Fresnite Posted April 30, 2017 Posted April 30, 2017 Hello, So i met this chick in college the other day. She was sitting by herself in the hall way just waiting. I approach her (fyi it was not a smooth approach) but she took interest and i sat down with her and we talked. I first complimented her beauty, a few minutes in i offered to leave and she said no its fine. We talked for 2 hours, I had her phone number within first 40 minutes. She kept glancing at mms sometimes longingly, a few moment's of silence occurred and we would just look at rather and smile. I feel she was into me at least some. She revealed some heavy personal stuff and even admitted that she knows you are not supposed to confide that early on or it might push the person away. TBH this girl is so freaking hot and she can hold a great conversation, it dont bother me about her past or any of her family past. But here is the kicker. She said she isn't dating anyone, but she does date. She told me she is seeing two guys already. She is 18. She said she is trying to figure out what she wants and what she likes. She had sent me several pictures already and has already let me take a picture of her on our first meeting other. I need help in knowing how to compete for her attention and to win her over from the other two guys. She tells me she is not a big texter, so her texts are scarce. I asked if we could talk on the phone and she said after she is done cleaning and i can call her later. She sent that text to me around 11:30pm at night and i sent my text at 10pm and was asleep by 1030pm. Thanks
Shanex Posted April 30, 2017 Posted April 30, 2017 Man, she's young and so you are. She's obviously 'looking around' without any intention to commitment right now. Trying to win her over two guys that she is already sleeping with won't be easy. It's college, its fun times, outside of tough classes and exams, the alcohol, the weed and the sex. I don't think that girl is ready to settle with you. 4
RecentChange Posted April 30, 2017 Posted April 30, 2017 She likes attention. And no idea what her heavy family and personal issues are - but they often manifest in more attention seeking behavior. She is young, I am guessing you are college freshmen? The odds of snagging her and making her ignore other's attention are kinda slim - but you could try. Take her out, show her a wonderful time. Try to connect with her. Let her know that you want to know HER, not simply that she is "hot" every other guy sees that, and she probably hears it. Find something else about her to cherish. 2
Author Fresnite Posted April 30, 2017 Author Posted April 30, 2017 Man, she's young and so you are. She's obviously 'looking around' without any intention to commitment right now. Trying to win her over two guys that she is already sleeping with won't be easy. It's college, its fun times, outside of tough classes and exams, the alcohol, the weed and the sex. I don't think that girl is ready to settle with you. What makes you say or think she is having sex with any or both of those guys? Other people in my life have said that to, but why?
wtfmate Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 She told you she is trying to figure out what she wants and what she likes. This is not a person that you would "win over." She just wants to date, not be in a committed relationship. If this is not something you want, move on. 1
SirRamalot Posted May 1, 2017 Posted May 1, 2017 What the others say is true. If she say she still finding herself it just mean she aint ready 2 settle down. Is u looking 4 commitment? If yes then i say pursue her in this competition if deep down you really feel like she is it. P.s. her calling u at 11 at night is a good sign imo. Haha 2
Shanex Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 What makes you say or think she is having sex with any or both of those guys? Other people in my life have said that to, but why? Admittedly a blind assumption, yet if she isn't sleeping with them, or only with one of them, wouldn't you assume there's still something going on there? By the way: What the others say is true. If she say she still finding herself it just mean she aint ready 2 settle down. Is u looking 4 commitment? If yes then i say pursue her in this competition if deep down you really feel like she is it. P.s. her calling u at 11 at night is a good sign imo. Haha Aye! Especially the last sentence. If you are looking for sex, and nothing more and you find her hawt enough, then good. The girl calling at 11pm wants a booty call, or is drunk, or bored. Or the all three.
