karly85 Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Hi everyone, I thought it would be helpful to myself and others to hear what are peoples dating standards and values...
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 My values are pretty basic: honesty & integrity, decent work ethic. My standards are fairly high but I have always know that I am "high maintenance". Not that I look to a man to provide stuff for me; I provide quite well for myself but I need my SO to keep up. I want to be romanced. I want deep, meaningful, conversations & I love debating the controversial stuff -- religion, politics, etc. Shared sense of humor is a must. The ability to fit into a variety of situations from casual to formal. In a dating / relationship you have to find somebody who's values & standards mirror yours. Some people hate to be dressed up or to eat in restaurants with 5 forks. I love that stuff, so I would not date a man who is down home casual who lives in jeans & balks if I ask for a collared shirt, let alone white tuxedo jacket. Doesn't make either choice better just incompatible. 3
todreaminblue Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 (edited) I like an honest guy who shows loyalty to family and friends if he does that then chances are he would be a loyal man in a potential relationship...ill date a guy who shows real interest in who i am....i like traits of altruism,honesty, integrity compassion faith humor gentleness kindness creativity but logcally minded... curiosity,a guy who is willing to try different things,a guy who loves learning..... a guy who shows respect for women and wait staff or checkout chicks.....a guy who doesnt change accrording to a persons wealth ...treats everyone the same,courage, strength...firmness a guy who wont back down for his values for me and i wont for him.....in fact i want a guy to appeciate i want to wait and help me do that if i lose my focus.....and desire to go further.... a guy who is willing to wait for sex...who doesnt come on strong or grope me first date....grope me any date actually and understands with me ...no is no..simple as that............ a guy who can say he wants to continue to date me or not ..like i would with him...with honesty and compassion and kindness.....i dont want a jealous guy but i do want a guy who would stand up if was being disrespected...even if that standing up involved taking my hand and walking out..... a guy who doesnt play games or negg me and communicates on a regular basis......even if it is to say hey im going a way for a few days ro a week wont be able to contact you ill call you when i get back.........so a thoughtful guy who cares..i want a guy who isnt scared of affection or doesnt consider it clingy to communicate sadi affection......all of the things i have listed ......i would bring to the table so i guess i expect the same that i am willing to give..... as far as knowing all this....before i date someone...i normally do because i date guys who are friends to begin with.....when i realize that they couldnt consider me as a friend...is when i couldnt consider dating them ...whatsoever....i want my potential partner to be my best friend..someone i can be vulnerable and open with like how the guy would always be able to be open with me......if i cant be open or vulnerable or trusting with him...in other words see him as my best friend...that guy isnt for me...so obviously for me...i dont date unless it is serious that i am considering an intimate relationship with a man who is already my friend..so old doestn ever work for me...its my worst nightmare.........i get to knwo them on a deeper intimate level from friendship first.... i dont know if that is considered high maintenance....or jusr right maintenance for me....deb Edited May 4, 2017 by todreaminblue
BlueIvy Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 To be honest, I am pretty open-minded so on face value, if a guy seems nice I will give him a chance. Most of the times this doesn't work out as I only had 1 serious relationship. And by not working out, meaning I didn't really connect to them or see myself with them romantically. Overall, what makes me like a man is someone who is intelligent, can hold a conversation, treats me well, has ambition, can make me laugh sometimes. Someone who can be a friend as well as a lover. So, in short, a nice man who can hold a conversation and is sweet. Personality is more valuable to me in a man than how he looks provided he is not ugly to me. I also don't date men with kids unless I really like him, and they had kids within marriage. I am not trying to play mother to someone else's kid unless I feel the relationship will be marriage bound, not that I am trying to get married soon but still. I also don't date men who don't have much to offer.
JuneL Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 (edited) Someone who has integrity, and whom I think is open-minded and intelligent. For me, intelligence is subjective; whether I find someone intelligent is not directly related to his formal education level. One of the biggest turn offs for me is when those guys are trying to act smarter than they actually are. I don't put much weight on looks, as long as he keeps himself clean and healthy. Practically, at my age, both of us need to be financially independent. Edited May 4, 2017 by JuneL
kendahke Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 Self awareness, honesty, financial discipline and integrity
victoria88 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 (edited) Hi everyone, I thought it would be helpful to myself and others to hear what are peoples dating standards and values... Two people being in love with each other and wanting to have a relationship... p.s.If you explain what exactly you are asking I can develop more my answer. Edited May 13, 2017 by victoria88 1
Superchicken Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 As a man, the first thing I look for is beauty. Yes, its a shallow thing, but that's all I could afford when they were selling Human Qualities. I spent the rest of my money on my car !. Second, openness. I need to see how much the person is willing to say, and listen too, accept, etc.. Third, MUST have and understand Humour. Practical jokes included. Not easily offended, and man, my mouth is so filthy sometimes, I wash it with soap (Except its a chocolate bar, with nuts, and a glass of milk later.) Last, is integrity. Why is this on the bottom, because it holds everything else above it UP. Without this, everything else falls !. No jokes here. Love ?, that comes later.. Ted.
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