cominghome Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Really intense relationship with a person. Intense, in terms of time spent together and also our connection. Started feeling like I was losing myself in him a bit, we both felt this way, we took steps back. Happened again, again moderately. Relationship was pretty smooth, bumpy first month, after that initial resistance to get close to one another, it was a really warm, honest, authentic connection. Then long distance started. And I think he wanted, since he was older, see what was out there, and although surprised at first, I wasn't surprised. The stages we are in life are not very compatible. It would be a lot to work through. So I was extremely sad, but then I also asked for space. i wanted to have myself to myself again, even though I still wished we were together. We don't do NC, this we decided together. It was painful at first for me, I don't believe it was that way for him. Its been two weeks. 2 Week time: On the second day we broke up, I felt super awesome. Then 3-5 super sad, then 6-7 awesome, 8-12 sad, 13-14 different. He now feels like a distant friend. Still a close friend, but like a ghost. Weird, because we are still in contact. Is it normal to get over someone this quickly? Could me casually dating and exploring what is out there have something to do with this? It seems to be a trend in my life, I get over people quickly. I'm a girl, if that helps, and when I googled the question, most of it was in response to men who get over women quickly. I also do want him back. Not now, but in the future. I think since we broke up I recognize there's things each of us needs to work on to make it a relationship that we'd dream of, but that timing is not now. I'm also open to not being with him. And I don't want transference of my feelings for him to go to another person. Which is why, I'm casually exploring the scene.
preraph Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 I think it's great you are able to be a little sad about it but move on because you know you both needed work. This will save you long periods of heartache and wasting time. Just enjoy life and dating and dating. I wish I'd been able to do that easier instead of getting obsessed. Secure mature people are best able to move on and accept reality and not feel like they lost half of themselves.
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