Girlfriend is accusing me of something I didn't do now she's ghosting me (ignoring

May 12, 2017

Only recourse is in civil court and that will be a good size legal bill unless she no shows, then you can have your way. No one will step in except a judge in legal. And again, what smart landlord will allow you to remove yourself from the lease without penalty. You signed, you guaranteed. She has no credit. She has nothing to lose, you do. Assuming you want to keep your credit and are collectible. Police won't get involved, it is a civil matter. Who knows if he gifted the furniture, who knows who really owns the furniture and too often it is based upon what side of the bed the Judge (assuming you get that far) got up on. Even negotiating to remove your name if they do it (unlikely though) will mean more payment on your behalf.e

I've been here, wife stole my safe, coins, leather goods. Close to 35K. Police let me take the safe back nothing else. Rest went to the Judge for decision. No policeman will allow him to take the goods and potentially cause an argument and break the peace. Unless she admits it's his and not a gift and is willing to let him take it.

Edited May 12, 2017 by johngalt1149

May 14, 2017

Which is a small price to pay to get this one out of your life forever. Believe me, you can't put a price tag on peace of mind and being able to walk away without feeling the need to go upside somebody's head.
.

She send me a text today. After seeing light on how this relationship is not good for me, she send me a text making feel bad.

What am I missing here?

She text this "I just feel like I lost trust... Maybe I'll get it back one day.. it's been difficult too, I used the fridge money for rent and have been saving every penny preparing for next months rent and am still behind one month on my car again"

So she believes I was spying on her or stalking. It never cross my mind to do so. I'm an adult and I have things in order. This suck being accuse of something I didn't do after doing soo much for, even signing a damn lease with her.

Her text reads things are in troubles and will need help soon.

May 14, 2017

I have not responded back. Not sure if I should or not. This is so depressing. Now she's turning this on me, that it's my fault she left... geez

May 14, 2017

Really she doesn't deserve a response. She has shown you her true colours and is now just fishing for some free money.

May 15, 2017

If I were you I would reply

I will reply with something like listen I understand that's fine let's take all the time you need but at least let me help you take care of these financial problems I don't want to see you go through these alone I'll come by and let's figure out a game plan

Stop by get the key gain the trust for a couple of days when she's at work or gone take all the furniture take everything out and delete and block her number and then find a way to break the lease through a lawyer

May 15, 2017

So he takes "his stuff". She says to the police he gave it to me and then used his key illegally to get in......yeah some PD might say it's civil and you need to go to court, but some will take the crying lady's word and arrest him and let the Judge sort it out. Why advocate a possible criminal strategy. He doesn't care about the furniture. She only wants to use him. Speak to the landlord, see if there's a way out. Ask for the furniture back if she'll do it. Otherwise walk away, and run away.

May 15, 2017

She send me a text today. After seeing light on how this relationship is not good for me, she send me a text making feel bad.

What am I missing here?

She text this "I just feel like I lost trust... Maybe I'll get it back one day.. it's been difficult too, I used the fridge money for rent and have been saving every penny preparing for next months rent and am still behind one month on my car again"

So she believes I was spying on her or stalking. It never cross my mind to do so. I'm an adult and I have things in order. This suck being accuse of something I didn't do after doing soo much for, even signing a damn lease with her.

Her text reads things are in troubles and will need help soon.

She needs help with next month's rent of course. Is this the first you've heard from here since your original post?

Came Friday day so i call her in the morning and she did not answer so I texted her. "Are you alright? I'm beginning to worried." She responded after 20 minutes "I saw your truck on Monday after I got off of work". I don't know what that means, so I responded at the heat of the moment send 4 msgs, and basically explained I was with my parent on that night.

So for the past week or more she haven't answered my calls and she has been distant.

Do you have an appointment with an attorney yet? You need to get out of that lease so she doesn't **** up your credit or your rental history. This could negatively impact your future housing prospects.

May 15, 2017

So he takes "his stuff". She says to the police he gave it to me and then used his key illegally to get in......yeah some PD might say it's civil and you need to go to court, but some will take the crying lady's word and arrest him and let the Judge sort it out. Why advocate a possible criminal strategy. He doesn't care about the furniture. She only wants to use him. Speak to the landlord, see if there's a way out. Ask for the furniture back if she'll do it. Otherwise walk away, and run away.

How is that stealing his name is on the lease and he has a right to be there all he has to do is talk to her and tell her that is going to help her and then sell all the furniture and tell her hey have a nice day he's got receipts for all the stuff nothing is stolen she has to prove that he went in there illegally or he broke in and stole it if he has a key and he's on the lease how is that stealing and breaking in

May 15, 2017

How is that stealing his name is on the lease and he has a right to be there all he has to do is talk to her and tell her that is going to help her and then sell all the furniture and tell her hey have a nice day he's got receipts for all the stuff nothing is stolen she has to prove that he went in there illegally or he broke in and stole it if he has a key and he's on the lease how is that stealing and breaking in

It's definitely a gray area. I like the idea in theory but it'll most likely cause more problems than it's worth. He needs to tie up the loose ends with the lease as a first priority.

