Tuutuu22 Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 I am 19 years old, a freshman in college and will be dating my boyfriend for 3 years in September. I commute to college and often times feel lonely. I have a group of friends but i'm not that close with them, i feel lonely all the time. I stayed home because I got the best scholarship to the college which is five minutes away from my house. My parents don't make much and can't afford to send me where I really wanted to go in regards to airfair. I was a walk on for the lacrosse team (D3) at my school but got kicked off unexpectedly and had horrible experience on the team. I was bullied and made fun of quite often. The whole point in me joining this team was to make friends and branch out knowing I would be hard to make friends being a commuter and also to play the game I love again. Part of me wants to go away to college to get the experience. Part of me is happy because at home I am saving a lot of money and close to the people I love the most. I'm very confused and sad lately. I think i'm becoming depressed and I dont know what to do.
d0nnivain Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Seek out mental health services on campus. Every school has somebody you can talk to. I went to grad school close to home to save money & often felt like I was missing out. I viewed it as my "debt". Instead of paying money after school, You're sacrificing fun now in the short term to be less burdened later. Pick another group to get involved with. You will make friends; just put yourself out there. It's not easy. It takes risk but try.
Telemachus Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Most of your posting is about college, and you provide no link between that and your relationship. You don't indicate that he does, or does not, go to the same college. My advice - you have a super sweet deal - stick with it. Tell those lacrosse goons to click their heels together three times and go f*** themselves. Nobody's life is defined by a bad high school experience or a bad college experience, although it kind of sucks that you're not enjoying college more. It matters not whether you stay with your boyfriend. If you like him, and he's good to you, stick with him. If not, then don't. However, get a degree where you are now, and then get a job or go to professional or graduate school. The best in life happens long after college. You've only lived 1/4 to 1/5 of your life. The best is yet to come. Trust me - at age 55, I know. 2
Author Tuutuu22 Posted May 5, 2017 Author Posted May 5, 2017 He goes to a different college but its close by, he commutes as well. Thank you, your response brought tears to my eyes. My friends from high school all wetn away and make college a big deal and often times make me feel like I'm missing out on something huge. My bestfriend from high school has become very bitter and is changing as a person. She went to Syracuse and complains that "I have to keep up with these rich kids" and "their all snobs" and then will randomly throw digs at me. On break she was complaining about her roomate and in attempt to comfort her I said, "It's ok, you're rooming with ___ next year and it'll be better plus even my friends at school went through ****ty roomates. She said, "Well atleast I'm learning how to live on my own"
kendahke Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 He goes to a different college but its close by, he commutes as well. Thank you, your response brought tears to my eyes. My friends from high school all wetn away and make college a big deal and often times make me feel like I'm missing out on something huge. My bestfriend from high school has become very bitter and is changing as a person. She went to Syracuse and complains that "I have to keep up with these rich kids" and "their all snobs" and then will randomly throw digs at me. On break she was complaining about her roomate and in attempt to comfort her I said, "It's ok, you're rooming with ___ next year and it'll be better plus even my friends at school went through ****ty roomates. She said, "Well atleast I'm learning how to live on my own" Since you're a freshman, look into transferring in your junior year to a larger institution--that way you save money for another year, you have a chance at getting a scholarship or stipend to attend the larger college where you will be able to experience the life you feel you're missing out on. You will be living on your own soon enough for the rest of your life and you will look back and cherish this time you were able to stay home with your family while going to school, so don't be in a rush. Not everyone who attends big schools are mean and snobby. If this snippy reaction you got from your BFF is any indication, it could be a huge reason why she finds herself where she is. Most of the girls I went to college with came from affluent families, but none of them were ever crappy with me--probably because I didn't walk around with a chip on my shoulder for not being in their daddy's tax bracket. In fact, I'm still bff's with my roommate from college and it's been going on 35 years now. 2
Ami1uwant Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 On college.... Going away to college and not living at your parents is the thing with college experience you are misding. If this school is a heavy commuter college then you aren't going to gain much staying at the dorms. If it's a college where most live in the dorms then you should think about living a yr in the college dorms for the experience.
preraph Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 You are lonely and unhappy even though you have a boyfriend and friends, so obviously you need a change. You should always pursue your dreams if your dreams are important to you. Most people do not keep the same bf/gf from high school once they mature a bit. This is a time for exploration and seeing who all and what all is out there. Doesn't mean you can't stay in touch and see how it goes, of course. You're unhappy for no very good reason, so I think you need to make a change. 1
mortensorchid Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 Pursue the dreams, but what exactly are your dreams? I am asking to have a better answer than one based on what you have said. 1
4EverHisPrincess Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 Sometimes the grass isn’t greener on the other side, though it may look like it is especially if you’re feeling lonely. My parents used to tell me to write down the pros and cons to situations that I would like to pursue and if the pros were greater than the cons then consider making a choice, but in everything pray about it. Reaching out and asking for advice is great, but it sounds like you’re in a good place by being close to the people you love the most. Be encouraged to stay positive and know that you’re not alone…big hugs & blessings to you! 1
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