ryan1989 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 All, My GF broke up with me because she said she isn't sure she's in love anymore. We had a few issues we talked about and they can be fixed. One of the major issues is she made out with another guy.... When we talk about moving forward. She says that for one she isn't sure what she wants anymore... Doesn't know how to forgive herself for what she did to me which is why she doesn't think we can go on... She also said thats the one part that scares her... she doesn't think she will ever find someone as good as me again.... If these things are the case... Why can't she try and move forward if i am willing to look passed what she did to me? I want to make things work. just not sure how to go about it. Is she really just confused and needs time and space? Or is it time to just move on? And yes i do love her.
preraph Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 She just knows she still wants more, even though you are probably the best guy she's dated, but she still doesn't feel you are the one and is afraid of course that she will regret her decision. The road not taken... 4
Titanll Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 You sound young. Just chalk it up to experience. Any woman that says she isn't sure means it. Are you willing to deal with the uncertainty? I can tell you from experience, once those words are ever spoken, you will be better off forgetting that person and moving on. 2
Marc878 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 You are burning daylight with this. There are better out there so go find it like she apparently has 1
dumbass2 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 When someone tells you they aren't sure what they want, they are essentially telling you that it's not you. She sounds like she wants to see what else is out there, but knows there is a risk involved. She knows how you feel and you can't force it so best to let her go and try to move on. Don't beg and plead and maybe She'll discover real quick that she did have a good thing with you and will come pleading back to you. Don't count on it but when you move on, that seems to be when they come back. 1
Author ryan1989 Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 She just knows she still wants more, even though you are probably the best guy she's dated, but she still doesn't feel you are the one and is afraid of course that she will regret her decision. The road not taken... You know what sucks the most is we just moved in together 3 months and and during the first month she told me i was the one she wanted to spend forever with... I just feel so broken. I feel like i shouldn't walk away. Yet i feel as though i should. Just yesterday we were taking space to think about things. I am not good with giving space. i am a fix it person and i think i pushed her into just giving up....
Author ryan1989 Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 When someone tells you they aren't sure what they want, they are essentially telling you that it's not you. She sounds like she wants to see what else is out there, but knows there is a risk involved. She knows how you feel and you can't force it so best to let her go and try to move on. Don't beg and plead and maybe She'll discover real quick that she did have a good thing with you and will come pleading back to you. Don't count on it but when you move on, that seems to be when they come back. Thanks man. I know. Im just the type of guy that isn't able to take someone back if i have to move on to get it. you know? I want them to figure it out when I'm still around. I shouldn't need to leave for it to happen 1
dumbass2 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 But you didn't make out and jump into bed with someone else when things got tough. She did it once and she'll probably do it again. You're not pushing her away, she is pushing herself. Don't force it to work. 2
stillafool Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 All, My GF broke up with me because she said she isn't sure she's in love anymore. We had a few issues we talked about and they can be fixed. One of the major issues is she made out with another guy.... When we talk about moving forward. She says that for one she isn't sure what she wants anymore... Doesn't know how to forgive herself for what she did to me which is why she doesn't think we can go on... She also said thats the one part that scares her... she doesn't think she will ever find someone as good as me again.... If these things are the case... Why can't she try and move forward if i am willing to look passed what she did to me? I want to make things work. just not sure how to go about it. Is she really just confused and needs time and space? Or is it time to just move on? And yes i do love her. I'm so sorry and I'm going to say some things that may hurt but I know you want the truth. After kissing that guy he awakened something in her that she doesn't feel from you. She knows you're a good guy that every girl wants but probably doesn't feel the hot passion with you. Of course any girl in love would be kissing your feet for forgiving her and want to continue the relationship; if she were in love. You sound like a great guy and she knows you are that's why it's hard for her to let you go. She's right, she probably will never find another man as great as you. But some lucky girl out there will when you find her. Good luck. 1
Author ryan1989 Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 But you didn't make out and jump into bed with someone else when things got tough. She did it once and she'll probably do it again. You're not pushing her away, she is pushing herself. Don't force it to work. Okay Seems to be the same advice around. Thanks... ****kkk. Empty.... You do all the things they ask.. almost becoming a push over and you completely fall in love and they disappear... I have no idea where to go or what to do in life anymore... I feel lost. FFS I know none of my close family died or no one has a disease and it can always get worse. But **** this..
