Third date - no kiss? Wtf

[Popsicle]

I've never dated outside my type.

[d0nnivain]

If you aren't attracted to the person no matter what, you are going to have a hard time wanting to kiss them.

 

 

I have tried dating guys where I had no spark. Those were short lived. If I really couldn't see myself kissing the guy it was usually one & done. on the few occasions where I let the kiss happen anyway I have distinct memories of standing there wondering when it would be over. I prefer to get lost in the kiss & have the whole world melt away.

 

 

I kept insisting I didn't have a type either until a friend strung together a few photos of my EXs & laid them out side by side. With about 2 notable exceptions they were all dark hair, light eyes & roughly the same size. if somebody else looked at them, they would have no trouble believing the guys were all related. So gee. . . I have a type & married the same guy.

 

 

Beyond looks the guys were somewhat varied although all were well educated, well spoken & had dry, dark senses of humor.

[Dis]

Thanks, girl. This makes so muchsense. What everyone here has said makes a lot of sense. Thank you for the insight everyone

 

I'm really struggling now because I found out this guy REALLY likes me. Now, don't get me wrong, I like him, but I don't feel that attracted to him. I think it's a lot like that thread you made awhile back on that guy, D.

 

I feel like I'm trying hard to 'trick' my mind to think outside of what I am attracted to. And it's not working like I thought. I have to get drunk before I'm thinking "maybe I do wanna kiss this guy I'm dating" NOT good, right? You shouldn't have to intellectualize that. Ahhh

 

But now I have a dilemma because I (unfortunately) said on the first date if I'm not interested I tell people "were just not a match" Now I have to give that 'speech' to him. Even though after our first date he said hopefully I didn't have to give him that speech.

 

NO MORE No more going out with guys I'm not attracted to physically. It just does not work. Different personality? Sure. And I recommend that for people who find themselves falling into the same 'trap'. But no attraction??? It's just guys I'm attracted are just so hard to find :cry:

 

Oh ya, theres no point in dating a guy you're not attracted to. Thats just an icky feeling

 

But as long as you're attracted to the guy...who cares if he's your type or not. I always went for dark haired guys, lots of muscle, tall But I've dated blondes that werent in great shape and I was still attracted to them

 

Dont worry about giving him the 'speech'. Its better than stringing him along right? Just send him a nice, simple text and be done with it

 

I know how much it sucks to meet a really nice guy whos really into you but you dont feel the same way in return. I wish we could will ourselves into being head over heels but it doesnt work that way

 

I think you know what you want and maybe you shouldnt compromise. Sure you'll have less dates but at least you wont have to be in this situtation

 

You gave it your best shot. You kept an open mind. Thats all you can do. I'd send him the 'speech' as soon as possible and move on

[preraph]

He has no marachas. I don't see why someone would even bother to go on a date and then tell the woman he'll never make a move. I mean, it's one thing to be a little awkward but make an effort to overcome it. This dude has just given up and he will be waiting for a woman to land in his lap for a very long time.

 

Cookies, I somehow just can't see you with a guy you could knock over with a feather. I mean, leading a guy like that around isn't much more fun than babysitting your little brother.

[Josh123]

I think he was shy, but then again what do I know.. I'm only 15

[smackie9]

It's not really a "type" you are attracted...now take notes guys....you are attracted to the act of confidence! Plain and simple confidence. The guy is a coward, cowards attracts 0 women. I have been on dates with a guy I find attractive, but get quickly turned off when the get all sensitive, wimpy, nervous and weak. And then they wonder what just happen when I get totally turned off. *roll eyes*

Edited May 7, 2017 by smackie9

[KBob]

Only date people you're attracted to. There will be some that are not your "type", but for some reason (maybe even something you can't pinpoint) you will be attracted to them. Don't overthink attraction, if it's there you'll know it.

[VeveCakes]

Some women pick bad man. They are encouraged to date against type because their type is usually bad news.

 

 

To explain it using your pizza analogy: a woman who repeatedly orders a pizza with green peppers but is allergic to green peppers & routinely gets sick after eating them is encouraged to try say a Pepperoni slice on the theory that she may enjoy it more.

 

In this regard they should be dating a different personality, not a different body type.

 

Try again OP but look for a different personality.