bc72fgbjbc Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 (edited) So there's this girl I met on the internet. We started texting last week. Our conversations have always been kind of flirty but it often happens that it takes her forever to answer (she says it's because she is on her cellphone alot, it's maybe true maybe not I dont know) and she's never willing to call, only text. We met tonight, had a great time. Went on a walk and then went to my house for about an hour (she had a bus to take and it ends at 11pm). We kissed, she even initiated it the first time, after the eye contact. The other times it was me but she didn't look like she was so sure about that but she kissed me anyway. There's just one thing that bugs me. It's the fact that she didn't talk much and rarely looked me in the eyes or initiated touching. Also each time I talked to her about a second date she was like yes it could be a good idea but never looked really sure about that. She asked me to wait her bus with her and we ended the date with a goodbye kiss. I texted an hour later to say I had a good time but I think she is sleeping right now so we'll see tomorrow whats up. Any suggestions on how I should act and what I should say to have a better chance of continuing dating her? Edited May 8, 2017 by Jxabynebk
mortensorchid Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 A suggestion on my part is this : If you are going to text her, text sometime the next day not within hours/minutes of the parting ways. I find that a bit annoying. And I would also suggest to you (or anyone else out there reading this), that if you like the person and want to see them again to CALL them not text. That indicates that you are REALLY INTERESTED in seeing that person again. Texting is a passive way of communication. It's popular, of course, but it's passive. Quite honestly, in my experiences (OLD and otherwise) with texting after a get together is a bad sign. Say I've had an OLD with someone, we meet and have a pleasant evening in a bar/coffee shop/restaurant. If I get a text from him the next day, that means he sort of liked me but he's not that interested. This has been proven to me as I have texted back "Thanks, had a nice time as well." And if he responds to this, which he will about 50% of the time, he will chat about other things and eventually one party will not respond after a few days. And then it's done. Never ONCE has someone said to me via text anything along the lines of "I want to see you again, what's a good time for you?" One day there is just no more contact. Disappointing, to be sure, but that's how it is.
act00 Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 I disagree with the texting advice above. To each his own, but NEVER have I found it presumptuous, needy, or desperate that a guy texts me right away to say he had a nice evening. I always text that I get home, the good ones care, and that I had a wonderful evening and thank-you. I do this when I get home, and I appreciate it when they do the same. If the date was a flop, no, I don't bother with the followup text. If you enjoyed your date, say so immediately (like you did). Waiting a day or so to say something is an afterthought...you're unimportant. To each his own, but 24-48 hours later, "Hey, had fun," would not go over well for me. Wow, Mr. Wonderful, it took you that long decide?? I don't know about this girl. She's either uninterested or painfully shy and unsure. Text her at least one more time regarding seeing her again. If she goes radio-silence, don't bother further. 4
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted May 8, 2017 Author Posted May 8, 2017 [quote= I don't know about this girl. She's either uninterested or painfully shy and unsure. Text her at least one more time regarding seeing her again. If she goes radio-silence, don't bother further. She once talked about a place where we could make a fire and hang out so I asked her if we could go there next weekend and she answered "of course:)" and then I wished her to have a nice day and that I will text her later.
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Any suggestions on how I should act and what I should say to have a better chance of continuing dating her? You had a date where there was lots of kissing, some initiated by her & she even came to your house. That sounds like a promising start. Frankly I can't believe she came to your house; from OLD that was a risky move on her part because she didn't know you from Adam & it could have been dangerous. Don't "act" any way. Be a good guy. Get in touch with her. Set up a new date. Be concrete. None of this do you ah. . .maybe . .. think you . . . um might like to hang out later? garbage. Say Hey, I had fun. Wanna meet up again on Wednesday at [time] at [place]? and go from there
BaileyB Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 I wouldn't say that she is painfully shy if she came to your house and initiated a kiss on the first meeting... That's quite a brave and frankly, risky thing to do. I would be concerned that my date didn't talk much or look me in the eye... Two things that are required when I go on dates... And I agree, a quick text after a date to say "I had a great time, let's do that again..." is always a good plan if you want to see someone again.
