SaintKlaires Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 I always seem to attract women in my life whether it's a friend or otherwise or someone I'm interested in who are constantly surrounded by men and who love to flirt and lead other men on.Is there something wrong that I'm doing that's leading to this ?
Titanll Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 If they are only friends, who cares. If you are dating them, address the problem. No one is twisting your arm to date them, right? I mean, other than you saying that they are surrounded by men, you haven't really stated the problem. What's the problem? 4
Hopeful30 Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 *Puts on smart glasses* The subconscious mind has a particular mechanism at play when it comes to attraction. Whether or not you allow these women to catch your attention, or you are drawn to them, the fact is this: this pattern is an outwardly reflection of an inner mechanism that recognizes and finds allure in these kinds of women. It could stem from early blueprints in your psychology that identify attraction, love, and female roles with these particular qualities (women who flirt, are always surrounded by men.) You are encouraged to look at the relationships with early female figures (mother, teachers, caregivers of sorts, etc.) This could also be a typical male instinct by which women who are always surrounded by men are more desirable, and thus there is a stronger urge to be competitive and 'win the prize' above all others. *Takes off smart glasses* Maybe the problem isn't the women themselves, but the fact that you are attracted to alpha-females who have high sex drives, are very attractive and, as a result, are surrounded by lots of men. The other women who are 'friends' are put in that category solely because you are not attracted to them. You could simply be attracted to very desirable women, many of whom happy to be flirty, surrounded by men and very aware of their desirability. 1
Author SaintKlaires Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 If they are only friends, who cares. If you are dating them, address the problem. No one is twisting your arm to date them, right? I mean, other than you saying that they are surrounded by men, you haven't really stated the problem. What's the problem? I should've gone more in depth into the problem then, I've met this girl a long time back who I had seen as kind of special I asked her out for dinner and I've gone out with her many times. We used to text each other every day almost every time and when I told her I'm harboring feelings for her she immediately shot me down saying she'd like to think of me as just friends. I kept in touch with her for a while and later I found out there were many other men who confessed her feelings for her and she shot them down Then I looked at all my female friends I realized they're all the type who go to dinner with many many different men and some of the men confessed feelings and were shot down by my female friends. Which got me thinking basically every women in my life whether I like them or look at them as friends live that way. I'm trying to get to the bottom of why does that happen to me
Author SaintKlaires Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 *Puts on smart glasses* The subconscious mind has a particular mechanism at play when it comes to attraction. Whether or not you allow these women to catch your attention, or you are drawn to them, the fact is this: this pattern is an outwardly reflection of an inner mechanism that recognizes and finds allure in these kinds of women. It could stem from early blueprints in your psychology that identify attraction, love, and female roles with these particular qualities (women who flirt, are always surrounded by men.) You are encouraged to look at the relationships with early female figures (mother, teachers, caregivers of sorts, etc.) This could also be a typical male instinct by which women who are always surrounded by men are more desirable, and thus there is a stronger urge to be competitive and 'win the prize' above all others. *Takes off smart glasses* Maybe the problem isn't the women themselves, but the fact that you are attracted to alpha-females who have high sex drives, are very attractive and, as a result, are surrounded by lots of men. The other women who are 'friends' are put in that category solely because you are not attracted to them. You could simply be attracted to very desirable women, many of whom happy to be flirty, surrounded by men and very aware of their desirability. Thanks, That's really going to go a long way in helping me figure the entire thing out. I've written the entire situation in detail in the previous post. If you could care to reply to that with your smart glasses on I would deeply appreciate that 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 It's very simple. Whatever you find attractive, other men do too. People go on about beauty and personality being unique and different things being attractive to different people but the reality is, there is a certain look and personality traits that are attractive to a majority of people. Even girls that you like enough to be friends with, it means that you at least find their personality appealing. In summary, you like conventionally attractive traits (women that are bubbly, outgoing, confident, flirty and hot). 1
PegNosePete Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 Then I looked at all my female friends I realized they're all the type who go to dinner with many many different men and some of the men confessed feelings and were shot down by my female friends. I'm struggling to see how this is different than the normal dating process. Most people (both men and women) go on dates with many different people before finding someone they share a mutual attraction and mutual desire to form a relationship with. Before they find a mutual match, chances are they will go through several, or many, non-mutual ones. When a match is non-mutual, one party will express a desire to take it further and the other will "shoot them down". If they deliberately lead the men on to get free dinners then they are not decent people, but that's fairly common too. I'm not really seeing the problem here. You're not dating these women, they're just friends, right?
