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What should exclusive DATING be like? expectations v reality?!


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Hi

 

There is so much out there about dating and how it should/should not be like.

 

When you are exclusively dating someone for 6 months and more, what should he/she be doing to progress and nature the relationship?

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Telemachus

Dating isn't like a board game or card game that has a set of rules. You have to take the responsibility for communicating with the other person and establishing your own unique set of understandings and commitments.

 

In continuing to communicate, you revise and renegotiate the parameters of your relationship over time.

 

There is no standard path or plan.

 

If you open the dictionary, "date" in this context simply means a plan for a man and woman to meet. It means nothing more. There is no "should be" about it. You add the rest. All dating people do this also.

 

You establish your relationship by explicit agreement or course of conduct, and not by getting out the instruction sheet or rules. There are none, until you make them yourself, and they only apply to the two of you.

 

If you added exclusivity, then you established what that meant, or you should have. If you didn't, then take the responsibility for doing it now.

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Redhead14
Hi

 

There is so much out there about dating and how it should/should not be like.

 

When you are exclusively dating someone for 6 months and more, what should he/she be doing to progress and nature the relationship?

 

As long as both parties are getting what they need from the relationship, it's all good. There are areas that can and should be negotiated/compromised on if necessary and the relationship is otherwise a good one. It's all about communicating needs, goals, wants in a respectful and open-minded way.

 

There is no "cookie cutter" plan. Communicate!

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Hi

 

There is so much out there about dating and how it should/should not be like.

 

When you are exclusively dating someone for 6 months and more, what should he/she be doing to progress and nature the relationship?

 

 

Not everyone is the same but in my case at 6 months exclusivity I expect to have met most friends & family, I expect we see each other 3+ times a week, I expect we spend our weekends together, I expect we go on trips or get away weekends together. I expect we start having feelings of love toward each other and are in the process of falling in love.

 

That's what I expect. It does not mean it's the way to go for everyone but I know myself enough, I know my needs while in a relationship so I aim to date a man that is working toward a same goal as me.

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I think the main thing is you're supposed to be able to trust them to not date other people when you're exclusive, and they should be making some concessions so that you can trust that, be open and transparent, not leave you wondering what they're up to and making you suspicious. If they're making you have to guess about things, they're sneaking around.

 

I don't necessarily think anyone is obligated to introduce you to family until they're ready. For a lot of people that's not until you're engaged. For others who hang with their family alot, they probably know everyone he dates. There's no reason to have expectations of anything except that he be faithful and transparent.

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GunslingerRoland
Hi

 

There is so much out there about dating and how it should/should not be like.

 

When you are exclusively dating someone for 6 months and more, what should he/she be doing to progress and nature the relationship?

 

What should life be like for a single person?

 

I don't know what kind of answer you are looking for? I mean so much depends on who you are, what your life is, what stage of your life you are at, what you want from a relationship.

 

Even trying to go with a generic answer, I'd answer very differently for a 20 year old who is still in school vs. a divorced person in their 40's.

 

All I'll say, is that by 6 months IMO you should be starting to integrate into each other's lives to some degree. It shouldn't be just a matter of having "dates". You should be going out with each others friends, going to functions together, possibly met family members, etc.

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Hi

 

There is so much out there about dating and how it should/should not be like.

 

When you are exclusively dating someone for 6 months and more, what should he/she be doing to progress and nature the relationship?

 

That depends upon the two individuals involved.

 

What ages are these people? Have they been married before? Do they have children from previous relationships? Are they financially solvent/responsible? Do have they drug/alcohol dependence/mental health issues?

 

Perhaps some details about your situation would help to focus the discussion here.

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d0nnivain
When you are exclusively dating someone for 6 months and more, what should he/she be doing to progress and nature the relationship?

 

 

Nothing. You should be enjoying each others company in the moment. be present in the here & now of your relationship. Are you having fun? Do you enjoy talking to this person? every once in a while you can do a self check on your side alone . . . are you still having fun & based on any new info you have learned do you still want this person around, next week, next month, next year? Beyond that there is nothing to do except enjoy the journey.

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