When the bf isn't sure how he feels anymore

[rie39]

So my boyfriend today is battling with his feelings for me today. He is upset that in the past when I was with my ex I kept fighting for my ex while he didn't really appreciate me. My ex didn't know if he wanted me or not and I kept on sticking around and waiting for him to love me again. My bf and I were talking about my past today and I said I felt used by my ex, and I was really upset I had wasted time on him. But my bf got really upset. He doesn't respect that I kept trying with someone who was using me. He says I am worth so much and should have realised my worth.

 

I feel my bf shouldn't be unsure of his feelings just because of what I did in the past? Who I am in the past isn't who I am anymore. Yes maybe I didn't have good morals back then but is it so important now? I have been loyal and absolutely trying my best in my relationship with my partner.

 

My bf says to wait a day, he is just upset and depressed today and will love me tomorrow?

 

Also, please know he is RELIGIOUS and this really affects what he wants in our relationship. He said he wants someone who has dignity. He actually wasn't ok with the fact that I'm not a virgin too, but he is accepting that much more now. But he's really struggling with the thought that I kept trying with someone in the past who was bad. I feel what matters is how I treat him NOW, and he agrees with that but still can't get over my past!

 

What should I do. I feel like this isn't acceptable, but that because he really is amazing otherwise and I love him so much, I don't know what to do

 

I feel really crushed. I just don't know how people can lose their feelings easily like that. Why can't he forgive?

But I feel even if he forgives me tomorrow, I'm so upset that he is doing this in the first place?

Edited May 8, 2017 by rie39

[smackie9]

First off, he has no clue about "life". He has tunnel vision. Time, learning and maturity is the only thing that's going to change his perspective.

 

What to do? ignore his whining, and don't let his words bring you down. Be proud of who you are, where you came from, and the experiences you have gone through. Be confident in yourself, be self assured, and stand up to him. Never ever let a man degrade you because of the things in your past. And TELL HIM that his behavior, and what he said to you IS NOT acceptable. Put his whiny little ass in it's place.

[hippychick3]

First off, he has no clue about "life". He has tunnel vision. Time, learning and maturity is the only thing that's going to change his perspective.

 

What to do? ignore his whining, and don't let his words bring you down. Be proud of who you are, where you came from, and the experiences you have gone through. Be confident in yourself, be self assured, and stand up to him. Never ever let a man degrade you because of the things in your past. And TELL HIM that his behavior, and what he said to you IS NOT acceptable. Put his whiny little ass in it's place.

 

Exactly!

 

Who does this guy think he is?!

[smackie9]

to add......you can tell him "OK I will be that strong person that you say I should be. I'm going to stand up to you and tell you! that what you think of me is UNACCEPTABLE. AND maybe I should dump you for all the crap you have put me through about my past!!"

 

That should fix his little red wagon.....

 

P.S. Love yourself more, and less of him.

[d0nnivain]

Good Christians believe in forgiveness. Even Jesus said "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." If your BF doesn't get that very basic concept, he needs to go back to catechism class.

 

 

Don't let him make you feel like less then you are. A person with dignity knows their own self worth & nobody else can take that away from them.

 

 

Leave your BF alone today because he's having a bad day but tomorrow or when it's convenient thereafter sit him down & explain to him how much his judgmental attitude hurts. Tell him that you know you are a quality person but if he can't see that you are going to find somebody who values you.