Author Fresnite Posted May 2, 2017 Author Posted May 2, 2017 Admittedly a blind assumption, yet if she isn't sleeping with them, or only with one of them, wouldn't you assume there's still something going on there? By the way: Aye! Especially the last sentence. If you are looking for sex, and nothing more and you find her hawt enough, then good. The girl calling at 11pm wants a booty call, or is drunk, or bored. Or the all three. Well get this. The other night I asked her around 10pm if we could talk on the phone that night since she is not a big texter and does not have texting conversations. She always replies minimum 30 minutes later or roughly. One day she didnt respond at all and i didnt send another text, about 26 hours later she sent a text saying she was sorry she never responded. Anyways i ask if we can talk on the phone around 10pm i ask, she replies 15 minutes later and says yes maybe later. I said ok, you'll let me know or just call? She said she will let me know. I waited till 12:40 am more than 2 hours, i was tired so i went to sleep. I woke up next morning seeing she sent me a text at 1:05 am saying "ok ready" like daaaaammnnn lol Im not gonna lie this chick is hot af, like some exotic beauty. Its funny tbh that i can play it cool. Its so hard, but it works. She chases me as much as i chase her. I feel im out of her league. She probably just looking for the D lmao.
Shanex Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 If I was in your shoes and especially if she's really gorgeous, go for it, you don't have much to lose. Wear a rubber, don't get too emotionally invested... and turns this into a FWB. Isn't it the point of being young? Have sex beside the damned class and teachers ? Enjoy. 3
PegNosePete Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 Why on earth are you asking her if you can talk to her on the phone? Like talking to her is some kind of special privilege or favour that she deigns to allow you or something? Just call her up dude. If she answers, talk. If not, leave a message and wait for her to call you back. If she never calls you back, she's not interested. Stop putting her on such a pedestal. The sun does not shine out of her... eyes. You are chasing her so hard and I bet she is loving the ego boost and attention. She is dating and potentially doing a lot more with 2 or probably more guys. The way to stand out from the crowd and show that you have a high value is to NOT chase her so much and NOT act like every other guy in the world does, acting like a puppy dog lapping up every scrap of attention that she throws your way. Show you have value, that you're a prize SHE Should be fighting for. The way to do that is not NOT chase her. Also, date others, like she is. Never make someone a priority when they only see you as an option. 2
CptInsano Posted May 2, 2017 Posted May 2, 2017 Simply accept her for what she is, she seems pretty upfront about it. You never know what develops. But you have to know yourself, would you be okay with something casual? 3
Author Fresnite Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Why on earth are you asking her if you can talk to her on the phone? Like talking to her is some kind of special privilege or favour that she deigns to allow you or something? Just call her up dude. If she answers, talk. If not, leave a message and wait for her to call you back. If she never calls you back, she's not interested. Stop putting her on such a pedestal. The sun does not shine out of her... eyes. You are chasing her so hard and I bet she is loving the ego boost and attention. She is dating and potentially doing a lot more with 2 or probably more guys. The way to stand out from the crowd and show that you have a high value is to NOT chase her so much and NOT act like every other guy in the world does, acting like a puppy dog lapping up every scrap of attention that she throws your way. Show you have value, that you're a prize SHE Should be fighting for. The way to do that is not NOT chase her. Also, date others, like she is. Never make someone a priority when they only see you as an option. I appreciate this response, all very true. Interestingly I'm not chasing that hard as you think. It's about a 1 to 1 text ratio. I have already not responded after awhile and she initiated a text. Also She even apologized after 26 hours from not responding to one of my texts. I am seeing another girl lmao. But i didn't share that with you guys or her cause it has nothing to do with her. She's chasing me back by the way. She's into me. It Seems like she is actually trying to play ultra cool. But She let's it slip out slightly of her fondness of me. It's just i never been with a girl before who dated multiple people. Someone told me she might have been lieing about that. Personally i believe it though. But I'm Alpha believe it or not. I'm just young, curious, and like opinions. Also there's this 3rd girl in one of my class that is not a primary choice for me, but she's into me. Poor pathetic girl is desperate. So if I need a booty call whatever. I like dealing with this other chick because it's different and i like the torn and confused feeling somewhat.
Author Fresnite Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Simply accept her for what she is, she seems pretty upfront about it. You never know what develops. But you have to know yourself, would you be okay with something casual? Thanks for that. Her being upfront about it and giving 100% clear sign she is into me. I do not get mixed signals from her. Yeah, I'm cool with that. Sometimes something casual can turn into something more, maybe much more. As well it can just fizzle and die. Than i move onto a different babe.
