite of what I was expecting. I went from righteous indignation to a begging mess in 5 seconds. Rejection messes with your brain. 1
Titanll Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 Trust me, you will find the strength to move on. Chalk this up as a mistake, try to learn what you can and discard the rest. We have all been there and it sucks and nothing I say will help but time will. Time and knowing that one day that you will look back and laugh at dodging that bullet of a boyfriend. Report back here as soon as Mr. Dreamy new boyfriend enters the picture... 1
Sweetfish Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 Is this the man you were with and he was married and left you and the wife? If so stop chasing him and find someone who only cares for you. Have you seeked therapy yet? 2
Titanll Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 Is this the man you were with and he was married and left you and the wife? If so stop chasing him and find someone who only cares for you. Have you seeked therapy yet? I got to start reading more posts to keep up. If OP is messing with a married guy then I retract my post...I have no sympathy for someone cheating.
stillafool Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 The last time you texted him he didn't respond. You should go back to NC, delete his number and do whatever you have to do so you don't contact him again. One thing that would help is to stop seeking information about what is going on in his life. Don't ask questions about him, spy on him online or accept information about him. It's over so put this behind you and try to heal even if it means seeking therapy.
bluefeather Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 You made a mistake. It happens. Just don't repeat it by contacting him again, even if it's after some time has passed and you feel like you "should apologize" or any other excuse to reach out to him. Just don't do it. Work on yourself and create a better life for you.
Recommended Posts