rainbow85sparkles Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Hi, guy ive been dating for while says he really likes me but wants to take things slow. Yet he still uses dating site. Tells me he wants me for keeps. We do see each other regular During sex he loses his erection and says if he didnt care about me then wouldnt have any issues with having sex? I dont know what to make of that He says he doesnt me me thinking it just casuel when ut not he says. He always touchly feeling ie watch film cuddling But i need advise weather to stick around and take things slow as he says or am i just been used? He has been hurt in past Thank you in advance for any advice shared
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Conversations about exclusivity come before sex. If you are already having sex, then that is not taking things slow. His actions don't match his words. Slow means taking your time & getting to know somebody before jumping in the sack. This guy wants to have sex with you but keep his options open while he's waiting for somebody else to come alone. He is using you. What he's doing is holding back his heart because he does not want to commit to you. If he valued you, he'd be trying to nail you down to a commitment. He isn't because he doesn't care enough to try. Sorry. 2
BaileyB Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 (edited) Hi, guy ive been dating for while says he really likes me but wants to take things slow. Yet he still uses dating site. Tells me he wants me for keeps. During sex he loses his erection and says if he didnt care about me then wouldnt have any issues with having sex? I dont know what to make of that Question - how long have you been dating? If it's new or casual, that's one thing... But, when a guy "wants me for keeps," he needs to take down his dating profiles. And yes, conversations about exclusivity definitely come before sex for me... If you are having sex, you are definitely not taking things slow. His words and his actions, definitely don't line up. He wants to have you and keep his options open. You need to decide if that is ok with you. And no, that doesn't make any sense why he has difficulties unless it's performance anxiety. Edited May 8, 2017 by BaileyB
preraph Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 This is not going anywhere until he gets mental healthcare for his sexual dysfunction. Listen I was in love with and had a strained relationship with a guy who wasn't as up front about it but pretty much had the same problem. Because he thought I was cool and was someone important to me, he couldn't have sex with me. He never would go away though. Meanwhile, once in awhile he would pick up or try to pick up a short drunk real trashy looking bleached blond who wasn't even attractive but was just someone he didn't care if he failed with so he'd attempt sex and I guess if it happened, great and if not, no loss. I didn't understand at the time, so I'm glad yours has at least TOLD you want was going on. Mine had adolescent molestation, he told me 10 years later, after he'd been in therapy, and finally worked through his issue. So he likes you but it does you little good if he is going to avoid intimacy, which he will do if he keeps failing at it. He needs to find out why and work on it. Until then, stay with him only if you really love him as a person and can live without sex.
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