Real36 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Do you ever think about leaving your partner? If so, what about them or the relationship makes you consider doing it? I don't want to break up with my boyfriend but I'm struggling with feelings of disappointment. I'm just trying to get some perspective from others on how they deal with negative emotions involving their partners. Please, feel free to share. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I never think about leaving my partner. It doesn't mean that I don't struggle with disappointments every now and again... But I have dated enough to know when it's a good thing... and it's a good thing! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 In past relationships yes I did struggle and regretted for not dumping them sooner. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 In other relationships I thought about leaving my then BFs. To me, lots of those thoughts & doubts told me it was time to move on. During our worst fight about 1 year into our marriage I thought about leaving DH. I'm glad I stayed. No I don't think about leaving him. Every day, he does some little thing that makes me fall in love with him all over again. Why would I want to leave? I just hope I give him the same depth of feeling & security. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Real36 Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 I don't want to dump him. I'm just tired of always being the grown up and the voice of reason. I just keep thinking about something a friend's mom told us years ago. She said for the first 10 years the woman does the work in a relationship and when she finally gets fed up enough to move on, the man will realize what he has and straighten up. I don't want that for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 Your friend's mom was full of it. Why even listen to such garbage? Ok, think for yourself, address the problem(s) and be prepared to move on or stick it out until the problems are resolved. I would not change a single thing about my current relationship and it's a serious one... Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 (edited) I am currently single, but I've been in your predicament before. My reasons for thinking of leaving my past partners is beautifully summed up in the following lyric from Sade's "King of Sorrow": "I'll disappoint my future if I stay." In other words, staying with those men (my exes) would mean I would be leading a life that was a) not to the fullest potential and b) would require me to sacrifice or accept things that weren't true to who I was. My best advice would be to be as authentic as you can be. Be true to yourself, and do what you feel is right. If I may ask, what negative emotions or thoughts do you have that lead you to want to leave your current partner? Edited May 6, 2017 by Hopeful30 Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 I don't want to dump him. I'm just tired of always being the grown up and the voice of reason. I just keep thinking about something a friend's mom told us years ago. She said for the first 10 years the woman does the work in a relationship and when she finally gets fed up enough to move on, the man will realize what he has and straighten up. I don't want that for myself. Did you talk to him about it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 Do you ever think about leaving your partner? If so, what about them or the relationship makes you consider doing it? I don't want to break up with my boyfriend but I'm struggling with feelings of disappointment. I'm just trying to get some perspective from others on how they deal with negative emotions involving their partners. Please, feel free to share. You have to be brave and talk to him about how you're feeling. Don't be unfair by not talking to him. If he doesn't know any of this, he can't make changes. Also, if you break up with him and don't tell him, it's like you didn't give him a chance before doing this because you kept this all to yourself. This is how people who get dumped arrive at the feelings of being hit by a bolt out of the blue when they wonder why their partner isn't struggling, but have moved on---because they kept this kind of thing to themselves and didn't say anything. If you don't want to break up with him, then you're going to have to have a conversation with him. That is fair. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 Some things really are bad enough to lead to thoughts of leaving, but often those feelings happen "in the moment" - and they fade afterwards. However, they normally fade because there is so much good about the relationship, such that an occasional slip in civility or judgment isn't enough to actually be cause to leave. The good reasserts itself. If the issues recur often, though, I would eventually leave despite the good stuff, because I wouldn't allow myself to be treated badly on an ongoing basis. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 She said she doesn't want to leave him several times. Usually when people say that they absolutely mean it and will stay, so there's no use in trying to convince them to leave. OP, if you're asking for advice on how to get your man to change, let me know when you find out. In my experience, they aren't going to change or get better, so you are best to just suck it up if you are adamant about never leaving. And by the way, that is true for both men and women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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