I treated him badly but i miss him.

[Lover11]

So I have known this guy for like almost 6 years (started contacting each other on the 3rd year of knowing him:lmao: ). We were in the same school for 3 years.

 

So, the year before he moved, he messaged me saying that he likes me and was asking whether i felt the same way towards him. At that time I was unsure of my feelings towards him. I mean at that time I felt like he was cute because he was always doing things that makes me feel happy, and cheerful he always asks me to help doing even the simplest things at school (which I don't mind helping). At the same time, I don't want to be committed in any relationship which was making me have that 'unsure' feeling. So, I rejected him, which i felt A BIT of regret. (But we still contacted each other, but not that much and it was a bit awkward)

 

To make it more interesting, a few weeks after that, i found out that my friend also likes him. I felt a little jealous but it faded within a few days. ( I didn't tell her that ofcourse) Fyi, she was also close with him. In fact, he always asks her for dating advices.

 

So, years later, i contacted him to say something (I literally don't remember what smh). Suprisingly, it seems like he wanted to continue with the conversation. I was suprised because before that (after he moved), whenever i tried to build a conversation, he wouldn't reply much and sometimes don't reply at all. So I just followed the flow, and contacted him but with guilt (my friend still likes him and i didn't tell her that i contacted him) I liked that he was still so caring like he used to be. But because of the guilt, I treated him badly so that he would stop contacting me. Foolish right? He still didn't stop contacting me. (He said that he still likes me)

 

Few months later, i had the guts to tell my friend about the secret, THANKFULLY she was okay with it. Which made me feel bad beacuse i treated him badly...

 

So i continued contacting him until at one moment, i don't know what has gotten into me, i suddenly got mad at him for nothing and felt like i wanted to stop our friendship. I know, big mistake it's all my fault.

 

Whenever he messaged me i would only reply with like one or two words. I know, I'm so mean. Until one day, i told him that i felt uncomfortable with him messaging me all the time. Which literally made our, friendship stop.

 

My problem is, it has now been 2 months and i am feeling SO regretful and stupid for what i did. I would love to get in contact with him again but i don't have the guts. I mean, he said that he would never love someone else, but what if he did? What if he already moved on? I would love to atleast say hi to him, to get close again with him. Should i or should i not do that? After what i did to him? I would also like to say sorry because of rejecting him, again and again. I miss him, I really do. I just realised that now.

 

Please help. Should i contact him again? :(

[mikeylo]

So I have known this guy for like almost 6 years (started contacting each other on the 3rd year of knowing him:lmao: ). We were in the same school for 3 years.<snip>

 

Please help. Should i contact him again? :(

 

No. There is nothing to be reignited here. Move on. Too much damage.

Edited May 8, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[Zahara]

I don't think you should contact him again. It seems you have set a pattern of rejecting a person when they get close to you. It would be best to figure out why you behave that way or it could be as simple as you not being totally interested in him but rather the attention you miss when he is not around. I don't think you miss him but the attention you get from him/or when nothing else is going on for you.

 

Stop hurting him. Leave him be so that he can move on and you may want to do the same and figure out what your motives have been -- contacting him will likely garner the same reaction you've consistently delivered to him.

Edited May 8, 2017 by Zahara

[harrybrown]

time to let him be and try to work on your future relationship skills.

 

let this ship sail and have your friend contact him and console him.

[KBarletta]

I agree with the other posters that you likely miss not necessarily HIM, but the attention you get from him.

 

The only way I would contact him is if you are actually interested in being in a relationship with him, otherwise it's just going to appear to be breadcrumbs to him and it wouldn't be fair to him. But you have to be honest with yourself first and admit whether you actually want him or just want the attention.

[Kitchen]

I disagree somewhat with others.

 

If you want a relationship with him, then try to reconnect in that sort of way.

 

However, as others have mentioned, if all you miss is the attention, and if all you want is something less than a full blown relationship, don't lead him on.

 

HOWEVER, and this is the part I disagree with others on, it appears you did some jerk things that you now regret - like breaking off a friendship by ignoring and telling him to go away. Feel free to genuinely apologize for that behavior if you do really feel sorry.

 

He's probably hurt in two ways: 1) Because he misses you and 2) Because you pushed him away/rejected/hurt him. At least if you apologize for #2, it may make him feel better. AS LONG as the apology is genuine and you make it clear that you can't offer a relationship.

 

That's just me. I'm actually in a situation like yours (I'm the guy), and I would love for the girl to just reach out and apologize and express regret even though I want no relationship with her anymore. She hurt me and all I want is for her to recognize it.

 

Good luck

[mortensorchid]

You feel bad because you have displaced emotions. I remember one break up I had many years ago (via email, not even a phone call from his cowardly ass, btw) where we said some terrible things to one another. It was brought on by him, he did the ending of it not me, and I felt depressed for weeks afterward. Why? I did nothing wrong. I had displaced emotions - mostly anger - but I didn't know how to feel. You're feeling that now.

 

And, you have to move on as well. What's done is done, you can't change it or fix it.

[Lover11]

I disagree somewhat with others.

 

If you want a relationship with him, then try to reconnect in that sort of way.

 

However, as others have mentioned, if all you miss is the attention, and if all you want is something less than a full blown relationship, don't lead him on.

 

HOWEVER, and this is the part I disagree with others on, it appears you did some jerk things that you now regret - like breaking off a friendship by ignoring and telling him to go away. Feel free to genuinely apologize for that behavior if you do really feel sorry.

 

He's probably hurt in two ways: 1) Because he misses you and 2) Because you pushed him away/rejected/hurt him. At least if you apologize for #2, it may make him feel better. AS LONG as the apology is genuine and you make it clear that you can't offer a relationship.

 

That's just me. I'm actually in a situation like yours (I'm the guy), and I would love for the girl to just reach out and apologize and express regret even though I want no relationship with her anymore. She hurt me and all I want is for her to recognize it.

 

Good luck

 

 

Thanks for your opinion.

 

Yeah, maybe i should apologize for what i did to him. I seriously felt so bad for doing that.

 

Oh, sorry to hear that. I hope things will work out for you too.

[MountainGirl111]

Sincere apologies are nice. Not just apologizing to assuage your guilty conscience. But truthfully, I think you might still have some feelings for him and feel a bit conflicted about it. Maybe you regret you let a good thing slip away? You never know what may happen here. You could rekindle something worthwhile? But, putting your friend back on him? Hmm. That seems a bit odd.

Edited May 9, 2017 by MountainGirl111