Dusty13 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 (edited) First thread here, I started dating this girl my sophomore year of high school, and it lasted for over three years without any breakups and minimal fights. We always had an amazing relationship and connection since we first met each other prior to that, then it just took off. My family loves her and hers love mine. I knew at 15 years old she was going to be the girl I married and she always felt the same about me, we both had the options of many other partners but were never interested, and jealousy was never an issue at all with us like many other young couples. I started working a ton during the end of my first semester of college and we didn't get to see each other too often and we kind of started just going through the motions. We got into a little argument about two months ago and instead of hashing it out she said she needed some space and that we could still talk, and we have pretty much talked regularly for the last two months. We have gone to mlb opening day, hiking, and hanging at each others houses and the fair together. We are so close and comfortable around each other everything seems normal, but she just says she needs a break from being in a relationship but still is in love with me and i still make her happy. Every time i bring us up she tells me just to chill and relax like we could always get back together, and she just has too many issues going in her personal life and school stress. It seems kind of like lip service to me or I'm just being negative and worse case scenario. I told her i would get her a promise ring (only because after the fair she told me i am the one who she wants to marry one day) and she told me to save it for her then i went into a week of no contact after that but then hit her up and she said she missed me but i feel like she just knows i am here for her and i also feel like actions speak a million times louder than words. She is a great girl and my best friend so its hard not to talk to her but i feel like she needs to be without me for real to either realize that I'm too much to let go of and lose or that she is okay without me, and if we just continue like this nothing will ever come out of it. Is NC a good idea at this point or should i just hang in there as a friend and trust she wants to be with me eventually? She always says how she wants to text and not be in NC. I really really love this girl btw, she's special to me. Part of feels like we will be okay someday, but also part of me i guess just my insecurity is scared if i go NC ill never hear from her again lmao Edited May 7, 2017 by Dusty13
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 She was a huge part of your life. It's understandable that you can't envision a life without her. You don't have to go NC but put some distance in there. You don't have to make her a priority anymore. She's not your GF. You can still be polite. You can still catch up. But you need to concentrate on your studies & living your life.
Superchicken Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 (edited) Hey Dusty, Problem is you have statistics saying that the relationship has about a 15% chance when carrying over relationships from school to marriage. In "MY" view, I think she's looking at seeing other people. Reason is, that now she's more free (Older, and has freedom of going out), she is discovering other guys that have different personalities, and interests. This peaks a woman's interest, and get her thinking about these guys. She's, actually your both still young, and I really would not be taking the relationship too serious, until you, or anyone really, is at least over 25 for women, and 30 for guys. By this age, you get most of your discos, night clubs, and bars fun out of your system. You start to seek a more fulfilling person to share you life with. Not a 1 hour spit swap.. I wont go on and on how special that relationship is once you find that person, because this forum has thousands of stories of them. But, when one asks for time to think, its time to re evaluate you decision if that person is really the one to love for ever. If she loved you, she would be "Talking" to you about why she needs time, or if she was honest, tell you her feelings have changed. Start to look for some one else, and let her know that. One of two things will happen. 1 - She will get upset, and angry, and ask why, yada yada. That's your best result. You can work it out from there. 2 - My historical view on it, is that she will just say "Its best", "Lets be friends", blah blah (Women's reasoning talk). The sooner the talk, the sooner you can start your pain, and get over her faster. I'm sorry you will go through this, but hey, maybe I'm just wrong. Good luck. Again, you have so many years ahead, and this will be your first life long experience you will be giving others too, when they also have the same crap hit them. Ted Edited May 7, 2017 by Superchicken
Author Dusty13 Posted May 7, 2017 Author Posted May 7, 2017 Thanks Ted, I agree I've tried to have that talk with her so many times because I don't want any hard feelings I just really want to know where she's coming from but every time I try with the intention of moving on she just says I need to chill and that we're gonna get back together she just has to focus on her school and family problems so I get sucked back in but now I'm just gonna distance myself and see how that goes
Author Dusty13 Posted May 7, 2017 Author Posted May 7, 2017 Thanks Ted, I agree I've tried to have that talk with her so many times because I don't want any hard feelings I just really want to know where she's coming from but every time I try with the intention of moving on she just says I need to chill and that we're gonna get back together she just has to focus on her school and family problems so I get sucked back in but now I'm just gonna distance myself and see how that goes it's just so confusing because at her house in her room all or pictures are still hanging all over her wall and pictures of me and it's been two months but I hate hanging onto every word
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