Zaman29 Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 I recently met a girl (we're both mid-30's/early 40's) while traveling - sat next to each other on flight home, had great conversation, lots of arm-touching from her, lots in common. As we parted ways, I asked for her number, she gave it, we hugged and she kissed my cheek. This was a Wednesday. Since then: Friday: exchange a few pleasant/humorous texts, I end by saying we should get together sometime. She responds and says "Yes definitely!!" This is the last I've heard from her...9 days ago now. Sunday: I try to call, no answer, leave a message. Wednesday: I text asking if she's free on a specific day for drink/dinner. No response and it's now Sunday (and the day has passed). Did I do something wrong? Texted too soon after calling? I ordinarily would assume she's now not interested, but given the initial connection/encounter and the "Yes definitely" response I'm holding out hope that there's another explanation. I've been out of the dating game for a while...this is the stuff I didn't miss.
Author Zaman29 Posted May 8, 2017 Author Posted May 8, 2017 No you did nothing wrong...... So now what? Just hope she eventually gets back in contact? Or should I reach out again at some point? I really want to but trying not to come across as needy etc.
act00 Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 You did nothing wrong. You've reached out twice with no response. Don't contact her again. Maybe she'll contact you at some point, but after the "big blow-off," why would you want to try with her? Just don't contact her again. 3
Miss Spider Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 I don't think you did anything wrong. She just ghosted. Don't contact her again. You've done all you can do. 1
Author Zaman29 Posted May 8, 2017 Author Posted May 8, 2017 I suppose you all are right. Very frustrating though, I mean why are people so afraid to just communicate?? I can take knowing she's no longer interested just hate the ghosting. 1
mortensorchid Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 You did nothing wrong, she's just not interested and ghosted. You're done, move on. 1
Titanll Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 You did everything right. Just wait it out. She could be busy. Sort of been down this road before and it turned out she was crazy busy and we ended up dating for a bit. Just don't get too invested at this point. But again, you did everything right.
hercules22 Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 classic ghost good thing u never ended up meeting each other . very easy to move on from . sucks when someone ghosts and u been talking for a while though 1
Sara1989 Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Well I think you did do something wrong! From what you said, it seemed you left it TWO DAYS to try and suggest an actual time/date for the meet. When she said yes, you do not wait to ask her what day she is free..you go for it straight away. If a man had done what you did, I be thinking I was just an back up option in case the girl he really liked turned him down. 5
kendahke Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Friday: exchange a few pleasant/humorous texts, I end by saying we should get together sometime. She responds and says "Yes definitely!!" This is the last I've heard from her...9 days ago now. You didn't close this. When she said "yes definitely", that should have been immediately followed by "How about (day) at (time) at (location)?" That's definite. "Get together sometime" is nebulous at best and chances are, you aren't the only man chatting with her or wanting her attention. 3
Author Zaman29 Posted May 8, 2017 Author Posted May 8, 2017 You didn't close this. When she said "yes definitely", that should have been immediately followed by "How about (day) at (time) at (location)?" That's definite. "Get together sometime" is nebulous at best and chances are, you aren't the only man chatting with her or wanting her attention. Interesting perspective, I did think about that. One thing to clarify though, she didn't immediately respond with that "yes definitely", it was the next day (Saturday). I then called the next day.
kendahke Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Interesting perspective, I did think about that. One thing to clarify though, she didn't immediately respond with that "yes definitely", it was the next day (Saturday). I then called the next day. Doesn't matter when it happened. When it happens, you have to be ready to pin down the details on the spot. Figure out a great place to go where the food's good, you don't need a reservation and it's centrally located and safe (for her since she'll be driving/commuting to meet you). That way you can say "great! Let's make it 7p this Friday at Astounding Noms. I'll meet you in front and we'll go in together and have a great time". Then text her the address and phone number to the place. She can put it into her gps and look at it on google maps to see where it is and where the parking is. Then follow through on Friday at 7p at Astounding Noms (or whatever the name of the place is)
Author Zaman29 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 Ideally yes you're right. But she responded the next day when I was out of town (which she knew) tending to family matters. Just seems like a silly reason to be ghosted.
kendahke Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 Ideally yes you're right. But But nothing. What she does when the ball is in her court is on her, not you. You closed with details. The rest is up to her. If she responds either in the moment or the next day in the affirmative, then it's on. You've done your due diligence. If she never responds, then you know to block her and move on.
OnlyHonesty Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 You did do something wrong, you contacted her again after no response. Think about it. If you contact a woman and she does not respond the first time, what will contacting her again communicate? It won't do anything and it is a waste of time. Men need to stop doing this. My time is precious, and so am I. If I contact someone and they don't feel the same, then I certainly won't be begging them to. Contacting them a second time amounts to low level begging. Don't do it. You did your bit, it's up to her to respond.
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