Tkay Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 Hi. I've been here before, only then it was on questions how to get a girlfriend. Almost a year ago, I got my first girlfriend. I felt everything was going ok, we had our fights,maybe alot more then normal,I don't know. But she always came crying back to me, claiming she never wanted to lose me, that I meant the world to her. I know this is bull****. I know it. But yet, At a certain point, I started to believe it. I think I was always in "control". But now, we had a fight again. I was angry at her because she was acting like an ass to me last month. But she didnt cry. She didnt do anything. She didnt care. We broke up. She said she needed time. Time, to think. I should have known that was bull**** as well, yet, I still hoped. Suddenly I wanted HER back. The day before we break up she sends a cell message "Hey dear, could you call me please? I have something to say". I call her, she picks up the phone, and she says I love you with all my heart. a DAY before we break up. I should have known, again, it was bull****, right? Right. We were over. I wanted her back. The day after. We talk on the internet. I say some nice stuff, like what i liked about her, some sweet stuff. She started to cry, she called me saying she didnt wana lose me after all. The day before she didnt know. I thought I was back in the game. But the next day, she was entirely back to how she was earlier, not knowing what to do. I remembered the lessons I learned earlier. If she breaks up, coming to cry at her feet won't help. You can guess what I have done. I have been sending some messages, not TOO much I think. But she never wanted to talk about it and she always said she didnt know. I promised her everything would change, that I wouldnt be such an ass anymore. She still didn't know what to do. I just asked her to meet me in real life to talk. Her reply, "I dont know if I really want that". Ive been ****ed with, haven't I. So I called her. Again, again and again. She sent me a cell messsage saying she dont want to talk. So I said something in her answering machine. Crying, Saying I wanted her back,I missed her, and that I wanted to hear from her what she wanted, if I should just forget about her or not, because that would make it easier for me. I've been asking that for a while now,she always answeres she doesn't know, now i haven't had an answer yet. I'm pissed at her now. Pissed for betraying me, claiming she loved me, while it was all lies. But she's so pretty. ;( I need advice. What should I do. I KNOW I should just forget about her and move on, but you know what? It really is alot harder when it happens to yourself. I suddenly care alot more then I did before. What would be a proper tactic to get her back. Hoping to see a fast reply, as I'm feeling really bad now and I only have about 4.5 hrs sleep to go until I have to work. PS: I'm 19, she's 18
markraine Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 If she tells you "I don't know" over and over and over and over. She doesn't want to be with you, not now anyways, and if you continue to call her over and over, you will GUARANTEE that you will NEVER get her back. She has no reason to want to come back to you because you are her sucker on the line. No matter what she does, you're still there as her safety. I'll tell you something powerful that will change your life forever. CUT THAT $%$##@%& $%^& OUT!!!!!!!! STOP! Don't call her anymore. The reason you want her is simple human nature, we always desire what we CAN'T get. No that she broke up with you, you want her BADLY. Perhaps you took her for granted, but the key is, doing what you are not will only ensure that she never returns to you. It reeks of weakness, lack of confidence and clinginess. Women don't want a weepy guy that has little self confidence, or at least acts like it. There is no guarantee that you can get her back, but the best thing to do at this point is to leave her alone and move on with your life. IMPROVE YOURSELF. Hit the gym, try some new hobbies, but leave her be, believe me. The one thing that might bring her back is the same logic by which you want her so badly now. You can't HAVE what you want. If she see's that you are improving, working on yourself, taking care of yourself, that you are getting on without her.......it might shock her and draw her back to you, but by that time my friend, you might not give a damn about it Thats when you know you'll be over her. Eitherway you'll have the ball back in your court at that time, and the decision will be yours to make. Begging and crying will not get her back, just remember that. Showing strength, confidence, independence and the attitude that says "I don't need you to make me happy" might be enough to draw her back, if it doesn't, it will have helped you recovered enough to find someone that will treat you well and NOT JUST BAIL on you. Good luck my friend.
dr strangelove Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 Listen right now you are pushing your gf. Jut back off, dont call. Meditate on what you think u have been doing that if you changed would help out the relationship, and btw you cant really tell her you will change you have to show her. Seriously though dont call, and when she does maybe dont pick up the first time but thats up to u. good luck im sure she will call in a week or two or sooner but you have to back off and not be pushy when she does call. ciao dr strangelove
Author Tkay Posted July 31, 2005 Author Posted July 31, 2005 Originally posted by markraine If she tells you "I don't know" over and over and over and over. She doesn't want to be with you, not now anyways, and if you continue to call her over and over, you will GUARANTEE that you will NEVER get her back. She has no reason to want to come back to you because you are her sucker on the line. No matter what she does, you're still there as her safety. I'll tell you something powerful that will change your life forever. CUT THAT $%$##@%& $%^& OUT!!!!!!!! STOP! Don't call her anymore. The reason you want her is simple human nature, we always desire what we CAN'T get. No that she broke up with you, you want her BADLY. Perhaps you took her for granted, but the key is, doing what you are not will only ensure that she never returns to you. It reeks of weakness, lack of confidence and clinginess. Women don't want a weepy guy that has little self confidence, or at least acts like it. There is no guarantee that you can get her back, but the best thing to do at this point is to leave her alone and move on with your life. IMPROVE YOURSELF. Hit the gym, try some new hobbies, but leave her be, believe me. The one thing that might bring her back is the same logic by which you want her so badly now. You can't HAVE what you want. If she see's that you are improving, working on yourself, taking care of yourself, that you are getting on without her.......it might shock her and draw her back to you, but by that time my friend, you might not give a damn about it Thats when you know you'll be over her. Eitherway you'll have the ball back in your court at that time, and the decision will be yours to make. Begging and crying will not get her back, just remember that. Showing strength, confidence, independence and the attitude that says "I don't need you to make me happy" might be enough to draw her back, if it doesn't, it will have helped you recovered enough to find someone that will treat you well and NOT JUST BAIL on you. Good luck my friend. Ahh yes, I was hoping for something like this. Because I know it is true, I know how the game works, but it's just hard to stick to it when it happens to yourself. I feel bad about ringing her earlier now. I want to improve myself,but I am too busy with work and stuff, and probably, too lazy after work because then I need to study. Damn. Thanks. any other replies are ofcourse still appreciated
Author Tkay Posted July 31, 2005 Author Posted July 31, 2005 Nasty limit to 20min after post editing. A question I have always been wondering about. How can you coop with having a girlfriend, knowing its all a setup. How can you coop with the fact that you're just as good as anybody else, that you are not SPECIAL. I always had a problem with this. It might just be my 'mellow' mood, and the fact that I'm a bit sad. Funny, I kinda missed this feeling, and I'm feeling kinda good listening to soft music, thinking about life, just like I used to do when I couldn't get a girl, being sad and stuff. Strange.