Author ryan1989 Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 I'm so sorry and I'm going to say some things that may hurt but I know you want the truth. After kissing that guy he awakened something in her that she doesn't feel from you. She knows you're a good guy that every girl wants but probably doesn't feel the hot passion with you. Of course any girl in love would be kissing your feet for forgiving her and want to continue the relationship; if she were in love. You sound like a great guy and she knows you are that's why it's hard for her to let you go. She's right, she probably will never find another man as great as you. But some lucky girl out there will when you find her. Good luck. Thanks. The biggest issue is i work away from home half of every month... I can't even begin to explain how difficult it is to portray the guy that is always there during tough moments. I wasn't able to be there when she questioned my existence in her life. I honestly believe this is the reason we fell apart. If i was there 24/7 like a staple in her life. all might be good. We always had an amazing time together. 1
fromheart Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 All, My GF broke up with me because she said she isn't sure she's in love anymore. We had a few issues we talked about and they can be fixed. One of the major issues is she made out with another guy.... When we talk about moving forward. She says that for one she isn't sure what she wants anymore... Doesn't know how to forgive herself for what she did to me which is why she doesn't think we can go on... She also said thats the one part that scares her... she doesn't think she will ever find someone as good as me again.... If these things are the case... Why can't she try and move forward if i am willing to look passed what she did to me? I want to make things work. just not sure how to go about it. Is she really just confused and needs time and space? Or is it time to just move on? And yes i do love her. Bear in mind that there is probably more to the story than just one kiss with another man, there usually is. She betrays you and says she's unsure about you. Doesn't sound like you love yourself dude, because you're taking this nonsense. The way to make it work is to kick her out of your life and get a better girlfriend. What you can give to this one is the gift of missing you. 1
Author ryan1989 Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 Bear in mind that there is probably more to the story than just one kiss with another man, there usually is. She betrays you and says she's unsure about you. Doesn't sound like you love yourself dude, because you're taking this nonsense. The way to make it work is to kick her out of your life and get a better girlfriend. What you can give to this one is the gift of missing you. There may be more to the story for sure. Who knows. Im just struggling with letting go. I loved this person for a long time... :/ 1
Marc878 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 Okay Seems to be the same advice around. Thanks... ****kkk. Empty.... You do all the things they ask.. almost becoming a push over and you completely fall in love and they disappear... I have no idea where to go or what to do in life anymore... I feel lost. FFS I know none of my close family died or no one has a disease and it can always get worse. But **** this.. A relationship needs to be balanced @ 50/50 if you do too much you can get taken advantage of and lose respect. Do your part and expect them to do theirs. If you chase the move farther away from you. Always!!!! 1
Marc878 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 There may be more to the story for sure. Who knows. Im just struggling with letting go. I loved this person for a long time... :/ There always is. Trust is a big thing. Once it's gone it's hell getting it back unless you just roll over and take it. No worthwhile guy does that
Author ryan1989 Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 A relationship needs to be balanced @ 50/50 if you do too much you can get taken advantage of and lose respect. Do your part and expect them to do theirs. If you chase the move farther away from you. Always!!!! There always is. Trust is a big thing. Once it's gone it's hell getting it back unless you just roll over and take it. No worthwhile guy does that So your saying i should walk from this?
Marc878 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 So your saying i should walk from this? No!!! Run!!!! 1
spiderowl Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I am sorry. It sounds like she knows she wants to find someone else. She has already made out with another guy. It's rubbish I know, but you can't keep someone who isn't willing. Let her go without a fight. She will respect you much more for that. 1
preraph Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 You know what sucks the most is we just moved in together 3 months and and during the first month she told me i was the one she wanted to spend forever with... I just feel so broken. I feel like i shouldn't walk away. Yet i feel as though i should. Just yesterday we were taking space to think about things. I am not good with giving space. i am a fix it person and i think i pushed her into just giving up.... Well, it's hard to not be overly excited and want resolution, but when she wants to "let it ride" and you need resolution, well, that in itself is a personality conflict that could indicate you're not right for the long term. What you have to realize about her thinking you were the one early on is that she didn't know you yet. Now that's not a slam on YOU. What that means is she HOPED you were the guy she has in her head that is the perfect guy for her. Jeez, we all do it. At first we are infatuated and we all hope the new person is the ideal person in our head, and we project that onto them because they're a blank canvas -- but they aren't. Because that ideal person doesn't even exist. That's not anything wrong with you. That's just idealistic young love. Then the longer we spend with someone, the more of who they really are becomes apparent and we realize they're not "the dream." Some people never stop chasing the dream. When you hear young couples who were once "so in love" and one of them starts saying things like "but he/she changed," it's really that it just takes quite a while to get to know the real person and they didn't fit the script just right. All I can tell you is I'm female and once I have an inkling that I've lost that loving feeling, there is no getting it back. I don't know if all women are like that, but sounds like she is ready to get back out there and explore and no reason you should hang around for that just to be her insurance policy. I'm sorry. It's always sad. 1
whatnot Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 The new guy always has the upper hand. Your faults are all too well known. She knows them, she's seen and lived with them. The new guy has no faults yet. She can still idealize, project onto him, a better deal. And who knows. He may very well be. It's a compatibility and timing issue Ryan. It's not about you. It's trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Is it the peg or the whole that's at fault?
stillafool Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Thanks. The biggest issue is i work away from home half of every month... I can't even begin to explain how difficult it is to portray the guy that is always there during tough moments. I wasn't able to be there when she questioned my existence in her life. I honestly believe this is the reason we fell apart. If i was there 24/7 like a staple in her life. all might be good. We always had an amazing time together. None of this would matter to her if she were in love with you. I know it's hard to accept.
bubbaganoosh Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I takes two to make a relationship not one and a half. I'll give her credit for being up front with you about it but you have to understand that 50% of nothing is still nothing no matter how you slice it. You wan it to work and she isn't sure. That should tell you that your setting yourself up for the other shoe to fall. My advice is this. Tell her that if she isn't sure then being with you only makes it worse for you and it's time she has to pull up stakes and leave. With her always around you'll never have any peace of mind. Sooner you do this then the better off you'll be.
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