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I got rejected :/

Josh123

By Josh123
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Josh123 New Member

Josh123

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Well... I guess it's my fault for telling her I like her when the only thing she knows about me is my name :/ She then unfollowed me on instagram.

I've been told that I am good looking by multiple people (not just my family) so i guess it was all a lie.

 

I am a freshman in highschool

 

What can I do about this :/

 

Also, where can I get experience, because literally every girl I talk to, I mess up. I'm either not confident enough when I speak and f*** up. Do I just go around to random girls and introduce myself?

avvril3000 Established Member

avvril3000

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It's odd that you say that you're told you're good looking... but you guess "it's all a lie". can't you look in the mirror and decide for yourself ? Do YOU think you're good looking.

 

Dude, you're a freshman in high school. Teenagers are weird and awkward and have loads of issues going on. the girls you talk to, might be shy, might it be ready for boys yet, might be battling their own self confidence issues. It's migrant be able you. Calm down a bit... enjoy meeting people and friends and having fun and don't get hung up on getting a gf quite yet. You have plenty of time.

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Josh123 New Member

Josh123

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It's odd that you say that you're told you're good looking... but you guess "it's all a lie". can't you look in the mirror and decide for yourself ? Do YOU think you're good looking.

 

Dude, you're a freshman in high school. Teenagers are weird and awkward and have loads of issues going on. the girls you talk to, might be shy, might it be ready for boys yet, might be battling their own self confidence issues. It's migrant be able you. Calm down a bit... enjoy meeting people and friends and having fun and don't get hung up on getting a gf quite yet. You have plenty of time.

 

Alright thanks man. ig i wont try to go for one just yet... but do you know where I can practice

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Josh do you have a circle of friends? What are the activities you do to socialize?

preraph Established Member

preraph

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There's an easier way to go about it, and that is to not just target the girls you like but to be open and friendly and talk with everyone. If women see you standing around talking and laughing with friends, men and women, they will view you as approachable and if one is interested, she won't hesitate to join in the discussion. It's a much more organic way to meet people. Cold approaches just don't usually work, but just being open and nodding as you pass people or smiling and saying hi will quickly expand your friend network and through friends you meet their friends and that's how you meet women.

 

Also, look for any opportunity to comment on something. Say for example someone is wearing a team cap or whatever, use that as an excuse to comment to someone new for the first time, saying you like the team or their hat. Maybe you see a girl carrying a math workbook. You could point to it and say, Hey, do you have Mr. Brown for math? That guy cracks me up." Or you're just in the hall walking and a girl happens to be next to you, just comment on how crowded the hall is, does she have far to go, etc.

 

It's not hard, but you have to just get used to doing it.

  • Like 1
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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You miss every shot you don't take. So good for you for trying.

 

 

She's one girl. You probably are good looking but that is not all there is to life & relationships.

 

 

The advice you read on these boards about jumping in & asking a girl out, to avoid getting friend-zoned doesn't apply exactly to high school. When you are younger, boys & girls need to take a bit of time to get to know the other person before things get romantic. If all she knew was your name & then you immediately suggested a date, a kiss or going out, you probably moved too fast which was off putting.

 

 

In the future have a few conversations with someone before moving further.

  • Like 3
BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Sadly, dating is more about rejection sometimes than success... Try not to take it too hard. There will be another girl, and hopefully things will go better next time.

 

You do miss all the shots you don't take... You took a shot and it didn't work out this time... But, good for you for taking the risk!

 

Totally agree with the advice to take more time to make friends and get to know some girls... Just get comfortable being around girls and have some fun together. Then, when you meet someone you really like, ask her out. You have lots of time, and lots of fun ahead of you... Don't be discouraged!

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Josh123 New Member

Josh123

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Josh do you have a circle of friends? What are the activities you do to socialize?

 

Yeah, but they are mainly boy friends. I need more experience I guess before I try to get a girl friend because I always f** up. I think I need to make more friends that are girls.. but that's hard because then they'll think I like them.

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Josh123 New Member

Josh123

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There's an easier way to go about it, and that is to not just target the girls you like but to be open and friendly and talk with everyone. If women see you standing around talking and laughing with friends, men and women, they will view you as approachable and if one is interested, she won't hesitate to join in the discussion. It's a much more organic way to meet people. Cold approaches just don't usually work, but just being open and nodding as you pass people or smiling and saying hi will quickly expand your friend network and through friends you meet their friends and that's how you meet women.

 

Also, look for any opportunity to comment on something. Say for example someone is wearing a team cap or whatever, use that as an excuse to comment to someone new for the first time, saying you like the team or their hat. Maybe you see a girl carrying a math workbook. You could point to it and say, Hey, do you have Mr. Brown for math? That guy cracks me up." Or you're just in the hall walking and a girl happens to be next to you, just comment on how crowded the hall is, does she have far to go, etc.

 

It's not hard, but you have to just get used to doing it.

 

 

Thanks for the advice :)

What are cold approaches

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Josh123 New Member

Josh123

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You miss every shot you don't take. So good for you for trying.

 

 

She's one girl. You probably are good looking but that is not all there is to life & relationships.

 

 

The advice you read on these boards about jumping in & asking a girl out, to avoid getting friend-zoned doesn't apply exactly to high school. When you are younger, boys & girls need to take a bit of time to get to know the other person before things get romantic. If all she knew was your name & then you immediately suggested a date, a kiss or going out, you probably moved too fast which was off putting.