May 15, 2017

So I met girl online and we have being going out for about 7 months now. She's 28 I'm 34. We have been physical. She's a single mom. She has been struggling for some time and I offer to help her out. Her car got repossessed in the first month I started seeing her, she was behind on rent to. Having problem with her ex, she would call me and cry i just listen to her. Try to distract her by taking her on mini vacation. Like we rented villa, small local trip, Vegas and visited many restaurants. After 3 months of going out she presented her child to me, which I don't mind.

She's very loving when we are together, she has great social skills, able to establish conversation with whomever. I have been jealous a few times buts that's because guys talk to her in front of me and she continues conversation. But I just stay cool and next to her and feel very confident about myself. After she's done about a minute or two she makes eye contact with me I grab her hand and kiss her. She has talked about moving from her current place and about 3 weeks ago I helped her move out. Before the move I took her shopping many time. Her son bday was on April, which I help her out by buying all the party supplies. I bought him an electric car and many other small things.

As I help her move to the place I bought her new furniture, bed for her and a bed for her son, dinning table, couch, tv, refrigerator and house decorations. I spend close to $14k on the move which included everything, deposit for the place and first&last month rent and new furniture.

She's has two jobs her catering business and works at a restaurant both jobs required great discipline to make ends meet. She has gone through lots of stress, the ex, bills, housing, son bday, mom visiting and lately a medical condition nothing life threatening, just some painful cyst. But about two weeks ago, we when out on Monday and she got annoyed that ask many question about her health issue, she told to please not ask her anymore. That she's knows I care for her and to talk about something else. At one time she told I was insecure 2 months ago. After our afternoon date I texted her in the evening time got no response, call her the following day and she did not answer. So I gave her some time and space. Came Friday day so i call her in the morning and she did not answer so I texted her. "Are you alright? I'm beginning to worried." She responded after 20 minutes "I saw your truck on Monday after I got off of work". I don't know what that means, so I responded at the heat of the moment send 4 msgs, and basically explained I was with my parent on that night.

So for the past week or more she haven't answered my calls and she has been distant. I truely care for her and feeling confused that she's ignoring me. I’m starting to worry that she's not interested in seeing me any more. Wish she can open up to me about what else is going on. I just feel that I have always been there for her and i feel hurt that she's ignoring me. I gave soo much, that, now i feel that all my effort were in vain. Feeling very sad, used, taking advantage off and laugh at. I need hard criticism, please help. And i also sign a lease with her ):

This happen to me in 2015, I've learned my lesson. You higher in what you gave out by 4K more. I never signed anything for her. But open up two bank accounts which I use today for my own use and drop her name off them. You help out a

"damsel-in-distress"

My friend your not the only one who has done that. We both got had. Nothing you can do about it just move on and don't contact her ever again. I was able to get what I gave her back though 1.5K the rest friends help me but like I said never give a strange girl friend so much support. Why didn't you just move her in with you. Look what you did you pretty much did what I did and the end result is bad..

May 15, 2017

She send me a text today. After seeing light on how this relationship is not good for me, she send me a text making feel bad.

What am I missing here?

She text this "I just feel like I lost trust... Maybe I'll get it back one day.. it's been difficult too, I used the fridge money for rent and have been saving every penny preparing for next months rent and am still behind one month on my car again"

So she believes I was spying on her or stalking. It never cross my mind to do so. I'm an adult and I have things in order. This suck being accuse of something I didn't do after doing soo much for, even signing a damn lease with her.

Her text reads things are in troubles and will need help soon.

Yep your going through what I had gone through back in 2015. Mine called the police on her saying I was stalker her I was only trying to see and talk to her she got my text messages. Instead of answer them, I ended up driving 3 hrs to her area. One month later she text and call me to come back. Bad move. She said I hope you can fix everything so we can be together again. It was a lie.

I wasn't allowed to leave the house I help her save until she got back from work. One day I decided to leave. when she drove off to work on morning.. I quickly grab everything I gave her some things I could even fit like the dishwasher or the bed I had built or her hip problem. All in all this woman was nutty. The police will be on her side and not yours. This is how it is today. I like how the sheriff had asked me what happen to you two. I didn't know he was her personal friend what a setup. She tried to get me arrested by trying to get me to come directly to her house and then have the sheriff nab me in the act. I am not that dumb. I got a call from her sheriff friend asking me to come to the house and pick up my things. She would never give back my laptop told me that was a gift. Nope it was not.

