LolitaLove Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I'm on dating sites and I get these phrases a lot. "You look like a handful". "You look like trouble". "Hello trouble".... etc. What do they even mean? Or the majority of messages I get start with "I hope you don't mind me messaging" (well that's the point of being on a dating site...) "im not hitting on you don't worry I just wanted to say that you are stunning". Why are they not 'hitting on me'? That's why I'm on a site! Do they not fancy me? But if they don't fancy me why message me? I don't get it! Please help xx
elaine567 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I'm on dating sites and I get these phrases a lot. "You look like a handful". "You look like trouble". "Hello trouble".... etc. What do they even mean? Why are you calling yourself Lolita? Lolita - a young girl who has a very sexual appearance or behaves in a very sexual way I guess you are probably very young and presenting an over sexualised image of yourself, hence "trouble". 9
GemmaUK Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 They seem like pretty standard messages to me - both are the type I get anytime I have used OLD. The trouble part was explained by several guys from how I looked that they figured I was high maintenance and would likely take hours to get ready! Lol! I also found the 'hope you don't mind me messaging you ones quite odd - never really understood that on a dating site - messaging is what it's for after all. None of my pics have ever been the least bit sexual and I never even joined up to OLD until my late 30's though. 1
hercules22 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 its just a saying to get a girl to bite and get some response to start a convo i guess lol 2
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Do you use the same screen name on those sites? You do realize that Lolita is the name of the 12 year old girl who was essentially raped by her step father in a novel by the same name in the 1950s? In the modern sense Lolita is a sexual promiscuous woman. So if you are putting that out there -- you are essentially advertising that you are open for a awful lot sexually. Hence these men are following up your lead & trying to assess up front just how dangerous you are but they are expressing a desire to play with trouble. 6
mikeylo Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 They have a standard way of approaching to every woman that they believe can fall in the trap. It has nothing to do with you personally. 3
NTV Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Wow.... lol. So are you trouble? Just kidding! Why not ask one of them? Also, yes, if you get that saying or high maintenance often then you probably look like you're advertising too much. I don't know why so many women think they're gonna catch the best dudes on old with a glamor shot photo. The most attractive ones are the down-to-earth ones. If I see you have gucci and prada and all that stuff, then I assume three things: high maintenance, materialistic, and lack of real personality. Not stupid but superficial. Doesn't mean that I wouldn't reach out for a date... everyone has an itch that needs scratched sometimes. But the women that I like the best have depth that exceeds a desire to go shopping. Art, music, whatever. So maybe your dating profile is too flat?
coolheadal Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I'm on dating sites and I get these phrases a lot. "You look like a handful". "You look like trouble". "Hello trouble".... etc. What do they even mean? Or the majority of messages I get start with "I hope you don't mind me messaging" (well that's the point of being on a dating site...) "im not hitting on you don't worry I just wanted to say that you are stunning". Why are they not 'hitting on me'? That's why I'm on a site! Do they not fancy me? But if they don't fancy me why message me? I don't get it! Please help xx How do you come across to men in your photos is the reason why you are getting these type of replies. Do you stand straight or to you pose sexy. Are you posing a nice or not so nice like a hot toddy. If you make the men thing you are too good to be true then they will say those phrases to you. You are what you want to be and not the true self you could be. What do you want to be the hottest women around or are you looking for casual sex or quick time. You have to think what you want to be online. Normal woman wouldn't even have this sort of trouble. How you were your clothes will say a lot. I am just telling you from my own experiences and what other guys would tell me. If you say your shy but you look so hot you could have any guy on here then that's another story. You need to to deal with your self worth first.
preraph Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 If you don't want to keep getting these type of comments, change your user name to something else not promiscuous infused and if there's a profile, change whatever is on it that's giving them that idea and change your photos to nonsuggestive ones. Or else you're only going to attract salivating dirty old men.
johngalt1149 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Why not give some real thought to your profile for those that do read it and explain what you really are and dispelling that illusion if it bothers you? Put some time into explaining what you want, staying away from the high maintenance ideas or overtly sexual or sensual, unless that's what you want to convey.