Popsicle Posted May 3, 2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Young girls say a lot of dumb things that they don't know better not to say. I interpret her comment about dating a couple of guys and trying to figure out what she wants to mean that she is looking for the right guy to be in a committed relationship with, but she isn't convinced on any of them yet. Now you are the 3rd guy in the mix. 1
Author Fresnite Posted May 3, 2017 Author Posted May 3, 2017 Young girls say a lot of dumb things that they don't know better not to say. I interpret her comment about dating a couple of guys and trying to figure out what she wants to mean that she is looking for the right guy to be in a committed relationship with, but she isn't convinced on any of them yet. Now you are the 3rd guy in the mix. That is so positive and encouraging. For only knowing each other for like 5 days now, we can both tell we like each other. But now, i actually got to get her to go on a date with me. ... 1
Author Fresnite Posted May 4, 2017 Author Posted May 4, 2017 Ok so a few new revelations. She admitted to me I am in the running for a romantic relationship with her and she likes me etc. I came across her usual spot and a guy was chatting her up, like she was sitting down and he was looming over her. She smiled at me, i waved she waved back. I said hi [her name] she jyst said hi. I gave her a thing of donut holes, she said thanks and i left. I texted her if that's one of the guys she is seeing and she said yes, she hasn't hung out with him for weeks, She said "i don't know... he's Ok" Before i left the college i passed by 30 minutes later he was still there sitting in a chair near her and i heard her laughing good. This is exactly how my first time with her went is we sat there talking. My problem is, should have I invited myself to sit down with them and hang out, or did i do the right thing and walked away? I did text her after she responded if she wants me to come back and ill kick him off the table, was that bad?
todreaminblue Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 did she actually say you are in the running? exact words please...and you did the right thing by walking away it would have been pretty awkward if you had sat down..........deb 1
Author Fresnite Posted May 4, 2017 Author Posted May 4, 2017 did she actually say you are in the running? exact words please...and you did the right thing by walking away it would have been pretty awkward if you had sat down..........deb "I am sorry if I don't respond everytime or don't always call when you want me to.. but I told you my time was very precious to me and I spent hours with you. I know you like me but this is how it will be if you want to pursue a romantic relationship with me. I was excited to get to know you too but people around me have to understand that." That Is her exact message from earlier today.
todreaminblue Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 (edited) "I am sorry if I don't respond everytime or don't always call when you want me to.. but I told you my time was very precious to me and I spent hours with you. I know you like me but this is how it will be if you want to pursue a romantic relationship with me. I was excited to get to know you too but people around me have to understand that." That Is her exact message from earlier today. how do you feel about that message...... personally the buts really say it all..... i am sorry i dont respond everytime BUT i know you like me BUT this is classic.....i WAS excited to get to know you BUT...... WAS should be AM all of this in one message and its a whole pile of negativity for you buts shouldnt be there and at no time doses she ask you what you would like..or is that okay...or a nice" ill try to give you some more time" and then she laughs and jokes for hours with another.........she doesnt care you follow her rules or you will be reading BUT it will BE THE word you read alot.....and WAS.....she is warning you basically...fall in line or its goodbye......shake it up op...... do a pre emptive strike...tell her to get in contact with you when she has more time to spare because you are quite busy yourself..... wish her well..your response to get rid of the guy she was chatting too may have put her off....who knows...she is showing you disinterest you arent a front runner......i would say close to last in line....WAS excited says it all...deb Edited May 4, 2017 by todreaminblue 3
PegNosePete Posted May 4, 2017 Posted May 4, 2017 "I am sorry if I don't respond everytime or don't always call when you want me to.. but I told you my time was very precious to me and I spent hours with you. I know you like me but this is how it will be if you want to pursue a romantic relationship with me. I was excited to get to know you too but people around me have to understand that." Wow. She sounds like she has a serious superiority complex. Otherwise known as the princess syndrome. She thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread and everyone else in the world should be in awe and forever grateful that she spends 5 minutes of her valuable time talking to them. That's how it sounds to me, anyway. She has told you flat out that if you are in a relationship with her, she will carry on flirting and/or seeing other guys. If you're looking for a relationship, look elsewhere. If you're looking for a bit of fun, carry on, but don't get emotionally invested, she's told you exactly where you stand. 2
Author Fresnite Posted May 4, 2017 Author Posted May 4, 2017 Thank you both. i was also hoping for this guys opinion also. If he is out there. Enjoy.