Author SaintKlaires Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 If they deliberately lead the men on That's kind of what I'm getting at
PegNosePete Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 That's kind of what I'm getting at Well, considering they are your friends rather than people you are dating, I guess you have a couple of options. 1) Laugh with them about how the men they take for a ride are so gullible 2) Cut them off as friends because they are not decent people 3) Just let them get on with doing whatever they want to do when they date, and just concentrate on your own friendship If you encounter such a woman that you are dating then you should just move on -- and learn how to spot them sooner. Which given that you have some perfect examples as friends to study, you should be able to learn their behaviour patterns. 1
Author SaintKlaires Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 I'm struggling to see how this is different than the normal dating process. Most people (both men and women) go on dates with many different people before finding someone they share a mutual attraction and mutual desire to form a relationship with. Before they find a mutual match, chances are they will go through several, or many, non-mutual ones. When a match is non-mutual, one party will express a desire to take it further and the other will "shoot them down". If they deliberately lead the men on to get free dinners then they are not decent people, but that's fairly common too. I'm not really seeing the problem here. You're not dating these women, they're just friends, right? Well, considering they are your friends rather than people you are dating, I guess you have a couple of options. 1) Laugh with them about how the men they take for a ride are so gullible 2) Cut them off as friends because they are not decent people 3) Just let them get on with doing whatever they want to do when they date, and just concentrate on your own friendship If you encounter such a woman that you are dating then you should just move on -- and learn how to spot them sooner. Which given that you have some perfect examples as friends to study, you should be able to learn their behaviour patterns. That Helped alot. I guess part of it could have to do with the fact that I don't live in western society, so my culture is probably very different. I don't speak my ethnic language and I've been brought up speaking English and watching english shows, so my perception of culture is kind of skewered What I'm trying to get at is that they're not really after free food, They just get a kick out of the fact that many men are taking interest in them so they go out dinners with a lot of men keeping that line between friendship and something serious blurry
OatsAndHall Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 It doesn't sound like she is an "alpha female" as she has guy friends but doesn't date them. I think she is more of a tomboy, to be honest. Some women just click better with men than women and it doesn't necessarily need to be because they are seeking attention. I have a few female friends that have more male friends than women for a variety of reasons. One of them grew up with four brothers and has just ended up as "one of the guys" over the years. Another simply enjoys "male hobbies"; hunting, fishing, going to the shooting range, etc..etc.. But, in all reality, none of this matters as you're not dating her. I really don't know why you're attracted to them. But, I am more attracted to these kinds of women as they tend to be low-maintenance for me. It's pretty easy to figure out which ones have a hovering circle of men because they enjoy the attention and the ones that just enjoy the company.
mortensorchid Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 Does she have a lot of women friends as well? Or have you even noticed? I for one do not have a lot of women friends, I mostly have guy friends. Why is this the case? Because women are jealous and want everything for themselves. In preschool we try to teach children to share with the other children, but men are more group oriented than women are. They learn to play sports and work together as a team / group rather than women do. Don't believe me? Why are girls such Mean Girls to each other? One woman who I thought was my friend said that she would not invite me to parties with her or even friend me on Facebook because that took away from her chances of meeting men. Hell, if this woman knew that I had a lot of guy friends, she would include me in a minute. Many women who have a lot of guy friends do this because they don't have women friends. What else are you going to do if you want companionship? I learned once and for all never to rely on a woman to do anything that doesn't have anything in it for her in that department.
