youdunsay Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 This thread addresses to guys who are now using dating app without the sole reason for hook up. So guys, may I ask if you would respond to a girl sending a simple "hi" message on dating app? Why and why not? Thank you
Author youdunsay Posted May 1, 2017 Author Posted May 1, 2017 I don't want to hurt my chances of meeting potential dates by sending the first message. Then again, I have yet to receive any invites and I feel that I should be on "the hunting" mode by sending random 'hi's. I mean this is what guys typically do, isn't it?
salparadise Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 would respond to a girl sending a simple "hi" message on dating app? Why and why not? Hell no. Same reason you wouldn't if a guy sent you the same. If you can't make the effort to send a real message, a few relevant sentences at least, we'd see it for nothing more than what it is.
Author youdunsay Posted May 1, 2017 Author Posted May 1, 2017 Hell no. Same reason you wouldn't if a guy sent you the same. If you can't make the effort to send a real message, a few relevant sentences at least, we'd see it for nothing more than what it is. Really? Shucks. I have sent to more than twenty dozen and now I have to strike them off.
SwordofFlame Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 I would respond if I were interested. I don't receive anywhere near enough first messages to ignore them like many women do if all the first message said was "hi". 1
GunslingerRoland Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 Make sure you have pics on your profile that make you look authentic so they don't think you're a bot, and send a short clear message that you are interested in hooking up. You won't have any lack of responses. "Hi", I can imagine getting ignored.
Erik30 Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 Really? Shucks. I have sent to more than twenty dozen and now I have to strike them off. You pretty much gave the reason why some guys won't reply to that. Girls who just send "hi" usually quickly lose interest after a couple of messages, eventually ignoring them, and expect the guy to do all the work. I used to be okay with it, but not anymore for this reason. I doubt you'll reply to all the guys you said hi to, you'll probably pick the ones you like most (I think at lot of them will send you a message back)
Purepony Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 Yeah right This is all based on looks! You can send an exclamation point and if the girl thinks your good enough you'll get a reply
salparadise Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 I got one the other day that said: "Hello,. Now what?" Typical of women's attitudes about how this is supposed to work. I responded, "Well, I don't know... should I follow up on this intriguing conversation starter?" Poor thing is apparently not being pursued by the multitudes of horny men on the site. She's persistent though... keeps sending "how's your day" messages.
MajesticUnicorn Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 I'm a girl, but use OLD quite a bit and have messaged many people first. Mostly because I'll end up with a hundred matches on Tinder, but only a certain percentage of them bother to message me...and I question what the purpose of even having them in my matches is if they're just going to sit there silently. If I am not feeling creative, I say something like hey handsome, how's your day going? It's at least a bit more to work with than a simple "hi." I use Bumble probably the most out of all OLD so I am forced to message first based on how the app is structured. Normally I try to pull something from their profile, i.e. common interest in a sports team if they're wearing a jersey, or asking where a picture was taken if they're in the mountains, etc. The more personalized the message, the more likely they are to respond in my experience. Granted I am sure you could get guys to respond just by saying hi, most men aren't going to turn down a pretty girl reaching out to them. 1
Author youdunsay Posted May 1, 2017 Author Posted May 1, 2017 I'm not using Tinder because of the reviews that there are statistically more me. interested on hookups than honest meet-ups. So I should add more colour to the introductory messages? How about profile? I've nothing special to write about myself.
Author youdunsay Posted May 1, 2017 Author Posted May 1, 2017 What sort of personalised messages should I send? I don't want to sound like a hooker.
PogoStick Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 Girls hate if a guy would send such a bland 1st message. In fact, it likely would mean he would not get a response. Lucky for you, many guys would respond because any 1st message from a woman is uncommon. However, you can and should do better. Apply the same standard to yourself that you would to a guy. In the first message, say what moved you to contact him. Is he attractive? What specifically, his eyes? smile? muscles? Ask about a picture, where was it taken, what was he doing there?
Lilyana76 Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 I never respond to messages that say "hi" or "hi there sexy". Blah... I always respond to messages that say they read my profile, or at least show a sense of humor. I guess I'm weird though, and probably one of the very few that actually READS profiles. I think most just look at photos.
