sweetgirl75 Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 When I was growing up seeing older adults dating I thought that was the coolest thing. I would see committed relationships and I wanted that so bad when I became an adult. Fast forward to 2017. People are afraid or don't want to commit. Always thinking casual is best since you don't have to love someone to be intimate. You can have as many as you want. No strings attached. No harm right? Wrong. If you are a loving sensitive lady like I am it hurts like hell. I tried a casual relationship once and it was the worst decision I made. I thought I could suppress my feelings for him but I was so wrong. He definitely had no problem treating me like crap. It was all about him. I knew what I was getting into but it had been a while since I dated and dumb me thought he would love me someday. What a fool I was!!! As for me I like the old fashioned guys that love to take their lady out, meet his family, is proud to have you and show you off. Not hide you like you are some dirty little secret. I felt like that for over a year. It is my fault. I take full responsibility for being in a fake relationship for so long. I try to always see the good in people and I do believe people can change. Not everyone can. You just eventually see them for who they are. 2
Shining One Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 There are still plenty of old-fashioned guys out there looking for old-fashioned women. Are you an old-fashioned woman? 2
Author sweetgirl75 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 I am. I just veered off to the wrong road for a while. I learned my lesson. Not wanting to date for a while. It hasn't been long since my last fake relationship I was in. But yes my roots are old fashioned and I won't be going down the bad road again.
scv88 Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 One month ago I could have typed this same post! I'm 28 and have been mostly in "casual" or "situationships". I've only dated one person seriously and that didn't last long (3 months). I met someone on match last month and he's already taken me on more real dates than anyone has. I'm so used to the other type of relationships that I had a hard time accepting that he enjoys taking me out even though he's not getting anything physically in return. 2
Author sweetgirl75 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 That's awesome!!! He sounds like a good guy. Best wishes to you and your guy 1
LastAcorn99 Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 I’m old fashioned too, and I believe you’re in the right path. Don’t let anyone change your mind again. ((Hugs)) 2
scv88 Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 That's awesome!!! He sounds like a good guy. Best wishes to you and your guy Thanks! I just hope I don't ruin it because I'm so used to the drama/excitement that those other relationships brought. It almost feels like something is missing now, even though we have a great connection.
Author sweetgirl75 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 Thank you!!! Oh no I won't. I learned a very hard lesson. I know exactly how I want to be treated and won't settle for less. I have learned to value myself and respect myself more. 2
Author sweetgirl75 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 Thanks! I just hope I don't ruin it because I'm so used to the drama/excitement that those other relationships brought. It almost feels like something is missing now, even though we have a great connection. You are welcome! I would just relax and enjoy the company of a good guy. Keep that good connection going. As my Mom would say the devil is just trying to ruin a good thing. He hates for us to be content and happy.
MountainGirl111 Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 I always seem to go back to this: "To thine own self be true". That doesn't mean you cannot be true to someone else. But what that means is to not COMPROMISE yourself. I guess it takes feeling like a sucker a time to two to get this lesson. 2
Author sweetgirl75 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 So true. Thank you for sharing that quote. My heart feels so much lighter talking to people who have been through a lot of the same things I have. I have been helped so much.
MountainGirl111 Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 You're welcome, sweetgirl. I've been listening to some really good music today and that has helped me a lot too...those folks who've written all these songs...they've been through it too...and we are not as alone in this as we think. He can have that stupid girl from gym. She's not even that pretty or smart. It's dumb. I've got some hot dates lined up with my guitar. It's going to be okay! Maybe I'm meant to be a lonely hearted musician and I'd be difficult for anyone to be with. 2
morrowrd Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 (edited) We're out there (old fashioned men) - however, old fashioned women are becoming less of a majority. The "women are the new men" craze, isn't anything I like. Get yourself out there, and be patient. If you're using online dating, especially get ready to be patient. "Microwave dating" as I call it, a buffet of men and women out there, easy to meet, easy to sleep with, it's a culture of it's own. I was in it myself for a few years and found the pattern of going out on a few dates, feeling attraction, sleeping together, and then discovering a bunch of red flags or things we don't like, and then quickly ending things. In my case, I was going in circles, cycles of what I just described. Meeting women, getting involved, and then regretting it. I finally decided I was getting tired of this pattern, and decided to stay single but date using boundaries I should have been using all along. I decided that I was wasting precious time getting involved with women too fast, then breaking up after a short period of time. A few years ago (2) I did just that, I used online dating "with patience." I had two women I started seeing regularly, did dinners, bowling, hikes, movies, and didn't sleep with either. Then out of nowhere a woman I work with started texting me. She was someone I never in my life thought would ever be interested in me. She's beautiful, amazingly beautiful and is very feminine in the old fashioned sense. Told me she had a crush on me for years....I've never had that kind of luck where a gorgeous girl falls right into my lap. She told me she would never have approached me if I was in a relationship. (which seemed to be all the time) She said that once she was sure that I wasn't seeing anyone, she decided to try and reach out. If I hadn't taken the time-out, I would have missed out on this amazing golden era of my life. She lives with me now, and I have never had this level of happiness and contentment. The key my friend is patience. Edited May 9, 2017 by morrowrd 2
basil67 Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 I try to always see the good in people and I do believe people can change. Not everyone can. You just eventually see them for who they are. People can change - but only if they want the change for themselves. The person who doesn't change stays the way they are because they are happy as they are. The secret is to find a person who suits you as they are. Don't date based on someone's potential. 1
todreaminblue Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 People can change - but only if they want the change for themselves. The person who doesn't change stays the way they are because they are happy as they are. The secret is to find a person who suits you as they are. Don't date based on someone's potential. i agree with you basil to find a person who suits who you are and not want them to change to suit you......but i do think that you can date someone who you do see potential in and then really want to and be willing to help them reach their potential...its all effort..........you have to see potential though..the diamond in the rough.......deb
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