nmac Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Hello All, I was in a relationship with a man for almost 3 yrs. We got together after his nasty divorce from a crazy woman and he has custody of his amazing kids whom I love very much. Told him I did not think it was a good idea coming off a divorce to get into a serious relationship but he continued to persue me hard and we fell in love. Less than a year later he said that I was his soul mate and so lucky to have me and could not wait for the day for me to be his wife. Now two years into the relationship he barely speaks of marriage and I questioned him about it and he says he is not ready and does not want to get married right now and is not sure why or when he will want to. Says can we just live together and see how things work. I was crushed. I have a 10 yr old daughter and I would never move in with a boyfriend, uproot my daughters life on a half ass commitment situation. I am also divorced but I still believe marriage can work and be alot of work but a beautiful thing in life. I am going to be 42 and he 41. I just spent almost 3 yrs of my life loving this man now I dont feel like I even know who he is. This new tune is throwing me off bad so I left him because I feel deceived. What can I do to free myself from the depression of this all. I feel like I wasn't enough. Please any advice you can give would help.
springy Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Sorry you are going through this. At almost 42 years old you know the drill...time, time and more time AND distance from him to get over it. Your intuition was sounding the alarm from the beginning - but this man on the rebound swept you off your feet. Freshly divorced from a 'crazy' ex = pump the brakes. He needed to go sit down somewhere. I'm sorry you got wrapped up in it all, but for many it takes years to recover from divorce. He wasn't ready. He may never be. He may have thought he wanted to get married again in the beginning; hopefully he wasn't just giving you lip service in order to keep you around...you may never know but you did the right thing. Did he protest your decision at all?
Maldives Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 Hello All, I was in a relationship with a man for almost 3 yrs. We got together after his nasty divorce from a crazy woman and he has custody of his amazing kids whom I love very much. Told him I did not think it was a good idea coming off a divorce to get into a serious relationship but he continued to persue me hard and we fell in love. Less than a year later he said that I was his soul mate and so lucky to have me and could not wait for the day for me to be his wife. Now two years into the relationship he barely speaks of marriage and I questioned him about it and he says he is not ready and does not want to get married right now and is not sure why or when he will want to. Says can we just live together and see how things work. I was crushed. I have a 10 yr old daughter and I would never move in with a boyfriend, uproot my daughters life on a half ass commitment situation. I am also divorced but I still believe marriage can work and be alot of work but a beautiful thing in life. I am going to be 42 and he 41. I just spent almost 3 yrs of my life loving this man now I dont feel like I even know who he is. This new tune is throwing me off bad so I left him because I feel deceived. What can I do to free myself from the depression of this all. I feel like I wasn't enough. Please any advice you can give would help. What's the big deal marriage is just a peice of paper ur still commuted u4 living together gee take a deep breath and relax
Author nmac Posted May 8, 2017 Author Posted May 8, 2017 Sorry you are going through this. At almost 42 years old you know the drill...time, time and more time AND distance from him to get over it. Your intuition was sounding the alarm from the beginning - but this man on the rebound swept you off your feet. Freshly divorced from a 'crazy' ex = pump the brakes. He needed to go sit down somewhere. I'm sorry you got wrapped up in it all, but for many it takes years to recover from divorce. He wasn't ready. He may never be. He may have thought he wanted to get married again in the beginning; hopefully he wasn't just giving you lip service in order to keep you around...you may never know but you did the right thing. Did he protest your decision at all? Yes he said that he puts me and marriage seperately. That he loves me and he is sorry that he told me different in the beginning. That me and my daughter can move in with him and his kids and "see how things go" and maybe one day he will change his mind on how he sees marriage. He said he wasn't honest with me about it sooner because he knew i would be hurt and he would lose me. Me and my daughter on not crash test dummies. I will not uproot her and make her see and feel what it is like to be a family, have sibling on some crash test dummy family life. 1
springy Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 Yes he said that he puts me and marriage separately. That he loves me and he is sorry that he told me different in the beginning. That me and my daughter can move in with him and his kids and "see how things go" and maybe one day he will change his mind on how he sees marriage. He said he wasn't honest with me about it sooner because he knew i would be hurt and he would lose me. Me and my daughter on not crash test dummies. I will not uproot her and make her see and feel what it is like to be a family, have sibling on some crash test dummy family life. Well what a great guy. Let me say what I need to keep you around to help me get through my pain. You did the right thing by yourself and your daughter and in time you will feel better. You want marriage and there is nothing wrong with that. He is just not the guy for you. I'm sorry this happened to you.
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