Jaime03 Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 You want what you cant have...how many times have you heard that? Well it is true. She seems like she just doesnt know what she wants. Ok so she is pretty...Well there is a lot more to it than that. Let someone else put up with the Bull****. Do things that can take your mind off of it. Get a hobbie. Dont call! and better yet if she calls I would just either not answer or answer and make it short b/c you have something better to do than talk to her anyways. Right? There are many girls out there. Your only 19. I am sure there will be many more heart aches before the right one. All this will do is make you stronger...Maybe you should thank her for that?
Jaime03 Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 You want what you cant have...how many times have you heard that? Well it is true. She seems like she just doesnt know what she wants. Ok so she is pretty...Well there is a lot more to it than that. Let someone else put up with the Bull****. Do things that can take your mind off of it. Get a hobbie. Dont call! and better yet if she calls I would just either not answer or answer and make it short b/c you have something better to do than talk to her anyways. Right? There are many girls out there. Your only 19. I am sure there will be many more heart aches before the right one. All this will do is make you stronger...Maybe you should thank her for that?
Jaime03 Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 You want what you cant have...how many times have you heard that? Well it is true. She seems like she just doesnt know what she wants. Ok so she is pretty...Well there is a lot more to it than that. Let someone else put up with the Bull****. Do things that can take your mind off of it. Get a hobbie. Dont call! and better yet if she calls I would just either not answer or answer and make it short b/c you have something better to do than talk to her anyways. Right? There are many girls out there. Your only 19. I am sure there will be many more heart aches before the right one. All this will do is make you stronger...Maybe you should thank her for that?
lostinmymind Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 Originally posted by Tkay A question I have always been wondering about. How can you coop with having a girlfriend, knowing its all a setup. How can you coop with the fact that you're just as good as anybody else, that you are not SPECIAL. . That's not true at all, but it is a natural feeling to get when you are rejected. If all this were true, she wouldn't have stuck around with you for so long, trust me. I went through something similar, and am still going through it, but I'm a lot farther along. So here is some advice: 1. You are going to feel like you are dying not talking to her, but just don't do it. Once you stop, it won't take long before you are feeling better, you won't feel great, but you'll feel ok. She will call when she is ready, but don't talk to her unless you are ready too. If you don't think you can answer the phone and just be friendly, confident, act cool, and keep it short then don't do it. 2. Doing what you are doing is just pushing her away. When you hear that you are probably thinking: "What if I just went to far and pushed her away for good." You didn't, don't worry, but if you don't stop things CANNOT get better. 3. Don't tell yourself this is temporary, but don't tell yourself it's over forever either. You need to develop the attitude that whatever happens is what is meant to happen. A lot of people on here are extremely pessimistic and tell you to accept that it is over. That didn't help me. What helped was to just learn to accept things as they are at the moment, who knows what the future holds so stop trying to guess. This is a good outlook, it lets you be optimistic about life without setting yourself up for a let down. 4. Most importantly work on yourself. It seems like you know what your problems are. Work on them. Now is the time to push yourself harder then ever before. Do all the things you want to do, but never seem to. You don't need a girl to be happy. Companionship is wonderful, but it should only be a compliment to an already great life.
Author Tkay Posted August 5, 2005 Author Posted August 5, 2005 Right What has happened up until now. Not much. I felt better with all you guys suggestions, but not for very long. I asked her to meet up in person, to talk. Her response: "I'm out for about a week, and I'm not sure if I want to talk.Sorry" Well, by coincidence I knew she wasn't really going away, just sleeping over at her aunt, who lives a block away from where she lives. Because I knew she lied we talked more, and she claimed it was all over because she felt like I was in it for the sex. I might have been. I'm not sure myself. I only cared about sex anyway. Not sure if I'm normal Now I saw she changed her personal profile to "Single & Looking". Yes, I did the same, maybe even before her, I'm not sure, but still it hurts. I just want to get over her, But it's hard to refuse talking to her. She refuses to talk to me also, that makes it just harder. I get pissed at times, I just want to tell her stuff that's on my mind, how she treated me wrong and stuff. Hmm.
Sum1 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 07/08/2005 she kissed another guy who is actually still dating his girlfriend I'm so angry right now
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