Jj66 Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 While I prefer a better message, I would respond to "hi" if I liked her profile. The messages that almost always got a response were those that asked a question about one of my pictures or something on my profile. I also very much liked it when she gave me her first name in her message but I can understand why she might want to wait until later to reveal any personal information. For example: Hi, I'm Judy, loved the pic of you in Venice. One of my favorite cities. How long were you there? Hi, I'm Renee, I see you like classical music. I know nothing. Do you have a favorite composer? 2
JuneL Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) I only had a few weeks of experience on OLD, but I have to agree with this. Unlike what was typically given as online dating advice, I also very much preferred a very concise first message (e.g., making a very quick comment on my profile or on one of my pics) than one that was trying way too hard — we were strangers to each other after all. I also put more weight on the guy's profile than on his first message. Finally, I deliberately posted pics in which I dressed more conservatively; so unlike many women, I never had to endure those sexual innuendos from strangers. Also, the guys who messaged me (at least those whose first messages I replied to anyway) seemed to be relationship-oriented. But most guys would still compliment on my looks in their first messages, which made me feel like I was an object. While I prefer a better message, I would respond to "hi" if I liked her profile. The messages that almost always got a response were those that asked a question about one of my pictures or something on my profile. I also very much liked it when she gave me her first name in her message but I can understand why she might want to wait until later to reveal any personal information. For example: Hi, I'm Judy, loved the pic of you in Venice. One of my favorite cities. How long were you there? Hi, I'm Renee, I see you like classical music. I know nothing. Do you have a favorite composer? Edited May 2, 2017 by JuneL
Author youdunsay Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 While I prefer a better message, I would respond to "hi" if I liked her profile. The messages that almost always got a response were those that asked a question about one of my pictures or something on my profile. I also very much liked it when she gave me her first name in her message but I can understand why she might want to wait until later to reveal any personal information. For example: Hi, I'm Judy, loved the pic of you in Venice. One of my favorite cities. How long were you there? Hi, I'm Renee, I see you like classical music. I know nothing. Do you have a favorite composer? Thanks! Very helpful indeed.
GunslingerRoland Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 So I should add more colour to the introductory messages? How about profile? I've nothing special to write about myself. If you can't figure out why other people would want to date you, how do you expect them to figure it out?
MajesticUnicorn Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 I'm not using Tinder because of the reviews that there are statistically more me. interested on hookups than honest meet-ups. So I should add more colour to the introductory messages? How about profile? I've nothing special to write about myself. What sort of personalised messages should I send? I don't want to sound like a hooker. Yeah I understand that, Tinder does kind of have a bad rep. I actually dated a guy for 2 years I met on there, but you do definitely have to weed through some bad eggs to find the ones worth talking to. Like I said, try commenting on one of their pics or something in their profile, here are examples I see a lot: -For me I'm a huge sports fan, so if I see a guy wearing a certain team in his pic I'll say something like "oh you're a x fan, that's a shame You would look better in y jersey" -Does he have any interesting travel pics? Ask where it was taken or say wow x location is beautiful, I also love the mountains (or ocean, or whatever it may be) -Is he playing an instrument in a pic? Ask how long he's played or what type of music he likes to play. -If there is a pet in the pic, ask him about it -If his pictures give you nothing to work with, try to pull something from his profile description. Does he say he enjoys hiking, or drinking coffee, or works as x profession for a living? Ask him about it and find a way to connect with him. As far as a profile description goes...it's hard for us to tell you what to write because we don't know you. What I generally include is some kind of funny line/anecdote, and then share interesting info about myself. Some things you can include (not necessarily ALL of these): what you do for fun, favorite sports teams or music genre or anything like that, what you do for a living...etc. It honestly depends on the dating site you're using though, cause some allow for more elaboration where as others it's better to just include a few details about yourself and keep it straight and to the point. 1
Author youdunsay Posted May 5, 2017 Author Posted May 5, 2017 No replies. No replies from any of my filtered-down potentials after one month?
Miss Spider Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 Any guy who said he won't respond to a hi from a girl he thinks is cute I call bull lol 1
Author youdunsay Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 Online dating must be a waste of money for majority of the people.
PegNosePete Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 Online dating must be a waste of money for majority of the people. No, for the majority of people it is simply a waste of time, because they use a free site. Well, not really a "waste" either. More like a bad usage. They put up some bad pics and write some terrible blabber and expect the Hot Chick Fairy to rain down girls on them from above. OLD is not a waste of time in itself, but they are wasting their own time by putting in a half effort and expecting good results. If you invest your time properly then you can get good results and your time is not wasted.
Author youdunsay Posted May 9, 2017 Author Posted May 9, 2017 Or perhaps OLD rained a downpour of girls on them but men were overwhelmed and not sure who to pick?
PegNosePete Posted May 9, 2017 Posted May 9, 2017 Or perhaps OLD rained a downpour of girls on them but men were overwhelmed and not sure who to pick? Perhaps, but on this world, the sky is blue!
Recommended Posts