Hustler519 Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 (edited) Ive been married for 21 months and Im ready to leave it all behind. We dated for 9 yr but ddnt marry because we both had other children from previous relationships and felt it would be easier to wait until the kids got older to marry. Although we had 3 children betwn 18-20, only my 20yr old finished high school and went to college. His two teens dropped out and decided they no longer want to live with their mom. Instead they want to move into our house and he thinks that I am supposed to convert my daughters bedroom that she comes home from college to every summer, into a shared room. Not bcuz they have no place to go but bcuz they wanna be here. All day...eating up everything, running up every bill, while my daughter works 2 jobs and takes 2 summer classes. When asked why he hasnt made them take a GED course, his response is that they're grownups and he cant force them. Also he is not the best provider. We both work long hours and make similiar pay but he comes home and sleeps and Im left to care for the house and our small son that we have together. He will even delegate errands that he needs to do for his adult children bcuz neither of them drive. I have made an agreement that we split the bills 50/50 but most of the time, he never has his half and acts like he's jealous bcuz I have money left over after bills and he doesnt. It seems like he purposely sabotages everything I do to make extra money or makes up things that he has to pay so that I will have to cover more expenses than him. I really feel like no one has benefited from this marriage but him and his adult kids bcuz Im always miserable. When he gives me his half of the bill money, he borrows nearly half of it back for gas and lunch by mid month. When i complain he tries to put me down and make it seem like Im a bad wife and shows favoritism to my biological kids. He does not require his ex to be a good parent at all, he relies solely on me to basically re-raise his children eventhough they are now adults. Edited May 4, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
preraph Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Well, get out. It isn't going to get any better having two dropout loafers around the house. It will only get really ugly. There's no excuse for not being a parent to your kids. But it's too late now. They're too old to salvage. They'll either do it themselves or they'll be there until they're 40. 3
mikeylo Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 If they are THAT grown up then they definately are grown up enough to earn a living and contribute towards the bills. He is using you for what you bring on to the table. Maybe the exWife pushes the kids to do something with their lives and thats why they choose to live with you.Since he is enabling them, they prefer to live here. Unfortunately, you are stuck. If he doesnt pitch up his share, you will be left with no savings and divorce will become difficult. 1
Tressugar Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Divorce. This is why women should marry up to avoid financial problems as this. Make sure you get half of everything. Women make your $, but make sure he's coming to the table higher than your income. As my mom always tell me a woman can do bad all by herself. She doesn't need a man to do bad with. 2
frigginlost Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Divorce. This is why women should marry up to avoid financial problems as this. Make sure you get half of everything. Women make your $, but make sure he's coming to the table higher than your income. As my mom always tell me a woman can do bad all by herself. She doesn't need a man to do bad with. Wow! Talk about ignorance... Anyway, OP, sadly it appears he is using you. It's time to take a step back and do what is good for you. It probably will not get any better with him. Only worse... 1
Whodatdog Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 How did you not know he was like that for the 9 years you dated? 1
spiderowl Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 What are you getting out of this relationship? Is it worth what you are losing for it? What does your partner spend his money on, if you both earn about the same and he always has less left over than you? Children are not responsible for their parents' behaviour or attitudes but if you are not happy with their father, then maybe you need to end things with him. I feel for any of your children because they feel part of a family and that will change if you split up, but you need to consider your own feelings and health too.
Tressugar Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Wow! Talk about ignorance... Anyway, OP, sadly it appears he is using you. It's time to take a step back and do what is good for you. It probably will not get any better with him. Only worse... One of the smartest things my mother said and has done. She'll never be in that position. Your response shows your educational level.
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