Confushious Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Hello everyone. I have been single now for 5 months. I have heard so many people tell me now is the time I will rediscover myself. What does that mean? I think I already know who I am and the things I like and don't like. Im a 40yr old mom of a 14 year old daughter. So my question is what does that statement mean to you? I left my boyfriend after being with him for 8 years. it hurts like hell, and I am a little lost rite now cause sometimes I don't know what to do since I walked out of his life and the house we shared together and now live with my mother. I don't feel like I will rediscover anything until after I get back up on my feet and have my own place to live again. Any thoughts on this would be very insightful. Any shared experiences would be good to hear or read too. I know circumstances have changed and I will change as well but I don't know how to rediscover myself? Is it just going to happen in due time or will I change and not even realize it. I don't know I feel like I should be doing more than what I am? Confused and need guidance.....
amaysngrace Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I think when we're in a bad relationship we adjust to the relationship by changing bits and pieces of who we authentically are. I'm not even sure that we're aware of the changes as they occur because they're so minor but over time they can really add up. Eight years is a LONG time too. I think when someone says for you to rediscover yourself they mean just getting back to your authentic self which is you without all the damage life has thrown at you. Enjoy this time living at home with your Mom. It will probably end up being more valuable than you even realize. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 At 40 with the responsibilities of a teenager you aren't going to turn into a new person but you might take on a new hobby or do something else that's just for you. 1
preraph Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Well, I guess whether that statement is true (rediscover yourself) depends on what you gave up to be a wife and mother, or if you feel you gave up nothing. Many women totally lose their identities when they become a mother and place themself and their interests and passions and needs on the backburner and live for and through their children. To me, this isn't healthy, but one only has so much energy. Rediscover yourself means getting back to being who you were before husband and kids. But maybe that's now for you. Maybe you feel your identity is stronger and more defined now as a mother and that losing a husband doesn't take a piece out of you. At any rate, it sounds like whoever is saying that is hoping you will devote time to taking care of yourself and doing things for yourself. Good luck. 1
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