Yoyosago Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 I apologize for my writing style. English is not my first language. I'm 28 years old, been told that I am extremely handsome (If its of any significance) and have been with a few girls that never went anywhere. Started dating this girl at work. She was the one who asked for my number about 3 months ago and she was always the one who would ask when we would hang out. I totally forgot about her for 2 months and one night she txted me and we made plans and met the same night. Had a few drinks and went back to her place. Escalating was never an issue, within an hour I got her clothes off. Our first date lasted 19 hours. She even called in sick to cuddle with me the next day. The next 2 weeks were good, she would always be the one to text me first and our convos were always flirtatious in nature. She told me one time that she was going out to a restaurant with friends and she'll have "fun for the both of us". She also said that she cant stop thinking of me kissing her (this was 5 days after) and other things that led me to believe that she was very interested in me like our babies would be really cute (im ethnic). I noticed that I would always be the one to end convos due to work and other things. Shes a busy girl too and had to decline some of my invitations because of her schedule. A random Saturday she messaged me saying "So do you have to work or are you gonna come over and hang out with me?". Sadly I had to work and made plans for Monday but she cancelled on the day because she said she was on her period. I understood her situation but got thrown off when I saw her going out (on social media) the next day. We would still text but she was less receptive to my flirting. It appeared to me that she was treating me like a friend. We went out as a group that Thursday. Whenever I got her alone she was less receptive to my advances. She drove me to my car (I was a bit drunk). I started kissing her and she would kiss back. I asked if "she doesnt like me anymore". She responded that she "never said that she didnt like me". I also told her that "You broke my heart on Monday". Before I gout out if her car I snuck a kiss on her cheek and she giggled and told me to "drive safe". Felt that I was too needy. She texted me the following 2 days but again it felt like she was treating me like a friend. Again, I was the one who cut the convos short and the last thing I said was "Let me know if you have free time to meet up" in which she replied "I will!!". Its been approx 72 hours since our last contact. I am afraid I over analyzed her behaviour, acted too needy and lost her. I really like this girl, I just wished I had total control of my emotion (which I know is impossible 24/7) on Thursday. Shes a very nice and friendly girl. Very outgoing, risk taker. Lots of friends. Partys a lot (drugs included, but im not going to be a hypocrite as I did my share when I was younger). She said she would date but her last relationship was 6 years ago. Im sad to say but she has a few options for guys. Not to sound narcissistic but I the other guys dont match up to me in terms of credentials. I really suck at relationships, as you can see, but would like to see if I can get serious with this girl.
preraph Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 Your English is great, by the way. Whether she will get serious has more to do with just what stage of life she is in. You say she's a partier. So that's kind of a life-style. I mean, not recommending you start back up on drugs, but just be sure you do go out with her to do the things she enjoys. She may want a boyfriend but maybe not want to start getting so serious as to progress to marriage or like that. I think you just keep dating her for as long as you're both willing and see where it leads. I don't think a bunch of talk will work on her, since you are sensing that it makes you look a certain undesirable way. So don't be clingy or needy and don't overtext or whatever, but keep asking her out on dates and things. If it keeps going like it is, then maybe in six months, you re-evaluate and bring the subject up if you haven't both naturally opened the topic between now and then. Good luck!
Author Yoyosago Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 Its been 72 hours of no contact. Should I text her and when? Again, I apologize. I am just now realizing that I have a severe lack of relationship experience.
Author Yoyosago Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 To add. In my experience after ignoring a girl she usually gets in contact but it usually takes a loong time and I see it as a form of being passive agrressive.
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Oh dear. She likes the thrill of the chase & the initial falling in luv feeling. I didn't spell that wrong. She has no clue what love is. You had her clothes off too quickly. She called in sick to work to cuddle with you. Are you kidding? does that not scream messed up priorities to you? You don't possibly get yourself fired from your job for some new person you just had sex with. It's only been 72 hours & you already know she is willing to call the shots & act outside of gender norms when it suits her. She gave you her # initially after all. Plus she's a party girl with lots of options. This girl is playing games. Learn the rules & rule # 1 is there are no emotions involved or step off. You, Yoyosago, have met & fallen prey to a Female Player. Enjoy it for what it is but don't give your heart away. She has no time for sentimentality.