Today I have my laptop back I had to take it when she was gone to work. I left and was safe. She called the sheriff on me but they can't do anything to me because it was my stuff I owned and pay for it. One thing she wanted and told them it was birthday gift cost like $800 yeah right it wasn't what she said. But today I have it. You fallen for what is know as a SETUP you was taken she knew what she was doing.

May 15, 2017

To recap on this drama I'm dealing with. The last time we met was for lunch, on monday april 24. Where she got annoyed with me by asking on her health condition (ovary cyst). After our date I texted her in the evening no respond, called her on tuesday April 25, she did not answer. Gave her some time and space. She did not text or call. Waited till friday, decided to call her in the morning, she did not answer. Waited one hr she did not call so i decide to text her, i wrote "Are you alright? I'm beginning to worried." She responded after 20 minutes "I saw your truck on Monday after I got off of work".

So I responded at the heat of the moment send 4 msgs, and basically explained I was with my parent on that night. She did not texted back nor called back. So i waited till Monday May 1, i call her and she did not answer.

I did not text or call her after that, when through the emotional hurt as why she's ignoring me. Couldn't sleep, loss appetite, it effected my self-esteem, worst feeling ever. Wanted to talk to someone, found this site and started writing. This helped a lot, got amazing insight and help me express my bottled up feelings. It open up my eyes.

So now today, May 14, i get a text from, "I just feel like I lost trust... Maybe I'll get it back one day.. it's been difficult too, I used the fridge money for rent and have been saving every penny preparing for next months rent and am still behind one month on my car again"

I have not responded back yet. Wanted to clear my thoughts. So she's in troubles. After reading her text many times, i can assumed she thinks I'm spying or stalking her, which I'm clearly not. Another thing the fridge we bought at home depot, she either return it or sold it. Her text saids she use that money to pay for rent. And she's behind one month on her car.

Funny how she didn't focus on her trust issues with me. Or maybe she was over acting to it. But gave so much emphasise on how difficult it has been for her, saving every penny, preparing her self for next month and she's behind her car payment.

What's wrong with her? Didn't she realize she had a good thing for her and now i have open up my eyes. And now she would loose what she had.

May 15, 2017

Stop looking into it op she's only contacting you because she needs money

She's long gone ... be a man and I would suggest you work on getting your things back

May 15, 2017

I know how you guys been wondering if i have spoken with an attorney yet. After many suggesting, yes i have. I spoke with two on Saturday.

The first attorney was very blunt didn't like him much. He kinda mock me and laught. After 20 mins of talking with him, he basically said to me where were my man pants. He's advice was to talk to landlord and be firm that i want to break the lease. And if they use vague language as what they want to do, to tell them i have legal representation and to give them his card. And to forget about the furniture. Letting her keep the furniture will reminder her of what she loss and she will always remember me by.

The second attorney i went to he told all the things i wanted to hear. He will help me get all the furniture back or much as possible. And he will help me get a good deal on breaking the lease. To forget about the girl and make her feel sorry. He didn't mention nothing about time, only thing he will work for me and it will take time to get a court date as long she responds back. With him I'm looking into a $2k till $3500 legal fees.

Decide to take first attorney advice and man up.

May 15, 2017

Good call on going with the first attorney. Looks like he's seen this before and wants to help you get a clean break.

The second attorney is just looking at you as a source of revenue and thus will drag things out needlessly.

May 15, 2017

Most people don't realize the police are not lawyers or judges and will generally take a crying woman's statement as truth over the "stalking ex". She lives there, not you regardless of your name on the lease. That's a civil litigation issue. Is it your furniture or hers?, again a civil issue...getting your name off the lease, again a civil issue, unless you can convince or buy your way out with landlord. You will pay Attys fees easily as much as the value of the furniture with no guarantee of winning, assuming she shows in court. Rationally the only thing to do is attempt to negotiate with her which probably won't work anyway but at least you'll see her true colors. Honestly the lady is a whore, using you for what she can get. Only real shot to save your credit is to try to get off lease but why would a smart landlord allow that. She's behind already and will be soon behind even more and you are theoretically collectible. Seriously, talk to landlord and run or hope she finds another (sorry to be blunt, I know it hurts) sad sack.

May 16, 2017

Rationally the only thing to do is attempt to negotiate with her which probably won't work anyway but at least you'll see her true colors. Honestly the lady is a whore, using you for what she can get. Only real shot to save your credit is to try to get off lease but why would a smart landlord allow that. She's behind already and will be soon behind even more and you are theoretically collectible. Seriously, talk to landlord and run or hope she finds another (sorry to be blunt, I know it hurts) sad sack.

I spoke with the landlord and found out she's gets along well with the girl I was seeing.

