Need Advice and Thoughts

[CantDecide...]

Ok well to start of with this may be kinda long but i trully need advice, so if anybody is willing to listen i would really apreciate it. Well anyways I was dating my girl for about a year and a half. We broke up a month ago yesturday to be exact, and since then its been a literal roller coaster. To start off with we broke up becasue a month before we broke up i was extrmely stressed about graduating and moving out of my house which i love, which i was graduating and moving in same week (not moving far). Also my college buddies were home and i was spending a lot of time with them. She also had work and dance performances so we didnt see eachother that much, and with me being distant and tudey(for no reason) didnt help. So basically we got into a fight one afternoon and i told her she had issues, and that was the straw that broke the camels back.

 

Since then Ive tried to apoologize by giving flowers, giving her the new harry potter book, i was originallyt going to do 2 roses a day for 6 days becasue on the 7th she was leaving for armenia. But i only gave it to her for two days because i didnt want to smother her. So anyhow a week after we break up she leaves for armenia for 2 weeks. Now im thinking tomyself while shes gone "great maybe while shes away not talking to me for a few weeks will make her miss me like crazy"...WRONG... she painted this whole picture in her head that i forgot about her and that i hooked up with somone else so while she was away she didnt think about missing me just that she thought i forgot abouyt her and basically kinda forgot abotu us. So anyway Once shes home and settled things finally get normal between us again and she starts calling me everyday, and we hang out like everyother day. Saw a movie last sunday, looked at pictures of her trrip to armenia tuesday, and wednesday we got some ice cream and hung out in a park and shared ice cram together. Now from anybodys point of view it would look like we were together, and thats how it seemed like it was going to turn out.

 

But yesturday were talking on phone and shes like how are u feeling about us and i said well i gues im ok...how do u feel about everything, and shes like well im really happy were friends, and that we still talk. And i said well how do u feel about us in a relationship sort of way and she said she hadnt evan been thinking about it. So basically Were on two diferent ends of the spectrum, i want love and she wants friend ship (right now). But i cant be here friend its to painfull, so i called her last night and said listen you know u mean a lot to me but im sry i cant be your friend right now, i want to be with you romantically but you dont feel the same way and its to painfull to be your friend and think about wanting you when its not that way for you. Ialso told her that if she ever has a change of heart she knows were to find me. she didnt like it and understood but kinda got annoyed.

Also this whole week shes been saying stuff like, you mean so much to me. I dont wanna loose you. I feel like your the only true person i have that still listens to my problems. i still love you. So you tell me whad youd think if someone is saying this to you but then turns around and is like no i havent thought about it... i just know if we get back together i want to feel it in my heart

 

But do you guys think i did the right thing in telling her i cant be firends?? im so confused and in a lot of pain. Acording to every person ive told this to they all think she will evntually break down and end up calling me so what do u guys think about that. BTw if you guys are confused at a certain aspect of this thread or feel like ive left something out just tell me and ill try my best to un confuse it

[johnnysparks]

Things like this are tricky, I am nine months single (or roundabout) after living with my gal for three years. We had a point about two years into the relationship that communication broke down, I was very stressed over bills, putting her through school and working overtime, a lot of overtime. At this point I was sort of in the wrong for being despondent and she couldn't see why I was stressing. We were like roommates in a one bedroom apartment, she started to sleep on the couch (her choice ladies out there, she knew I have had back problems since I was a child and hit by a truck). We worked on many fronts to repair the damage, even marriage counseling, we lived as a married couple so it made sense. But unfortunately it never came back to how it was and to top it all off my many late hours at the office had given her a trust issue, thinking I was cheating on her. Then I remembered some sage advice that basically went like "if someone is worried that your doing something they're usually guilty of it themselves". So then entered my trust issue. Relationships are tough and there's never a solid rule of how they can play out, and no one answer will be right for everyone. Knowing a great deal of women in my life has taught me one thing for sure, if they think you've forgotten about them they'll call, it's not to be mean but they don't want to fade from memory. However, the call isn't always the one you want, sometimes it's "Hey, sorry I haven't contacted you in a while..." and usually something about how they've moved on.

 

My intention is not to frustrate you or even dash your hopes, so please don't take it that way. As I stated previous, nothing about relationships is set in stone, and the outcome cannot be catalogued in any manor.

 

Keep your head up CantDecide..., life has a way of working out one way or another.

[CantDecide...]

thank you, anybody else have any opinions or thoughts?