 

 

In the future have a few conversations with someone before moving further.

 

Yeah I guess I was too influenced by this forum haha.

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Josh123 New Member

Josh123

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Sadly, dating is more about rejection sometimes than success... Try not to take it too hard. There will be another girl, and hopefully things will go better next time.

 

You do miss all the shots you don't take... You took a shot and it didn't work out this time... But, good for you for taking the risk!

 

Totally agree with the advice to take more time to make friends and get to know some girls... Just get comfortable being around girls and have some fun together. Then, when you meet someone you really like, ask her out. You have lots of time, and lots of fun ahead of you... Don't be discouraged!

 

Thanks :), and do you have any tips on making friends that are girls?

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Yeah, but they are mainly boy friends. I need more experience I guess before I try to get a girl friend because I always f** up. I think I need to make more friends that are girls.. but that's hard because then they'll think I like them.

Making friends with girls is not your answer.....you and your bros need to go out and hit on girls as a group. Safety in numbers as they say. You just need to do the cold approach, and have a wing man for help. Girls are more impressed with confident men that can go right up to anyone they find attractive and start a convo. If you get brushed off, you bid them a pleasant day, and go onto the next. You can't be awkward or nervous. You can start with girls that don't intimidate you. Even if you are not attracted to them, there is nothing wrong with chatting them up, and you are not obligated to ask them out. You can do that to practice, to build up confidence, know what to say, how to posture, etc.

  • Like 3
CptInsano Established Member

CptInsano

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Making friends with girls is not your answer.....you and your bros need to go out and hit on girls as a group. Safety in numbers as they say. You just need to do the cold approach, and have a wing man for help. Girls are more impressed with confident men that can go right up to anyone they find attractive and start a convo. If you get brushed off, you bid them a pleasant day, and go onto the next. You can't be awkward or nervous. You can start with girls that don't intimidate you. Even if you are not attracted to them, there is nothing wrong with chatting them up, and you are not obligated to ask them out. You can do that to practice, to build up confidence, know what to say, how to posture, etc.

 

Solid advice overall, but I would say that one buddy with you is the perfect setup, meaning that you can engage a girl in conversation, while your friend talks to her friend or her friends. Larger groups can lead to very odd dynamics, in particular when there are more men than women.

 

I don't think chatting with girls you are not really attracted to works well, simply because you are not into them and it shows in your interaction. I would at least talk to girls that simply seem fun to talk to, after all you should enjoy yourself, this is not a chore, but a process that should be enjoyable.

 

Chatting up anybody is fine, and it does build confidence, it is something that you can practice every day. Try to learn to love this human interaction itself and not only as the means to reach a goal, it makes a big difference in how you come across IMHO.

 

What you say doesn't matter nearly as much as you think. In most cases the woman will actively engage in the conversation, and active listening will more than suffice in most circumstances. You will more than likely have to initiate, though.

 

I also agree on the cold approach. I'm not 100% sure it has such a bad reputation, but most of all it opens ways to contact women that are not very outgoing. As long as understand when to call it quits if she really isn't interested, you are on the safe side.

 

And one more thing: You will get rejected a lot in the sense that nothing more will come out of the conversation. But in the majority of cases the woman may still enjoy the time spent, and it just means that there isn't a fit, it's not a rejection of you as a person.

  • Like 3
BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
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Thanks :), and do you have any tips on making friends that are girls?

 

Josh, you are still in high school. Seriously, ask a girl if she wants to study together. Or, talk to the girl next to you in class. Or talk to some girls who join your friends at lunch.

 

I wasn't particularly brave when it came to meeting people at high school. But, it is a great opportunity to just hang out with guys and girls. It just starts with a friendly hello. Find a girl that you think is interesting and pretty. And then, Try to have a conversation with her. Ask the girl some questions about herself and then listen to what she says. Ask her another question. And, if you can, try to make her laugh. A girl will like a guy when she enjoys spending time with him and he can make her laugh.

 

Please don't worry about it too much... everyone has to learn how to make friends and date. I don't know anyone who feels like they were "good" at dating when they were young - or even older for that matter. Developing these skills takes time and practice... its trial and error with lots, and lots, and lots of mistakes that you learn from, along the way...

Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

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This is the thing. You never know unless you try.

 

One thing you should have learned is the world didn't end did it?

 

So what. It's no big deal.

 

The thing is you just get to know them a little. Small talk first. Just try it. Gets easier with practice.

 

You did fine. At least you were bold enough to ask

  • Like 3
preraph Established Member

preraph

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Thanks for the advice :)

What are cold approaches

 

Cold approaches is basically asking a girl out you not really talked to before. It doesn't work usually.

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

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You're a freshman in high school, so you're 14/15. I'm 42, and I've been rejected and mistreated more times than I care to think about at this point. But like another poster said, you will miss 100% of the shots you never take. Without going into details about a particular girl you may have your eye on, remember to tell yourself if and when you are rejected that "(Name) does not deserve me. Someone else will."

 

Of course, if I could tell you where you could find that Someone Else, I would tell you, like I would tell anyone who asked / asks / will ask this question, but I don't have the answer to give you. You have to keep trying different avenues until someday, somehow it happens. And I hope you do. You're just starting in this realm having been out of junior high school. Keep moving forward.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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