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted May 8, 2017 Author Posted May 8, 2017 (edited) You had a date where there was lots of kissing, some initiated by her & she even came to your house. That sounds like a promising start. Frankly I can't believe she came to your house; from OLD that was a risky move on her part because she didn't know you from Adam & it could have been dangerous. Don't "act" any way. Be a good guy. Get in touch with her. Set up a new date. Be concrete. None of this do you ah. . .maybe . .. think you . . . um might like to hang out later? garbage. Say Hey, I had fun. Wanna meet up again on Wednesday at [time] at [place]? and go from there I know that maybe I shouln't complain that much but it kind of bothers me that she showed no clear signs of interest (exept the kisses) and is always taking so long to anwser my texts. It's not something I find normal for a girl that is interested in seeing me. Edited May 8, 2017 by Jxabynebk
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 The fact that she kissed you is a much better & clearer sign then how fast she texts you back. Not everybody is glued to their phone.
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted May 8, 2017 Author Posted May 8, 2017 The fact that she kissed you is a much better & clearer sign then how fast she texts you back I understand but shouldn't I worry with her barely looking me in the eyes and not making a lot of efforts to maintain a conversation by text and in real life?
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 You can fret & worry. You can work yourself up into a lather or you can just ask her out for a 2nd date. You haven't invested that much yet. If she says, yes, great. If she says no, then you are free to pursue other options.
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted May 8, 2017 Author Posted May 8, 2017 or you can just ask her out for a 2nd date. You haven't invested that much yet. If she says, yes, great. That's what I did tho. And she said yes but I still dont know when it will be because she does not always answer my texts and when she does it takes a loong time.
Simple Logic Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 So there's this girl I met on the internet. We started texting last week. Our conversations have always been kind of flirty but it often happens that it takes her forever to answer (she says it's because she is on her cellphone alot, it's maybe true maybe not I dont know) and she's never willing to call, only text. We met tonight, had a great time. Went on a walk and then went to my house for about an hour (she had a bus to take and it ends at 11pm). We kissed, she even initiated it the first time, after the eye contact. The other times it was me but she didn't look like she was so sure about that but she kissed me anyway. There's just one thing that bugs me. It's the fact that she didn't talk much and rarely looked me in the eyes or initiated touching. Also each time I talked to her about a second date she was like yes it could be a good idea but never looked really sure about that. She asked me to wait her bus with her and we ended the date with a goodbye kiss. I texted an hour later to say I had a good time but I think she is sleeping right now so we'll see tomorrow whats up. Any suggestions on how I should act and what I should say to have a better chance of continuing dating her? Going for a walk and to your house is not a date.
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 Going for a walk and to your house is not a date. So what is it? 1
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 So she agreed to see me again and for once we had a real conversation by text. She told me that she thinks I'm going too fast and that we don't know each other enough to kiss (but she did it... 3 times!) and she has difficulty having interest in someone she barely knows. So she never said it's the end she even agreed to see me again, but I'm wondering if I should stop talking to her. It's a hard decision because she really is my type and I think about her a lot but if I continue to invest time it's risky because there's no guarantee she will want more. What are your thoughts about my situation? 1
Titanll Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 So she agreed to see me again and for once we had a real conversation by text. She told me that she thinks I'm going too fast and that we don't know each other enough to kiss (but she did it... 3 times!) and she has difficulty having interest in someone she barely knows. So she never said it's the end she even agreed to see me again, but I'm wondering if I should stop talking to her. It's a hard decision because she really is my type and I think about her a lot but if I continue to invest time it's risky because there's no guarantee she will want more. What are your thoughts about my situation? Can you explain why she thinks that you're going too fast?
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 Can you explain why she thinks that you're going too fast? She wasn't really specific about it, but I guess she was talking about the fact that we kissed the first time we saw each other and that I'm texting her a lot.
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted May 10, 2017 Author Posted May 10, 2017 She finally clarified things today saying that she thinks we don't know each other enough to kiss but she still wants to see me. She also said that if I want something with her we have to start by being friends. We are now planning something for next weekend.
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