Kiwi_Girl Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Around 4 months ago a cute guy joined our department. We have been making a lot of eye contact since day one which would occasionally extend to a smile. Things suddenly changed after we had our first conversation in the kitchen this week, he suddenly changed desks and shifted his monitors in such a way that I can't see him from my desk, he also didn't greet me when I walked past his team yesterday on my way home. I honestly believe my shy nature and not being very talkative during our first conversation made him think that I am not interested, or that he got to see me from up close and no longer find me attractive, but I just wish I knew what was going through his mind at the moment. Why are men so difficult read??
OnlyHonesty Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Just because a guy makes eye contact, it doesn't mean that he wants to escalate it any further. It's possible he sensed you were more serious then he intended so has backed off. However, it could be any number of reasons. I assume you don't have a bf? And I bet you don't know whether he has a gf or not... 1
Author Kiwi_Girl Posted May 5, 2017 Author Posted May 5, 2017 Just because a guy makes eye contact, it doesn't mean that he wants to escalate it any further. It's possible he sensed you were more serious then he intended so has backed off. However, it could be any number of reasons. I assume you don't have a bf? And I bet you don't know whether he has a gf or not... I am not sure if he has a gf or not. He is not on social media...(I know this looks bad). I am single. I honestly think he was interested but now after having our first conversation in the kitchen he might have changed his minds. My replies to his questions was short which prompted to him fill his bottle with water and just leave. It was a bit awkward. Would it be beneficial to muster the courage and ask him on Monday to join me for coffee at the canteen? 1
joseb Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 Making eye contact for four months without talking? As a guy I can't imagine doing that if I was any way interested. How was the conversation? Any reason to think it put him off?
mortensorchid Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 I would not get involved with someone you work with. Nothing but bad can ensue from that, you have no space, you see each other every minute of the workday. Either for friends or bfs. I learned the hard way with that when I had a thing for a coworker a few years ago and made friends with someone else at my first job twenty years ago. Keep your distance from people you work with.
MountainGirl111 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 Best not to get involved with co-workers. Let it go.
OnlyHonesty Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 Making eye contact for four months without talking? As a guy I can't imagine doing that if I was any way interested. How was the conversation? Any reason to think it put him off? Surely sometimes a guy just likes what he sees so looks every time he sees her. There doesn't always have to be a deeper meaning. 1
preraph Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 He doesn't seem interested at all to me. He doesn't even sound like he's prepared to be polite and professional and he is hiding from you. He could be gay or just not interested. But if he were interested, he would not be acting like this, which seems obvious.
smackie9 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 I agree with you OP, I think he feels rejected....he sure is acting that way. Girl you want men clamoring to get to you, you have to be confident, outgoing, and a little assertive. Shyness comes off as unapproachable, hard, unfriendly, snobbish. Better work on that. IMO, don't react to his negative reaction negatively. Step it up, give him quick smiles with a cheeky smirk, eye contact, say hi to him, be friendly....even when he won't respond. That will let him know his behavior won't phase you in the least. That's how you earn respect. This is how I deal with ahole coworkers....if you keep positive, it extinguishes their negative behavior. BTW if that is you in your avatar, you are cute as a button.
Miss Spider Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 The convo in the break room sounds awkward, but I don't think it was bad enough to cause that reaction. It sounds more like a guy who didn't get coworker vibes from that convo and some romantic tension so is trying to set boundaries/make sure he doesn't send the wrong message Wouldn't be surprised if he has an SO And as someone else said, staring and smiles don't mean much.
CptInsano Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 Very few men are actually shy, but a lot of them don't take rejection lightly. Yet I doubt that he felt rejected by an awkward discussion in the break room. He probably really isn't interested for whatever reason.
Recommended Posts