Shanex Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 Thank you both. i was also hoping for this guys opinion also. If he is out there. Hiyo Fresnite, I think Deb and Pete above your post summed it up already. She has a very high opinion of herself, and that message not only lukewarm is downright rude. My time is precious and using the past tense about you isn't engaging to the least. Sorry, even if she is as gorgeous as you've described, move on, pursuing her either for a romance or a casual fling most likely will have her lead you on for nothing. I'm also seeing a self entitled princess that the poor mortal you are aren't worth her time. Have some self-respect, and keep looking. 3
Author Fresnite Posted May 5, 2017 Author Posted May 5, 2017 Please read the entirety and know the back story from prior posts, please leave a meaningful comment, this is a weird situation and it's all true, but i seriously am asking for advice. Ok, another update actually 2 updates. When i posted that last thing, she called me an hour later and we talked from 10 to 12 midnight. So that night i found her with that dude an hour after she called me. It was decent, she said to me.... "I font mean you to take this the wrong way, but i see you as a friend." I joked and said "of great so I'm in the friend zone" and she said "No" she said i am a great listener and very understanding. She said she is going to give me a chance. Ok, So that was then. Yesterday When i met her at her usual spot she arrived already talking on the phone. She sat down with me and stayed on the phone an additional 20 minutes. I was working on school work so no big deal. She got off the phone and was looking sad. I asked her if she is alright and she said yes just tired. Well We had some small talk and then i began to tell her what i want out of this since she has told me hers. One of the things i mentioned is i want someone in my corner, you know be there for me and by my side. I can't remember if i told you guys about her brother or not. .... but he has severe mental issues and he actually is in a mental hospital for stabbing someone at his college a few years back. She brought this up to me our first meeting because she said i would probably find out anyways so she wanted me aware. This Is what's messed up is i actually know her brother, i was locked up with him in the jail a few years back when that happened. Don't worry about me, i did something stupid and it was a misdemeanor and i was 17 at the time. Anyways. .....i was cool with her brother. He was so naive and mentally ill, people took advantage of him all the time, he got extorted and i actually put a protective shield around him and tried to help him, no lie. He was gay. He Even got raped and i was the one who told the police, yeah yeah what ever about snitches that's stupid, the kid got raped. Anyways i confided in her about it, i asked her how she felt and her response was this. "Im not going to be seeing multiple people anymore, it's to much drama and everyone is blowing up my phone talking about a competition, and complaining why are you seeing him again you already saw him once this week it's my turn. " So She said she is done with that, but that was a weird reply when i just told her, i was in jail with her brother? Lol. So we talked about the guy situation a little bit, then i went back to her brother and asked what she thought about that, she then replied. "This is the thing, i can't get involved romantically with a guy who already knows my brother. " I asked why, She responded, but i was like is he dangerous and might do something to me, she said "no" i was like he would do something to you and she said "i know for a fact he would" she said he is still family and loves him, even though she is afraid. She said family comes first, here is her reply to my question. "Its complicated, i need to meet a guy that my brother doesn't know because i need to teach them how to talk to him and interact with him." Ok i am going to say my own paraphrase, she needs to teach someone who doesn't know her brother because of his mental illness and being gay, he thinks you are into him and that you like him and are coming onto him. So He is jealous, by you being with his sister. Apparently She can't tell me stuff because it's still in the court system, but after some evasive talking, i believe i figured it out. She told me "I can't even be with my sons father, that i love and it hurts me till this day" because he knows her brother. Honestly these are my two thoughts, her brother stabbed her babies dad, or second her brother stabbed one of her other sisters boyfriends. Her child is 2, so the timeline of when it happened fits, she would have been about 2-4 months pregnant. And She told me her brother is not cured yet, if he was, me and her could be together, but she said that's not the case. I was like can i visit your brother, she looked surprised and said yes and told me where he is hospitalized and the times, she told me he is very manipulative and even though he appears mental ill he has a high IQ and can control and manipulate people. But When i told her i will visit him she said, "That won't help or change anything" Then We had more talk and i got on some deep love romantic stuff, first off, i do not know why i like this girl so much, there are so many red flags. But i feel things happen for a reason. That day i approached her