kendahke Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 I always seem to attract women in my life whether it's a friend or otherwise or someone I'm interested in who are constantly surrounded by men and who love to flirt and lead other men on.Is there something wrong that I'm doing that's leading to this ? You're not putting them down at the first sign of this. One keeps attracting the same character in different bodies until they learn the lesson these characters come into their lives to teach. One you learn what you're supposed to learn, you won't attract these characters anymore. 1
preraph Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 She's popular probably because she's attractive and has a good personality, and so all the guys like her and she can't keep everyone happy and date them all, so she gets to pick and choose. Now, why she is going out getting free meals with you, only you would know if you misrepresented yourself as only a friend at first and she believed you or whether she likes to use guys for free meals. Most women do not do that. The only two I've known who did were sex workers. So I'm guessing she trusted you were just a friend. You have to realize this, though: Even if all the other guys lost interest in her and fell away, that would not mean she would date you or become attracted to you as anything more than what she has already said, just a friend. It doesn't work that way with women. They either are or they're not. So it's best to find out early if they are attracted or not by not only asking them on a date and making sure they know it's a date but also kissing them at the end of the night and see if they like it or not. There's nothing to be gained from taking a woman out and then waiting to see what happens. Get it over with and then move on if she doesn't want to kiss you and have you as a real boyfriend.
Titanll Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 Welcome to the world of competition... No one here can help you become the man that gets the girl. Never been friend-zoned before and never will be. It's a choice...simple as that.
Silverstring Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 We should all get rid of the phrase "the people I attract". It's just too passive and casts you in the light of a victim. These are the women you're attracted to. Own it. Then you can do something about it if you want. 2
WaitingForBardot Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 We should all get rid of the phrase "the people I attract". It's just too passive and casts you in the light of a victim. These are the women you're attracted to. Own it. Then you can do something about it if you want. These are two completely different things and which one might be the culprit for any given individual varies with their specific circumstances. I've been really, really lucky myself if for no other reason than these two, separate cohorts overlap to a significant degree. What would be too passive would be to only date those that were attracted to you at the expense others you might actually desire more.
Hopeful30 Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 I should've gone more in depth into the problem then, I've met this girl a long time back who I had seen as kind of special I asked her out for dinner and I've gone out with her many times. We used to text each other every day almost every time and when I told her I'm harboring feelings for her she immediately shot me down saying she'd like to think of me as just friends. I kept in touch with her for a while and later I found out there were many other men who confessed her feelings for her and she shot them down Then I looked at all my female friends I realized they're all the type who go to dinner with many many different men and some of the men confessed feelings and were shot down by my female friends. Which got me thinking basically every women in my life whether I like them or look at them as friends live that way. I'm trying to get to the bottom of why does that happen to me Perhaps these women have friendzoned you, or are not attracted to the type of man that you are. Naturally we surround ourselves with people who are like us, so if your friends are like you, then maybe you all fit in the same category, which could be why these women are not interested. It could also be the women themselves, either they're not looking or they're very picky. Nothing wrong with either, but that fact that this concerns you speaks to something deeper. Are you longing to find a longterm partner? Could this be why there is frustration with being unable to find one you like?
fromheart Posted May 6, 2017 Posted May 6, 2017 I always seem to attract women in my life whether it's a friend or otherwise or someone I'm interested in who are constantly surrounded by men and who love to flirt and lead other men on.Is there something wrong that I'm doing that's leading to this ? You're choosing women with the traits that you don't want, probably keeping them in your life because they have some but not all of the traits you are looking for. Learn to say no, and pick someone with the same perspectives on relationships as you.
smackie9 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 To avoid this crap, make your intentions clear that you do want to have a sexual relationship with them and you are not looking for "friendship". That will clear up a lot of the "being lead on". If you are all that and a bag of chips to them...she will get rid of all those orbiters. 3
hercules22 Posted May 8, 2017 Posted May 8, 2017 To avoid this crap, make your intentions clear that you do want to have a sexual relationship with them and you are not looking for "friendship". That will clear up a lot of the "being lead on". If you are all that and a bag of chips to them...she will get rid of all those orbiters. 100 percent
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