Popsicle Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Just say, "I don't know. I'm more concerned about if you fit into MY ideal." 1
Popsicle Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I'm on dating sites and I get these phrases a lot. "You look like a handful". "You look like trouble". "Hello trouble".... etc. What do they even mean? Or the majority of messages I get start with "I hope you don't mind me messaging" (well that's the point of being on a dating site...) "im not hitting on you don't worry I just wanted to say that you are stunning". Why are they not 'hitting on me'? That's why I'm on a site! Do they not fancy me? But if they don't fancy me why message me? I don't get it! Please help xx My take is that they are intimidated/scared and are testing the waters to see if maybe you'll hit on them instead.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I'm on dating sites and I get these phrases a lot. "You look like a handful". "You look like trouble". "Hello trouble".... etc. What do they even mean? Or the majority of messages I get start with "I hope you don't mind me messaging" (well that's the point of being on a dating site...) "im not hitting on you don't worry I just wanted to say that you are stunning". Why are they not 'hitting on me'? That's why I'm on a site! Do they not fancy me? But if they don't fancy me why message me? I don't get it! Please help xx As others have eluded to, it may very well be your provocative appearance. Your name LolitaLove is tells me something. Do you strive to garner attention to your appearance or sexuality? Contrary to some beliefs, the way you dress, appear, encourages less-than-decent-men to objectify you. What and how you carry yourself will get you predictable responses from men/boys. I hate to say it, but if you don't 'look' like you want a serious, monogamous relationship, the guys won't likely oblige either.
johngalt1149 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Sometimes it is just a request to the guardian of the velvet rope and courtesy of someone that might not be an aggressive type too....different approaches work for some people. It's hard to stand in line sometime too and not know what the price of admission is.
Popsicle Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 What's sad is that Lolita used to be legitimate name, but the book/movie ruined that name. Now no one will name their kid Lolita anymore. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 It means they think you're hot. Agreed, but also connotes insecurity, uncertainty, trouble/conflict, untrustworthiness, etc. It would be easy to compliment one's attractiveness w/o injecting words like 'trouble', 'handful'... 1
stillafool Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Lolita why didn't you ask the guys what they meant instead of people on a forum. They would have the answer to your question. 1
GemmaUK Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Lolita why didn't you ask the guys what they meant instead of people on a forum. They would have the answer to your question. Yeah, that's the best thing to do - when I asked it always without fail came down to my hair - they figured it took hours of styling (which therefore made me high 'maintenance' or 'trouble') - funnily enough I do nothing with it and just let it air dry. The word 'trouble' is also just often used as affectionate banter.
johngalt1149 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Sorry to interrupt you but (lol) come on the book was written 65 years ago and sensationalized by Kubrick 7 years later. Who cares what her handle is? She can explain to anyone interested enough to talk courteously.
amaysngrace Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Agreed, but also connotes insecurity, uncertainty, trouble/conflict, untrustworthiness, etc. It would be easy to compliment one's attractiveness w/o injecting words like 'trouble', 'handful'... Handful and trouble aren't the same at all. A handful means high maintenance but trouble means wanting to do naughty things in a playful way. I think mostly it means that they're in trouble because they're gonna fall hard for her and they know it.
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Sorry to interrupt you but (lol) come on the book was written 65 years ago and sensationalized by Kubrick 7 years later. Who cares what her handle is? She can explain to anyone interested enough to talk courteously. Your screen name is also based on a book & it causes a reaction. If she honestly doesn't understand why a screen name like Lolita is causing men to view her as sexual, somebody needs to explain it to her.
Miss Spider Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 It's a common pickup line on dating sites. I'd think nothing of it
Versacehottie Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 They have a standard way of approaching to every woman that they believe can fall in the trap. It has nothing to do with you personally. Yes, I agree. It also means they are saying (prematurely) that they could fall under your spell (as a line, not reality based) meaning they like your looks. It's a lame line to get the conversation started. It also can be somewhat of a test: so you will live up to the "trouble" standard. And to possibly to open the door to more sexualized conversation. Lastly it could refer to how suggestive your pics are. Needless to say out of context (i.e. without accompanying behavior & comments) it's hard to tell where they are going to take that statement & it's based on not really knowing you anyway. Make sure if someone says something like that that you hold to your standard, which may mean blowing it off as a vague, meaningless line & misstep. Or asking them further to define--that usually brings the convo in a not so great direction though. Show don't tell. Good luck
act00 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I have never had anyone tell me I "look like trouble," so I question what you are presenting in your photos and/or your profile description. Trouble as in "bad girl" or trouble as in "high maintenance?" I don't know. I also scratch my head when men write, "I hope you don't mind me writing you" because I'm thinking, I'm on OLD, that's kind of the point. I think they just want to be chivalrous and polite, as if they were meeting a stranger in person...except it's a dating site, so permission is already there when you create a profile, and messaging is the whole point.
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