in college, i have never randomly approached a girl and talked for 2+ hours straight, there was something about her that drew me to approach her, also i shouldn't of been there, i was going to leave college early that day, was going to leave an hour before i met her, as i was almost in my car i got a call from the chairperson of my math class asking where i was, i said leaving, she said don't or i can't resolve your issue, you must stay if you want help. So i stayed, and after the issue was resolved, i was hungry for a vending machine item, only one vending machine in the ENTIRE college has it and it was the one all the way at the other end to where i was, so i walk there and i see the girl there by herself at the table, I'm like she's cute, so i get to the machine it doesn't work with my one card, it's stuck, so i walk back pass her and i look back we catch a glance of eye contact, I'm like damn i want to say something to her, but i keep walking and thinking i want to say something, then I'm like i can't walk back a 3rd time, so i circled around several hall ways and justified it by trying my second card in the vending machine. So i pass her the same way my 3rd time, almost passing her when i asked her if she is waiting for anyone, she shook her head no and glanced out the window and then back at me. I then asked her if i can sit down and I'm out of breath lol. But then i said i wanted to chat up a beautiful girl. And that's where it started. But Then finding out i befriended her mental ill brother in jail, COME THE F ON, is that not coincidence? Don't things happen for a reason? I swear i never approached a girl before like i did her, i felt compelled to. But the deep stuff toward the end with her was, i complimented her eyes staring into them telling her how deep and piercing they are. She seemed sad this whole time and that's when i showed her my contact picture on my phone for her, she let me take one the first day we met after a few protests then gave in with a huge smile. She wore a very sexy outfit that first day where i could have taken a full body picture, i didn't i only took it from shoulder up. Great smile. I showed her that picture and looked into her eyes saying you see that beautiful smile, you see it? I want to make you smile like that every day. She was looking into my eyes too. Talked a little more, she has been just looking down at the table or floor mostly this whole time. RIGHT HERE IS WHERE I NEED THE MOST HELP. All of a sudden after i paused for a few seconds, she said in a low voice, "Please just leave" I was like what? She said "Please just go" I started packing up my things and asked her if i will see her again, she shook her head yes. I asked her if she was ok, she said again. "Please just leave. " i said ok, promise to text me when you get home right? She shook her head yes. She never texted me. I texted her good morning today with no reply, but that's kinda usual. So I'm not sure if she wanted me to go because she was emotionally over loaded or if she wanted me to leave cause one of her other guys were coming. I Don't know. Is it most likely she was creeped out by me or maybe she really was overwhelmed? Another thing to note to is i told her that I've talked with friends and co-workers about her seeing multiple guys and everyone told me to move on and run. Was that bad to? Thanks for reading. WHAT MOST BUGS ME, IS she said we could be together if her brother was cured. She ALSO SAID... SHE LIKES ME EVEN MORE FOR PROTECTING HER BROTHER AND BEING HIS FRIEND. I'm So confused and lost and sad so much right now. I needed to vent.
rester Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 I understand the need to vent here but holy smokes, this is over and if you don't stop trying to contact her you will only push her farther away. According to your posts she has told you at least 3 times she is not interested in a romantic relationship with you. Take the hint. All this other stuff about her brother was you grasping for straws...anything to get her to like you. She likes you as a friend only. If you keep pushing her she is going to get seriously irritated with you. Leave her alone. It's over. 1
todreaminblue Posted May 5, 2017 Posted May 5, 2017 (edited) i read the above whole post...this girl isnt for you......you re bordering on obsession if not straight out obsession...i even feel she may be a little scared of you and my opinion of her has changed some what.if ti were m emajor alarms would be going off in my head if you did what you have done to her......you need to leave her alone and concentrate on your schooling ......you saved her brother from being raped in goal you did good.... now do good again and respect this girl when she asks you to stay away.....its the thing that you can do thats right to do.....she doesnt want a relationship with you you have to believe her and it is not goign to happen.....not in this lifetime.....move on concentrate on maths and get a good mark....do well at school o runi where ever you are so that you meet and mix with people who have some goals and dreams in life......you yourself arent ready for a relationship yet...far from it.....you need to work on some issues you have so that one day you will make a good partner for someone..........i wish you peace and i wish you well...deb Edited May 5, 2017 by todreaminblue 2
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