How to deal with moments of weakness when you want to contact your ex?

[whatsherface]

Hello my dear LoveShack community,

 

Thank you for always being here during my saddest, darkest moments.

 

My most recent ex-boyfriend treated me like absolute crap. I finally found the courage to leave. Sometimes I feel good knowing that I walked away from a toxic relationship, but other times I start to reminisce on all the good memories and I end up missing my ex so badly. It's getting harder and harder to remain NC when these nostalgic moments arise.

 

Any tips on dealing with these moments of weak resolve? I really don't want to ruin my progress by unblocking and messaging him, but I also miss him so much sometimes--even though I know I shouldn't.

[Altair0770]

It's part of the process. All I can say as far as advice is think about it - what good can come out of contacting him?

 

He treated you like crap. You know this. You miss him. I'm currently walking away from a narcissist that gas lighted me to hell, smear campaigned me to many friends, has sent fly monkeys to me and has constantly lied to me and I want to text her so bad as well (mainly to call her out). She also dumped me.

 

Then I think to myself, what would happen if I did text her? What good can come out of it? What would it change for me?

 

Breaking up is like trying to get off of a drug. Sometimes you badly want a hit, but then you realize how far it threw you back and you got to start the process over again.

[d0nnivain]

I had 3-4 friends I would call instead. I would call & tell them I needed them to talk to me so I wouldn't call him. They were all sweet enough to oblige. I tried to rotate among them so I wasn't burdening any one friend.

 

 

Other options: go for a walk; clean; post here; jump in another chat room on the internet (trick find one that is not creepy); make lists -- preferably of why your EX is bad for you & all the things you want to do for yourself now that you have time.

[LAEK]

The only thing that is getting me through NC is that I am already dealing with hurt over the past, I don't want to hurt more now or in the future by this. Chances are extremely high that they would never say what we want them to. Altair is right - they are like drugs we need to stop the addiction from. Its very hard, but take comfort in knowing there are a lot of us going through this too. Each day we get through is one step closer to being free.

[Redhead14]

Moment of weakness . . . when you feel that urge to reach out, tell yourself you're being weak. I don't like that feeling and refuse to succumb to it.

 

When you feel that urge, you pick up the phone and call your friends, call your Mom or sister or brother, call and make a hair and nail appointment, a car repair appointment you've been putting off, a doctor appointment. Do anything that is productive and rewarding.

[Chilli]

Yeah , gonna have to be practicing this one my self now ,so l'll drop in and share your tips.

 

One idea l've got. is this belt thing with a rubber mullet on it and a button.

From now on when l weaken and l'm just about to pick up the phone or open kik and start a message , l can press the button and the rubber mullet will swing up and belt me over the head.

 

Good luck.

[1fish2fish]

Another one here, out of a toxic relationship, but wanting to reach out...to his parents - to tell them what really happened. (he turns everything around to blame me). AAACK!!!! I'm a growna$$ woman, too!

 

Just...no.

 

It helps to know we're not alone in this. I feel like I've worn out my friends, so I'm stuck with LS to vent, whine, and grieve to.

 

Thanks for posting this.

[Chilli]

Why,why can't it be fixed, yknow. This is my biggest thing. Why do we have to throw it away.

Why can't we just talk, talk and just fix this.

But,it just doesn't work.