Johngalt1149 what's the name of your Crystal ball. Smart landlord will not allow to break the lease. Apparently all parties who sign the lease need to agree on breaking the lease in order for it to happen. If one wants to get out of the lease he needs to bring someone as a replacement as she told me. I believe this is a lie.

I need to go back to the attorney so he can get me out. Hopefully. If not, it will be a waiting game. For her to fall short on payments then landlord will come after me. I'll say I can pay either, the account get defaulted, lease get broken, then they'll send a bad report the credit bureau. Will suffer the penalties and a bad credit report. Damn it... ):

May 16, 2017

I responded to this text from her.

Her - "I just feel like I lost trust... Maybe I'll get it back one day.. it's been difficult too, I used the fridge money for rent and have been saving every penny preparing for next months rent and am still behind one month on my car again" msg from May 14.

Me - "I can understand, lossing trust is awful, sorry you feel like that way. But I feel I'm being accused of something I did not do. I want to move forward" msg from today May 15 6:20pm

Her - "I didn't accuse you.. I just said "I saw your truck" then you sounded so guilty with all your responses" msg May 15 6:43pm

Her - "I didn't say that you were following me all I said was I saw your truck" msg May 15 7:18pm

Me - "I don't want to play semantics with words or phrases. Sorry my responses made me sound guilty. But I took your saying as I was doing something wrong and you saw me do it." Msg May 15 8:05pm

She has not responded back yet.

Taking the the suggested advice from Purepony member. My intention are to make her feel we might works things out, as I work in getting my name out of the lease.

But she's making no senses, the text she thinks I'm not getting read like this;

Her - "I saw your truck on Monday after I got off of work" msg April 28 on Friday.

I took this, that, she's clearly saying I was either following, spying or stalking her. What other meaning or conclusion can someone come to. She's dancing with words, playing semantics.

May 16, 2017

Hopefully your attorney can get you out of that lease. It's probably smart to play nice for now.

The refrigerator thing is confusing. Why would she sell or return a refrigerator to pay rent? Did she have two of them? She has $14k worth of other furniture she can sell before a refrigerator. I'd get rid of my bed and sleep on a floor mat before I got rid of the thing that keeps my food from spoiling.

Edited to add: she's going to fall out of favor of the landlord quickly enough if she doesn't pay her rent.

Edited May 16, 2017 by rester

May 18, 2017

Hopefully your attorney can get you out of that lease. It's probably smart to play nice for now.

The refrigerator thing is confusing. Why would she sell or return a refrigerator to pay rent? Did she have two of them? She has $14k worth of other furniture she can sell before a refrigerator. I'd get rid of my bed and sleep on a floor mat before I got rid of the thing that keeps my food from spoiling.

Edited to add: she's going to fall out of favor of the landlord quickly enough if she doesn't pay her rent.

The fridge thing can be confusing but after thinking about it, to share some light into it. The last time we met for lunch, she did mention something could be wrong with fridge. She said it so lightly I didn't thought much of it. She kept or I handed her the receipt when we bought it. $1950 for the fridge. So I'm thinking she probably returned it.

Now I'm regretting replying back to he. Because my emotion are still sensitive. It reminded me back to when thing were going good (as what I thought were good). After a few text back and forth, I'm left waiting for her to response back. And this waiting is killing me because she's has not responded to my last msg.

Again im feeling the dreadful anguish as to what happen. Feeling she blew me off and disappeared, leaving me upset, hurt, confused, and trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

I dealt with all of that a few days ago. Back to squared one ):

I want to have enough self-respect not to fall for this crappy thing again.

May 18, 2017

Attorney's are so slow.

When I spoke with the landlord I did not shared as why to I wanted to break the lease. All I said was on a firm tone my situation has change and I can No longer be the lease.

I'm wondering, what do you guys thinks If I should shared my story with her to get some sympathy. Or maybe these stories are all to common for the landlord.

On other things, I'm having great success at work and i get memories that reminds me of her. It's there something wrong with me?

Edited May 18, 2017 by Shyjunior102

May 18, 2017

@Shyjunior102 ~ I wouldn't bother sharing the story with the landlord as she already refused to let you break the lease so they may just think you're coming up with a sob story. Let your attorney know what happened and leave him to do the work. Good luck!

May 18, 2017

Try to distract her by taking her on mini vacation. Like we rented villa, small local trip, Vegas and visited many restaurants.

Before the move I took her shopping many time. Her son bday was on April, which I help her out by buying all the party supplies. I bought him an electric car and many other small things.

As I help her move to the place I bought her new furniture, bed for her and a bed for her son, dinning table, couch, tv, refrigerator and house decorations. I spend close to $14k on the move which included everything, deposit for the place and first&last month rent and new furniture.

So you're single? Can I date you?

Honestly dude, she took you to the cleaners big time. She got what she needed, and never really got that invested in the relationship by the sounds of it.

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