Virginia Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 Hi,I met a man who lives a few hours drive away from me,we spoke on the phone daily for hours at a time,constant text messages and he was very sure that I was the one for him We met up and it went very well,he kept telling me how beautiful I was,and again how he thinks we have a long future ahead of us The problem is the phone calls and txts are not as ofton anymore,he told me at the start that there would be some days where I didnt hear from him as if he is stressed or really busy he goes into his own world We get on really well and I am planning on going to see him again in a few weeks,he assures me that he still wants to meet up and the lack of calls is just needing some space and him being really busy I know he has lost girls before by being to clingy and he doesnt want it to end that way with us,when he doesnt text me I think it means that he has lost intreast and I can not understand how he can go a day w/out txting or calling me when I want to hear from him all the time The messages I do get are not as soppy as they once were,he told me if he ever felt like he wants to end it he would tell me straight away,he did get cold feet and he was honest and admitted he was just scared,so I do think he is the kind of person to be honest Im just wondering how this will survive when we will barely get to see each other,maybe the lack of calls is because he is going off me or simply because that is who he is and likes to go into his cave for a while Im not sure I can do it,I like him a LOT but all I can think about is that he doesnt call me as much,im trying not to be clingy so Ive told him that I am fine with not hearing from him some days,am I expecting to much? We have so much in commen,we both have a daughter the same age but sometimes I think maybe its worth ending it now so I do not have to worry about when he will call me etc but then I could be ending the best thing that may have happened to me,except my daughter of course Do you think I am worrying about nothing?
HotCaliGirl Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Originally posted by Virginia Do you think I am worrying about nothing? I think your worries are very valid. You need more attention from him and he's not giving it to you. Although he has a lot of positive qualities you like, this can outweigh those things as it is causing you a lot of unhappiness about it. Since he is not meeting your needs, it is not unreasonable to find them in someone else. Like you say, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to leave and in the meantime you will experience more disappointment. Sometimes I'll go through periods of needing a lot of attention and if I don't hear daily from the person I'm with, despite a lot of good qualities they have, I have to move on... BUT in your situation, you say that his past relationships have failed because he was too clingy...now he won't even call or send a text message. You really need to have a talk with him and once he knows how you feel, if he's still ok with not contacting you as much as you want, then he's not for you.
LindsM7 Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 I just got out of a relationship where I felt very similar. We lived three hours away from each other and saw each other every two to three weeks. At first things were great. We talked, texted, emailed all of the time. Over time, the calls got shorter, the emails got less meaningful...and I grew very frustrated. We still had a great time when we saw each other...things were just not the same. My advice to you...move on. I hung on for a couple of months because I felt that he had some great qualities and maybe things would progress and he would change. I sat around at night wondering when he was going to call, email...what was going through his mind. It is not worth it... I would maybe talk to him about how you are feeling but if things do not change, I think it would be in your best interest to move on with your life. If you are not getting what you want and deserve, why continue the relationship? I know it is easier said than done. I miss him but at the same time am at peace not having to worry about things anymore. I know that I want so much more and he was just not cutting it...
Recommended Posts