GF of 8 months has weird FB conversations with random FB dude

[JonathanR]

I’m going to make this rather quick, so not to waste anyone’s time.

 

I’ve been looking into my GF’s Facebook for some weeks now. She left it open once when she was at my place and I’ve been looking ever since. Please don’t comment how bad this is. I know it is. I know I am a bad person for doing this.

 

A conversation today between her and a completely random dude that just added her on Facebook some weeks ago:

 

Girl is bold.

Guy is regular. For better overview.

 

Guy: Hi!

Girl: Hey, what’s up?

Guy: How’s it going?

Girl: very good, and you?

Guy: I’m great. Settling in very good into this new town. Great job, good people but just no girlfriend yet.

Girl: You will get a GF too, don’t worry. ;-) You seem very handsome. :-)

Guy: Thanks. :-)

Girl: No problem.

Guy: And I see from FB you have a boyfriend. All is good?

Girl: Yes, all is good. I am not in love but he is a great guy and treats me very well. Such people are very very rare.

Guy: Love is not everything. If you get along well, have great conversations, great sex, friendship, all is well.

Girl: Well… yeah. I have given up on love I guess. I’m fine skipping that part if all others are ok. Or I’ve only loved the wrong people.

Girl: But let’s not talk about this….what are you doing this lovely day?

Guy: Not much, you?

Girl: Going to the gym, then resting a bit, then I will meet my boyfriend.

Guy: Seems like you have everything then. ;-)

Girl: Well…. I don’t know… :-p :-p

Guy: Why, what are you missing? Sport, boyfriend, nice evening... What else do you need? :-)

Girl: Ah.. nothing :-p it’s stupid… :-p it’s nothing :-p

Guy: Now you will have to tell me.

Girl: No.. :-p no, nothing, just forget it… :-p

Guy: Well, now you really do have to tell me no matter how stupid it is. :-p I won’t judge.

Girl: Well, I was thinking maybe once we could also talk face to face and not just over the internet. But I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea. :-/

Guy: I don’t know what to say. You said you had a boyfriend and everything is going good, I really do not want to get between anything. I don’t think it’s appropriate.

Guy: And I don’t have a GF for a long time now and I’m very horny, so not a good idea. :-)

Girl: That’s why I said it’s stupid. :-) But just because I have a BF doesn’t mean I can’t make new friends. You also meet new people at your workplace all the time, so it’s almost the same, nothing wrong with that.

Guy: But what if we have too many drinks? :-p

Girl: We’ll only drink juice then. :-))))

Guy: Ohhhhh :-((((

Girl: What? :-p

Guy: Like I said above :-P

Girl: You are horny? :-)) Uhhhhhh :-p When was the last time? :-p

Guy: Long time ago :-p

Girl: Well, I’m not afraid. ;-) :-p

Guy: But yeah, nothing wrong with making new friends. :-) And you seem very sympathetic to me. So we should revising this topic soon. :-)

Girl: The sympathy goes both ways. :-)

Guy: Great, lets talk later then.

 

--The end.—

 

As I see it, there can be only two conclusions:

 

1. I’m completely paranoid and nothing whatsoever happened there and she’s really just making friends. I’m a terrible person to read her FB.

2. Well, the opposite of the above, really. You know very well what I mean. I’m still a terrible person for reading her FB.

 

Info about the girl and me: Together 8 months. Introduced me to her parents several times. Constant talks about moving together, serious stuff, etc.

 

What’s your take on this? What should I do?

 

Also, they maybe talked 1-2 times before, all just random stuff, like the dude moving into this town bla bla... he added her like 2-3 weeks ago on Facebook completely by random. Probably GF hunting (he even hints to that in the messages I posted.). Props to him though for saying it's not appropriate for them to meet, but obviously not stupid to refuse when girl insists even after he mentions that.

Edited May 6, 2017 by JonathanR

[Titanll]

Seems normal and harmless to me...good luck with your next girlfriend.

[Miss Spider]

Are you serious, op?

Edited May 6, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[preraph]

I think she's open to meeting a new guy. I'm sorry.

[doyathinkso]

You and this girl are not going to go the distance.

 

Do yourself a favour and walk away before you waste any more time on her. Life is too short to spend it on trifles.

[Titanll]

This is just him testing the waters. Same reason he mentions that he hasn't gotten laid in a while, that sort of thing. He is just getting her to open up to him, and lining your girl up as an easy lay. She is acting like one. She is preparing to cheat on you with this guy. It is possible there have been others like him.

 

Spot on...I'm a guy and I can see his tactics clearly. And yes, she's stupid easy OP. She's monkey branching...or at the very least, open to messing around on you. May not be the first time in eight months either.

[smackie9]

She is totally hinting at starting something to this guy....she is feeling him out to see the potential....you are pretty dumb not to see that. She is fishing to see what she can catch.....I agree 100% she IS monkey branching. Dump her pleaassssssse.

[hercules22]

i wouldnt of even made a post would just dumped her straight away

[Marc878]

She's fishing.

 

OP you are trying hard not to see this. Why?

 

Most of the time it's a form of denial because the truth is too hard to take.

 

Look, it's better to move on before she hits you with a 2x4 upside the head.

 

Make no mistake that's coming

 

Talk is worthless just let her go.

[OnlyHonesty]

If that was my gf, she'd already be dumped. There is no need for any discussions or any more details.

 

If you do not stop seeing her, you will regret it. It's as simple as that. But something tells me you will rationalize all of this away, convince yourself that she was just trying to make friends, and convince yourself that it was your fault for looking.

 

This is what she is trying to do. She wants to keep you as her back up plan / security blanket. Search for something better, test the waters with new guys and make sure you are still around just in case the new pastures aren't green enough. She will eventually begin sexting and having phone sex with some guys, they will meet up for ''friendly'' coffees and if you found out, she'd label you as jealous and insecure.

 

Eventually she will sleep with one or two of the guys and will leave you for any that offer her the security.

 

You have 2 options

 

1) Ditch her.

2) Ditch her.

[usa1ah]

She is telling another guy that you are a good guy but she does not love you.

 

While talking to you about moving in with each other and the future.

 

Not rocket science man. Leave her, just say that she is wanting to move forward in the relationship and that you are not feeling it.

[GoldenAxe]

Man idk how you haven't confronted her yet, she would be gone as soon as I read that.

[Teknoe]

In the words of Bray Wyatt... "RUN."

 

I'd confront her and break up with her. Up to you whether you want to mention the FB thing or not. Normally I'm not for peeping but in your case you caught your GF with her hand in the cookie jar and I think that's to your benefit.

[Sparta]

First off stop apologizing for reading her Facebook text ***** dude you got lucky, she's a little tramp and you can chalk that up to someone out there is looking after you. Don't even tell her about discovering her texts. I would break up with her and tell her that she needs to learn to be content for what she has and not to be sneaking around like a little cheating tramp that she is...

[todreaminblue]

she is quite disrespectful to you and your relationship given the opportunity this woman will cheat she isnt happy with you....sorry op.......deb

[kendahke]

Providing this is verbatim what was said and no embellishing on your part (because it's not a screen shot), it would appear that she doesn't love you.

 

You need to let her go. If she's not inspired to be feeling it by now, she's not going to feel it.

 

They both were fishing here, not just her. They both were keeping each other at arm's length, too. But it's clear that after 8 months with you, she's not moved to deeper feelings with you.

[Purepony]

This guys good !

Your gf is a Hornier than this guy.... get out don't even explain yourself just disappear !