chumly Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 I would love others opinions on something... I was shopping in the supermarket the other day and some man came over to me out of nowhere and started talking to me..he said he thought I was attractive and said this to me several times..it was such a nice compliment to hear and made me feel great about myself since things like that dont happen to me anymore... I am in my late 40s. Anyway, He seemed a bit strange but wanted to go out for coffee with me sometime so i wound up giving him my cell phone #..he seemed really interested in me ..but like I said, he seemed strange but nice at the same time so I figured that maybe he was just nervous and it. I figured it could not hurt to have a conversation or coffee with him plus he is probably not anymore strange then the men I chat with online. I would guess his age to be about 58 or 59...anyway, this happened on Wed night but I have not heard from him since. can you give my your honest opinion on what you think that was all about? I know that this age range is probably beyond most of the people on here so I dont know if the same thought process' would apply. I would have thought that I would have heard from him by now since he seemed so interested but now I am wondering if maybe he changed his mind or was just curious to see if he can get my phone # but was not actually interested??..maybe it was just an ego thing with him just to see if he can get a womans phone # like that?? I dont know what to make of it. I Would be interested in getting a male perspective on it?? if you dont mind. do you think I will hear from him? it is so weird. I guess I can call him but I feel awkward about it now...maybe he was not really that interested in me afterall.:confused:
Tressugar Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 This has happened to me on more than one occasion. What I found out is when a man does this it's an ego boost to see if they still got it (game). If he doesn't call then he's not at all that interested in you-sorry. But it's his lost. 2
johngalt1149 Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 I'm that 59 year old man. I sometimes pick the prettiest woman in the room or the 6 foot rule to see if I can or get shot down to get used to it. I don't always call. Sometimes I will get her number and then lose confidence to call too. Married 30 years in my case does a lot to diminish confidence (am I good enough, pretty enough, rich enough?). Nothing stops you from calling too nowadays. A lot of single people out there doesn't mean they are compatible. He could've lost the number, lost the sexual aggressiveness...anything. It has little bearing on you. Your ego is not dependant on his intentions. If you were pretty enough that he took the initiative to talk to you, that's your success right there. The rest is gravy. 3
OnlyHonesty Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 You need to bear in mind that if a guy approaches you for your number, then it's likely he's approached a hundred others too. Since rejection is a high probability, most men that do cold approaches will approach many women. I knew a guy that had so many different phone numbers, he couldn't even remember their names. A guy may get a few numbers but he could have been rejected by about 20 others before that happened. 1
Author chumly Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 I'm that 59 year old man. I sometimes pick the prettiest woman in the room or the 6 foot rule to see if I can or get shot down to get used to it. I don't always call. Sometimes I will get her number and then lose confidence to call too. Married 30 years in my case does a lot to diminish confidence (am I good enough, pretty enough, rich enough?). Nothing stops you from calling too nowadays. A lot of single people out there doesn't mean they are compatible. He could've lost the number, lost the sexual aggressiveness...anything. It has little bearing on you. Your ego is not dependant on his intentions. If you were pretty enough that he took the initiative to talk to you, that's your success right there. The rest is gravy. Thankyou sooo much! This is terrific insight. The funny thing was that I felt so great that night about myself! but when he did not call my elated feeling started to dwindle down again but maybe I should look at it as you said..he must have thought I was pretty enough to do that at the time..so that is the part that I should focus on and feel good about! and it could not have come at a better time since I have not felt very good about myself lately. I will focus on the positive aspects of it regardless if he calls or not! Thanks so much of this insight. I really appreciate it.:D
Author chumly Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 You need to bear in mind that if a guy approaches you for your number, then it's likely he's approached a hundred others too. Since rejection is a high probability, most men that do cold approaches will approach many women. I knew a guy that had so many different phone numbers, he couldn't even remember their names. A guy may get a few numbers but he could have been rejected by about 20 others before that happened. This is interesting as well! yes, I can totally see him doing that..he also seemed very hyper so I can see him forgetting me in a hyper state. I suppose I was not really overly interested in him anyway. I thought he was attractive but a bit strange at the same time. I would have been willing to go out for coffee with him though if he calls and of course he may still call but I wont hold my breath at this point. Thanks so much for the helpful advice on this. I really appreciate it. I was also dressed a little bit nice than I nornally do that night so maybe I need to dress better more often.. Thanks again.
Author chumly Posted May 6, 2017 Author Posted May 6, 2017 This has happened to me on more than one occasion. What I found out is when a man does this it's an ego boost to see if they still got it (game). If he doesn't call then he's not at all that interested in you-sorry. But it's his lost. this was what I thought as well but I suppose I will try to view it in the positive light that johngalt1149 put it in. Thanks so much.
mortensorchid Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 That's happened to me lots of times. I've been in a bar and some guy asks for my number, I give it to him. He never calls or texts. Once or twice in the past I would text him, no response. It's what it is. I don't think it matters how old or young you are, or how attractive / unattractive you are or are not. If he is truly interested he would call / text. 1
MountainGirl111 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 I don't know that' I'd be giving my cell phone number out to just any stranger that approached me and asked for it, especially if he was acting kind of strange. I don't care what kinds of nice things he says ... that's kind of scary, frankly. 3
Author chumly Posted May 10, 2017 Author Posted May 10, 2017 I don't know that' I'd be giving my cell phone number out to just any stranger that approached me and asked for it, especially if he was acting kind of strange. I don't care what kinds of nice things he says ... that's kind of scary, frankly. well, I did not know if maybe he seemed strange because he is nervous so I was trying to just give him the benefit of the doubt. However, I dont really understand your logic behind warning me about giving out my cell phone #. I can understand more if you were warning me against giving out a landline phone # or an address or even a FB address..all of those are kind of dangerous things to do in my opinion when u dont know someone but a cell phone # would seem one of the safer things to give out since most are really hard to trace nowadays. Thanks for the response but like I said, sorry, I just dont really see you logic on this one.
Author chumly Posted May 10, 2017 Author Posted May 10, 2017 just in case anybody is curious to know this man did wind up calling me several times since we met that night. He did not leave a voicemessage for some reason but he had definitely tried to call me. I recognized the phone #. I might call him myself in the next few days or so when I have a bit more time but either way I am satisfied now! It was a real confidence booster at a time that I can really use it so i am very grateful!! thanks everyone for the helpful responses on this one. If I wind up talking or going out with him I will update this post. 1
1fish2fish Posted May 10, 2017 Posted May 10, 2017 That's a little strange that he didn't leave a message. I always think that if someone really wants me to return their call, they will leave a message. Otherwise, it wasn't important. I'd let him leave a message first, assuming he calls again and you're not able to answer your phone, before calling him back. Let him make his intentions known.
Author chumly Posted May 12, 2017 Author Posted May 12, 2017 That's a little strange that he didn't leave a message. I always think that if someone really wants me to return their call, they will leave a message. Otherwise, it wasn't important. I'd let him leave a message first, assuming he calls again and you're not able to answer your phone, before calling him back. Let him make his intentions known. Thanks..that might be a good idea! Especially since he seemed kind of strange in certain ways anyway . Thanks again:D
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