life changing break up!

[Gdragon]

Hi,all im new here and my story is really really long so please bear with me.

i met a woman online on a language exchange website, i've never felt anything like it when i spoke to her for the first time we had fun and a lots of laugh and she took a lot interest in me same for me,

 

and in less than a month or 2 we fell in love started a never ending relationship with a lot of positive and pure feelings based on trust and commitment after a couple months she said i want to meet you so ill visit you in couple of months time she came to my country it was her first solo traveling experience she've never ever travelled alone in her life i made her convince nothings gonna happen to you ill protect you ill never leave you ill be at you're side all the time and then she came we met for the first time it was a magical feeling that i will never forget till the day i die cuz she was my first ever lover.

 

and afterwards we had some very special moments they got cut short cuz i told my family that my friend came to visit me they knew about her but they didn't knew we were in a relationship, i never told them it was more like a tryst relationship she kept it a secret from her family as well,

 

as i did to she lied to her family to travel to my county and she planned to stay in my country for a week but it got cut short cuz of my family then she went after 3 days of stay she got really worried and got lil bit scared but comforted her all the way she said next time u gotta be more reliable and be more mature than you're right now and more independent i was like really foil but i said ill do my level best for you.

 

after couple months passed away she starting to have some doubts that will have a future together she met another guy of her same age( i was 21 and she was 33) she asked me that could i give it a try on him i was hurted and asked her what about our love she said u gotta to more be mature stand up own you're own and i dont think you'll ever get out of you're country,

 

cuz i wasnt quite as independent as her and after couple of weeks we broke up just to get back together cuz the guy she had interest was fake,

she said i will never trust anyone on the internet ever again i convinced her that ill never leave you ill love for life she got melted and said i love you.

 

we got back again she said i wont visit this time around to gotta make you're away out of you're country, i said ill try but i couldn't do it cuz we had strong bonding and a lot pure energy for love so i persuade her to visit me one more time and feeling were more strong than last one this time it went according to plan cuz i told her this time it wouldnt happen like the last time,

 

i have plan this time around i learnt from my mistakes and made it work this time we had more intimacy more physical love everything was so special i dont have words to express and we made a lot of promises then she went back our trust commitment was skyrocketing we had more love for each other ever since.

 

i made her more confident i helped her to look after herself how to maintain her take care of herself same for me she said,

 

she went to europe for the first time and she was happy it was her life long dream to go there i was happy for her as well she said when ever i came into her life everythings going perfect in her life.

 

like she was excelling in her work progressing day by day on the other hand i was doing the same things but rather slowly, she said you're the one for me and i told her you're best thing that ever happend to me, fast-forward to the moment that changed my life for ever she went to paris early last month and before going to paris we had a minor arguement then she said if you care to know ill be in paris soon, i said i dont care had fun.

 

after that i felt really bad so 2 days later i asked her how's everything going, she said everythings going fine i asked her do you miss me she said yes a lot then i gave her lil space to enjoy.

 

and i was lonely i needed her but she wasnt there for me, i thought to myself its taking too long to get out of my country i was being so negative about it i asked to myself what if dont get out what if it meant to happen this way,i made my decision i told her when say came back i think dont im the right guy for her i think im gonna get stuck in my country forever i dont wanna risk 2 lives.

 

she said im afraid of that as well, she said i dont think i couldnt find a right person for myself i said you will someone in you're life that fits you and i said i luv u she replied i luv u 2.

 

we didnt break up then right after that convo we had couple hours later i was so negative i told her i dont want her in my life go away she was like ok, i broke her trust and expectation next morning i awake up early in the morning to say sorry for what i did but it was too late.

 

she already moved on i asked does the distance matters is it a big concern, she said yes i asked her what if it ends really soon she said i dont think so ill end soon then she said i dont wanna have kids you do she said you have a different religion from me i couldnt adjust to that and the age difference matters to me since day one.

 

and she said its not gonna end well, i was like we could it give another try but love got dried she had for me we stayed friends ended the relationship on mutual but terms tho we did that i cried my heart my out, i said why i said why you couldnt be more positive, why you did that you fool nearly 2 years of relationship you flushed it down the toilet.

 

she trusted you risk her life for you what did you do took the cowards away out i told her if she ever needs me ill be there for her when ever she needs me, 3 or 4 days later she called me early in the morning it was sunday i woke she had some family issues, i comforted her she felt ok afterwards,

 

then couple of days later and i couldnt control my emotions that i cant stay friends with my former lover, so i tried to get her back ending im saying bad things filled with emotions i wasnt thinking what i was typing and i removed her.

 

the very next day i felt regretful i said sorry,she said its too much drama for me i need some time to cool off and im busy as hell the only thing that you think is you thats it, did respected her wishes i gave her some time off 5 days to be exact then i msg her again.

 

made the same mistake again ended up being blocked from everything, she going on a trip soon ever since she blocked me my love died for her i own upto all mistakes it was my first time i couldnt control my emotions thats why i screwed up big time.

 

and to push her farther away from me and clear her doubts about me that im not trustworthy anymore, and gave her a clear sight to move on even quicker cuz she had this kinda experience in the past.

 

she was more mentally strong and mature than me and im really grateful to had her being in my life she pushed me to do something ,fight for my life dont be lazy have purpose for life to do someting.

 

if it wasnt for her wouldn't have done anyting what im doing right now with more impetus, maybe i couldnt get the chance to tell all of this but what she did for me mean's a lot. maybe one day i will.

 

i learnt a lot things from her and the next i wouldnt make all those mistakes i would rectify and be a better person i dont think i could ever meet a person like her she was one in lifetime to come by.

 

i hope her the best and hopefully she will find her soulmate like i imagined in her but it wasnt meant to be,cuz she had all the thing i needed in my ideal type now i know there's someone out even better for me out there,God had better plans for me it was more like blessing in disguise.

 

and im curious my birthday coming up in 2 months time do you think she would wish me im curious ehhe thats all about it thanks for you're replies in advance stay classy

[d0nnivain]

The physical distance & you age differences are both factors working against you. It was beautiful while it lasted but you have to accept that it's over. No, You can't be friends with an EX. It's too painful when you want more.

 

 

If she sends you a birthday message that would be a breadcrumb. From here it would be nothing more than a wish for you to no longer be in pain. For you it will be hope that she wants to get back together.

 

 

Let this go. Remember her fondly as your 1st time but try to meet a local girl who you can date.

[Gdragon]

i know i've moved on well and truly but her memories will be etched in my brain and thanks for you're response much appreciated

Edited May 4, 2017 by Gdragon