Smokeshow Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 My ex-gf asked for space a little over a month ago so I gave it to her. I moved in to a new place a week ago which exactly when she starts messaging me asking how it is. I have ignored her until this past weekend when she texts me to tell me something that she thought would upset me, well it didn't. So yesterday she is texting me about it and asks me to call her, I relented and called her. She was telling me that it infuriated her that I was ignoring her and she had to do something to get my attention and she knows what she did was a bit psycho. She told me that she won't fix what she did over the weekend until I come to see her or she comes down to my new place to see me. She told me when she asked for space she didn't mean for me to completely cut her off but at the same time she never reached out to me until a little over a week ago. I made it a short conversation and said good night without making plans. Now today she emails me asking how I am? I am confused as to what she is up to, she asked for space I gave it to her and now she's upset that I haven't called or texted since she asked for it. Now she wants to meet up? What is going on in this girls head?
Purepony Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 Good job on staying away ! I know it's hard so it sounds to me like you're playing your cards right I would meet up with her but be upfront and set up a time limit Reason I would set up a time limit is just to make it look like he you're busy you don't have time to be wasting and she's not a priority anymore, when people think they still have a hold on you they tend to take advantage so you've been doing a good job playing your cards if you want to back I'd say probably keep your distance the way you have and unless she opens the door and you know it's something you want to follow and get back into then just be a fun and ask her since she's the one who initiated the break
Zahara Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 I would just pick up the phone and ask her upfront. There is no need to meet. She doesn't get to dictate the terms and act like a petulant child when she doesn't get her way. You gave her space and if she has something important to say, she can act like an adult, express it and go from there. Don't let people toy with your emotions. She doesn't get to stroll in and out as she pleases. But you get to dictate as to whether meeting up is deserving, only if she has something of substance to share. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 She is the one who broke your relationship, your trust & your heart by pulling away. She now wants you to chase her. In essence she is looking for you to "prove" your love to her. She's very immature. Tell her to get back with you & work on the relationship or to go away. there can't be this middle ground of her punishing you for not being a mind reader & not playing her game. Please understand she is setting you up to fail a bunch of "tests" you don't even know you are taking.
Author Smokeshow Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 So today she texts me that she wants me to come to her place this weekend because she needs to tell me some things and it would be best we do it face to face. I asked what it is about but she won't tell me until we are face to face or over the phone as she does not want to be rushed. I have no idea what it is about as I have not talked with her for over a month and now something this important has come up that she needs to talk face to face. She said she is not in trouble. I'm not sure what to do or what it could be about, this is very confusing for me.
Chi townD Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Could be a couple of things. Is it possible that she might be pregnant? Or it could be to tell you that there was someone else. Sometimes, Ex's need "space" to explore the possibility of this other person and it just wasn't in the cards. So, don't be her back-up plan. Or it could be that she just wants to see you. Try to get you in the friend zone. A lot of women cannot stand the fact that there might be a person on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. So, she needs to see if this is the case.
Sparta Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Next time she contact you say hey I need some space can you give me that just for little while ... she wants to tell you that she slept with someone else... just ghost her. 1
Zahara Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 So today she texts me that she wants me to come to her place this weekend because she needs to tell me some things and it would be best we do it face to face. I asked what it is about but she won't tell me until we are face to face or over the phone as she does not want to be rushed. I have no idea what it is about as I have not talked with her for over a month and now something this important has come up that she needs to talk face to face. She said she is not in trouble. I'm not sure what to do or what it could be about, this is very confusing for me. Do it over the phone. I'm not sure how someone who exits and wants space just strolls in and dictates what she wants expecting the other to jump. If you want to meet her, do it in a neutral place. Not at your home or hers because it puts you in a situation that could possibly tug at your vulnerabilities. 1
Author Smokeshow Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Next time she contact you say hey I need some space can you give me that just for little while ... she wants to tell you that she slept with someone else... just ghost her. Not sure why she wants to meet face to face after over a month of NC to just tell me that. She now wants to meet me at my place
Author Smokeshow Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Do it over the phone. I'm not sure how someone who exits and wants space just strolls in and dictates what she wants expecting the other to jump. If you want to meet her, do it in a neutral place. Not at your home or hers because it puts you in a situation that could possibly tug at your vulnerabilities. My mistake I meant she does not want to do it over the phone she only wants a face to face meeting
Zahara Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 My mistake I meant she does not want to do it over the phone she only wants a face to face meeting I'm sorry, OP but she doesn't get to call the shots. If it is important enough she can tell you over the phone and YOU can decide if it's worth a meeting. You are entitled to make that decision for yourself. If you still want to meet her, then do it at a neutral place and not in your homes. 2
Friskyone4u Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 So today she texts me that she wants me to come to her place this weekend because she needs to tell me some things and it would be best we do it face to face. I asked what it is about but she won't tell me until we are face to face or over the phone as she does not want to be rushed. I have no idea what it is about as I have not talked with her for over a month and now something this important has come up that she needs to talk face to face. She said she is not in trouble. I'm not sure what to do or what it could be about, this is very confusing for me. Not reading further. Guessing she will tell you she hooked up with another guy and blame it on you for ignoring her.
