Heartbreak2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Hi Everyone! I'm needing some advise as to whether or not I tell my ex girlfriend that I know she's pregnant when she hasn't told me or posted it to social media yet. My lesbian girlfriend left me about 2 and a half months ago after being together 3 years with really no explanation besides that she just wasn't happy anymore. Well, come to find out she's about a month pregnant with some guy she barely knows. I'm still deeply in love with her and would do anything for her. I guess I'm wondering if it's wrong for me to want her to tell me in person that she's pregnant because we had always talked about having a family together and I was going to propose to her in July but as well all know that's not happening anymore. I want to bring it up to her but I also don't want her to get mad at the fact that I found out she's pregnant. I know some my say it's not my business that she's pregnant but after being together for 3 years and then her getting pregnant a little over a month after she left (mind you she was with a woman for 3 years and then leaves and gets pregnant) makes me feel like it is my business. HELP!
MsJayne Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Hmmm, hard one. I'm going to guess that maybe she's bi-sexual or was going through an experimental period in her life and is actually being honest in saying she wasn't happy any more. Possibly she feels a degree of guilt for not being open about wanting to be in a heterosexual relationship, but I would again guess that it's because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Ultimately, yes, being as she ended her relationship with you then her choices aren't really your business, and you say that she would be angry that you know, so that makes me think someone has blabbed and you may be jeopardising another of her friendships by telling her you know, which will just make her angry at both the blabberer and you. I would bide my time and wait to see if she tells you of her own volition, because if you confront her you could well destroy any friendship you have.
PegNosePete Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 I know some my say it's not my business It's not your business. She is your EX. She can do as she pleases. What do you hope to gain by "going public" with the knowledge that she is pregnant? How do you think that will help you, or the child?
Soak Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Yes, i'm afraid to say that if you heard it through the grapevine, it is not really any of your business. If you really want to reach out, it should be a generic 'how are you going'. I'm not 100% sure this a good idea though. I'd just stick to your merry way, and if she contacts you, wait to see if she brings it up. If you found out she's preggas by snooping, naughty you
Chi townD Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 I'll echo Pete. Not your business. If anything, you should feel sorry for her. She is now stuck in a life long commitment with a guy she barely knows. She's going to have to co-parent with someone that is probably a stranger to her. And if this guy is a deadbeat, then she's on her own and life is going to be tough for her. and she might not be ready for any of this. We all make choices in our life. This is a choice she made. Whether it's a good thing for her or not. But, she's stuck with this choice. So, not your problem.
PegNosePete Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 If anything, you should feel sorry for her. She is now stuck in a life long commitment with a guy she barely knows. She's going to have to co-parent with someone that is probably a stranger to her. And if this guy is a deadbeat, then she's on her own and life is going to be tough for her. and she might not be ready for any of this. Absolutely, but my sympathy would be limited to the kid. It was her decisions that led to her situation. The kid had it thrust upon him/her... 1
amaysngrace Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 I hope in time you can be happy for her because that's how we should feel about those we truly love.
LonelyJedi Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Hi Everyone! My lesbian girlfriend left me about 2 and a half months ago after being together 3 years with really no explanation besides that she just wasn't happy anymore. Seems to be the new favorite among dumpers... I agree with the other posters, this is her problem now. But I completely understand how you feel. My ex-fiance left me and said "I haven't been happy the last two weeks" and left. Since then I have heard that she is destroying her life (going out drinking, dropping out of school, acquiring more debt, etc.) It hurts to see someone that you loved so much destroy their lives in such a way, especially with this child now involved. I give you the advice that my family/friends have been telling me: "You dodged a bullet." Take solace in the fact that you don't have to deal with the problems she has to face right now. I understand that you probably want to help her because you love her, but she made the decision to leave. She is now living with the consequences of her decision.
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