Author Yoyosago Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Thank you for her responses. Female Player? Lol lets see what she got!! 1
Author Yoyosago Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Hello, It was recently brought to my attention that I might be dating a female player. Been dating for a month and at the start she was burning hot but became colder and colder. Shes always collected and keeps her cool. Shes a party girl and always appears to have activities wih her friends. Shes been really cold lately but I havent done any chasing (i.e blowing her phone up, constantly setting up meet ups). She would always be the one to text first but since after a drunken mistake where I told her that I really liked her and that she broke my heart when she cancelled a date one time. I kept kissing her and she would kiss back. I also tried to act really cool but I know she saw through that lol. I told her to let me know when shes free to meet up, 6 days later nothing yet. She still txted me 2 days after but I would always cut the convos short. We had no contact for about 5 days and she txted me last night (she was a bit tipsy) brief small talk. I really like this girl and other than the drunken episode I pulled, I dont seem to have made any huge mistakes (blame it on the alcohol lol). I work with her and Ive known for months that she had a crush on me (Im extremely good looking apparently). She was the one who got my number and did 100% of the txting the first 3 weeks. Is she a player? How do I deal with this situation? I am always mistaken as a player myself but I wouldnt be here if I was lol. Thanks in advance. A little background on her: 7/10. Blonde. Has options. Party girl. The reason why I believed she had high interest for me was because during the first 2 weeks she did all thr texting, sent me photos of her, told me that she couldnt stop thinking of our first nigt together, told me our babies would be cute, got her clothes off within an hour of our date, cuddled with me for 15 hours (thats not an exaggeration) even called in sick to work the next day. Why I suspect shes a player is that well someone on the forum told me lol based on what ive described. I want to play her game and maybe see where it goes. Shes in the cold stage atm.
Titanll Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 A little background on her: 7/10. Blonde. Has options. Party girl. The reason why I believed she had high interest for me was because during the first 2 weeks she did all thr texting, sent me photos of her, told me that she couldnt stop thinking of our first nigt together, told me our babies would be cute, got her clothes off within an hour of our date, cuddled with me for 15 hours (thats not an exaggeration) even called in sick to work the next day. Break this down a bit for us...you cuddled for 15 hours? Going for a record or something?
Author Yoyosago Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Found it odd too. She wanted to stay in bed watch tv and talk. Started at around 3 am and lasted til 8pm the next day. Switch from bed to couch in living room then back to bed. 1
Titanll Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Found it odd too. She wanted to stay in bed watch tv and talk. Started at around 3 am and lasted til 8pm the next day. Switch from bed to couch in living room then back to bed. I'm not into casual sex but 15 hours cuddled up with a woman is going to test the living crap out of my resolve haha!
kendahke Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Found it odd too. She wanted to stay in bed watch tv and talk. Started at around 3 am and lasted til 8pm the next day. Switch from bed to couch in living room then back to bed. And no sex or sex play happened during this 15 hours?
Author Yoyosago Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 A lot of kissing, touching, licking. She was hesitant to have sex a second time. I didnt want to force her.
joseb Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Just because she was forward and initiated initially does not mean she has "high interest" in you. It sounds like her interest is pretty low and she has lots of other options. I would also see it as a bad sign that after meeting someone and having sex, you spent 15 hours cuddling afterwards, with no sex. I would forget her and move on. If she comes back at some stage and you feel like some casual fun then by all means go for it.
coolheadal Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Found it odd too. She wanted to stay in bed watch tv and talk. Started at around 3 am and lasted til 8pm the next day. Switch from bed to couch in living room then back to bed. Sounds like she's depressed about something if that happen. Did you do anything romantic during that time.
Popsicle Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 I would chop off my right arm to just cuddle with cute guy.
coolheadal Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 I would chop off my right arm to just cuddle with cute guy. Wow! I would sew it back on for you, your the best! 1
Popsicle Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 (edited) Wow! I would sew it back on for you, your the best! Why thank you. I'm going to start chopping now. Edited May 4, 2017 by Popsicle
Recommended Posts