FN_Boomin Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Hi guys, Advice would be much appreciated. Background -Ex dumped me about a month ago due to trust issues. I will admit that I played a role in creating those issues, but so did she. -I've maintained No Contact for 2 weeks now. -Miss her a lot. Constantly fight the urge to reach out to her. Still in love with her and want her back. Staying strong during NC. -She sent a text today saying "Living without you is a lot harder than I expected." -Feeling mixed emotions at the text. A part of me wants to respond. Another part of me wants to ignore and stay strong. D -Difficult for me to discern what her true intentions are. Is this a legitmate attempt at reconciling, or is this just a meaningless ego boost tactic for her to see if she still has a grip on me? -It's difficult for me to discern because she is a person with low self esteem (part of what contributed to the break up) and can be manipulative. I can see her doing things out of loneliness without regard for my well being. Questions 1) I want to hold out until she reaches out with clear intent to reconcile, but knowing her, and her pride and low self esteem, I doubt she would take the first, bold step in stating she wants to reconcile. 2) How should I react to this? Ignore or respond? If I respond, what should I say? 3) If I ignore, do I run the risk of losing her if she is truly interested in reconciling? Thanks for your help in advance.
Maldives Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Hi guys, Advice would be much appreciated. Background -Ex dumped me about a month ago due to trust issues. I will admit that I played a role in creating those issues, but so did she. -I've maintained No Contact for 2 weeks now. -Miss her a lot. Constantly fight the urge to reach out to her. Still in love with her and want her back. Staying strong during NC. -She sent a text today saying "Living without you is a lot harder than I expected." -Feeling mixed emotions at the text. A part of me wants to respond. Another part of me wants to ignore and stay strong. D -Difficult for me to discern what her true intentions are. Is this a legitmate attempt at reconciling, or is this just a meaningless ego boost tactic for her to see if she still has a grip on me? -It's difficult for me to discern because she is a person with low self esteem (part of what contributed to the break up) and can be manipulative. I can see her doing things out of loneliness without regard for my well being. Questions 1) I want to hold out until she reaches out with clear intent to reconcile, but knowing her, and her pride and low self esteem, I doubt she would take the first, bold step in stating she wants to reconcile. 2) How should I react to this? Ignore or respond? If I respond, what should I say? 3) If I ignore, do I run the risk of losing her if she is truly interested in reconciling? Thanks for your help in advance. Hey dude... I think wat anybody says on this on here is here say a lot will probably say NC lol. Here's some things to consider and yes I been in this situation many a time sometimes I get it right sometimes I don't. 1) the longer u guys leave it the harder it can get to reconcile having said that her low self esteem that's a concern is she young? The low self esteem she needs to get on top of professional help as i see that being a nail in ur relationship. U are right woman wth low self esteem will most certainly not take ur feelings into consideration as they try and protect themselves. That's an issue u need to think about wether u wanna take the risk wth someone wth that issue. 2) u really need to listen to ur gut the answer is right there and is usually pretty much on the money and right. Ur intuition or gut is something to take into consideration. Getting an opinion on here is great but none of us know u like u know the situation altho u may have rose coloured glasses on lol. 3) I think there's no right or wrong if u respond or not who knows really what's going through her mind it's how u feel is that enough for u to respond or r u that hurt u nend more from her before u respond? U need to ask questions that make u think that prompt a future picture of what that future might look like. That's why councillors are so good they don't give u advice but rather ask u questions smart questions that puts the responsibility not only back to u but they also work around if it really is something that will be good for u. 4) here's some examples does this woman increase my happiness do we have thenough same goals do we always fight do i see a future wth her. Will she do this again. What were the trust issues? Did u cheat etc so we don't hav enough info which I don't think really matters here wat matters is wether reaching back out to her is what u want. Doesn't matter then if u reach out or get knocked back ull get over that then u know clearer where u stand make sense? So if you really want her and it's gonna eat away at u wether u shld response or not think about that. Or do u need more from her before u respond etc. If u do go bac do do something about that low self esteem wth her I kno I've been wth a few woman like that they need alot of assurance and love they can also be like i said looking to protect themselves
Ronnys93 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 I'd ask her if she wants to talk about it. (don't mention anything about reconciling just ask if she wants to talk about it and see how she leads the conversation) If she responds back positively to that, then see where it goes. If not then you know she was just sending you a hook, line, and sinker and you need to just go no contact and move on.
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