fromheart Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 So today she texts me that she wants me to come to her place this weekend because she needs to tell me some things and it would be best we do it face to face. I asked what it is about but she won't tell me until we are face to face or over the phone as she does not want to be rushed. I have no idea what it is about as I have not talked with her for over a month and now something this important has come up that she needs to talk face to face. She said she is not in trouble. I'm not sure what to do or what it could be about, this is very confusing for me. 'Needing space,' is usually the build up for a dump. Given her bad behavior of late I'm not sure why you'd want to be with er. Prepare yourself for this, and if it happens tell her you feel the same way and now you wish to go NC. If she does do a dump and you are still interested in her, tell her to let you know if she changes her mind and now you must get back to work/meeting friends etc. Then NC forever.
preraph Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Oh, be honest with yourself at least. You retaliated by ignoring her to punish her for asking for space. That's obvious since you knew as soon as she contacted you that she was ready to talk or whatever. You're punitive, or as they say at Loveshack, butthurt. Try to just be normal and not ruin your relationship because she asked you for some space. It may be on its way out anyway, but if you want to keep it at all, you're doing yourself no favors by acting retaliatory. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 If you decide you are willing to have this face to face, I'd insist in neutral territory somewhere in the middle. If she's going to dump you, you don't want that memory in your house. It will really suck; every time you walk in the living room you think, that's where she ripped my heart out. Also you want to be somewhere you can leave if this goes sideways. In your house you might not be able to get her out if you want her to leave, then what? 2
Marc878 Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 She ended it. You be cool and aloof. Let her chase if you're interested you do not!!!!
Author Smokeshow Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Oh, be honest with yourself at least. You retaliated by ignoring her to punish her for asking for space. That's obvious since you knew as soon as she contacted you that she was ready to talk or whatever. You're punitive, or as they say at Loveshack, butthurt. Try to just be normal and not ruin your relationship because she asked you for some space. It may be on its way out anyway, but if you want to keep it at all, you're doing yourself no favors by acting retaliatory. Not sure retaliation is the word, she asked for space and to me that means it's over me ignoring her was to get on with my life, she's the one that did something stupid to get my attention. I'm not sure you understand the situation
Ieris Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 @smokeshow ~ I think you did the right thing, she wanted space and she got exactly what she asked for. Now she is the one jumping up and down for your attention... if it's over in your mind then don't bother meeting up with her.
Author Smokeshow Posted May 5, 2017 Author Posted May 5, 2017 So I met up with her last night and I got the "I screwed up I want you back" from her, for all of you hoping or wanting to hear that, all I have to say is so did I and when I heard it I truly felt nothing and it scared me. I guess we are done for good 1
todreaminblue Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 So I met up with her last night and I got the "I screwed up I want you back" from her, for all of you hoping or wanting to hear that, all I have to say is so did I and when I heard it I truly felt nothing and it scared me. I guess we are done for good thats good for you then because you obviously really didnt want to fix it...might help if next tiem a woman says just give me some space you define...space......together ...if its a break up or for her to decide if she still loves you...that to me...is over...having to get a new place well that wasnt fair on you at all.......if its space fro a woman to work on herself and figure out what is needed to move forward together...than that isnt over......good luck next time.....deb
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