***My Real Estate Agent???***

[GunslingerRoland]

I've never heard of a real estate agent for renting before. I'm fascinated. Do you just pay him up front in cash? How much does this service cost?

 

Because I'm thinking no one is going to pay thousands of dollars for this, but why would the real estate agent when he could be making thousands on a house sale?

 

Anyway, back on topic, I'd always be weary with sales people, their whole lively hood revolves around them being likable, friendly, flattering. I'm not saying you shouldn't take a chance with him, just do be cautious because that falseness can sometimes flow over into their everyday lives.

[tetrahedral]

I've never heard of a real estate agent for renting before. I'm fascinated. Do you just pay him up front in cash? How much does this service cost?

 

Because I'm thinking no one is going to pay thousands of dollars for this, but why would the real estate agent when he could be making thousands on a house sale?

 

Anyway, back on topic, I'd always be weary with sales people, their whole lively hood revolves around them being likable, friendly, flattering. I'm not saying you shouldn't take a chance with him, just do be cautious because that falseness can sometimes flow over into their everyday lives.

 

Where I live, landlords advertise their rentals through realty companies, which charge a realtor fee equal to 1st month's rent. Demand greater than supply so they can get away with it.

[Shining One]

Men are wired to be the chasers even the shy ones. This man did not reciprocate your interest and I am afraid you are building hope and will be disappointed. ANY man, even a shy ones, that would be curious about you would have asked in return if you were single. To me the fact he didn't ask in return is keeping the door closed.

As a man who often works with female clients one-on-one, I do not ask this question, even if she asked me first. I don't care how attractive she is, I'm not risking my professional reputation for a pretty face and hot body. Now, if she asks me out, that's a different situation.

Any man you initiate with will be flattered and show initial interest but it will not go any further because it's unatural to them.

I had a multi-year relationship initiated by a woman. There are also several women on this forum who've had relationships develop after initiating. Thus, your claim of "Woman Initiates = Inevitable Failure" is false.

[bluefeather]

I made that statement based on my experience which is 3,5 year online, met 200 men and also my experience as the mother of a young woman who tends to be the chaser, who's also online and has met 100 + men.

 

That's nice. I'm actually a man. You're making a blanket statement that isn't true for everyone.

 

I've never heard of a real estate agent for renting before.

 

Not sure about real estate agents doing this, but I know there are people who do this professionally called Apartment Locators. Some can also search for rental homes if you ask them.

[GunslingerRoland]

Where I live, landlords advertise their rentals through realty companies, which charge a realtor fee equal to 1st month's rent. Demand greater than supply so they can get away with it.

 

I've heard of that, it's different than the renter getting a realtor though. Because there is no guarantee that they find the renter a place willing to pay a months rent.

[winny]

I made that statement based on my experience which is 3,5 year online, met 200 men and also my experience as the mother of a young woman who tends to be the chaser, who's also online and has met 100 + men. I did not pull that out of my hat.

 

I have to kind of agree with Gaeta.

Yes there are exceptions but in general this is true.

Having said that, guys initiating is also not a guarantee.

[Titanll]

Hahaha

 

As long as I'm attracted to him...I'm good. He's really cute and super, super nice. Its kind of refreshing to meet a guys thats not a douche

 

I dont need a guy thats 6'2 and 250lbs of muscle...been there done that and it never ended well

 

Time to change things up!

 

You'll come back to the dark side soon enough!

5'9 no muscle = manlet

6'2 250 pounds of muscle = douche

6'0 230 pounds of muscle and a little fat = just right

 

It's all about the ratios haha!

[winny]

Tres,

 

This is one of the nicest things anyone has said to me here on LS

 

Thanks so much for this

 

Its actually been really tough the past couple months

 

-Bad car accident

-A bunch of failed dates (3 different guys)

-My ex threatening me

-Crazy/loud upstairs neighbor

-Lost my 4.0 GPA this past semester. I kept it for 4 years. Nursing school is so hard

-Family issues

 

I'm totally fine though....just a feeling a little low. But things could always be worse. My mom says I'm a 'tough cookie' lol....I'm trying! I'm sure things will start to look up. We can never lose hope right?

 

Anyway, thanks girl Xoxo

 

Dis!!! Girl!!!

 

The guy has not even asked you out and you have created a whole thread... I am only guessing what all things you must be thinking in your head.

Calm down and take this from someone else who is pretty much in same situation as you -

 

1. Shy, quiet, polite people can be highly dangerous. That is no sign of how a person is in real.

2. Professionally of course he has to be well behaved, he needs your business. No guarantee in personal life he is equally nice.

3. Dont day dream so much.

 

Get real. Take with you what you learnt from past experiences. If you meet him in a date then, dont assume anything. Dont fall for sweet words and polite behavior. Take 3 months to evaluate him and then decide if you want to give your heart to him. Girl, I just am trying to tell you stuff that I myself am trying do.... good luck! What u do, dont take sh*t from nobody.

[Miss Spider]

That is completely untrue. Sometimes it really surprises me how people can make such false statements on this forum.

 

 

Women don't just pull this out of their axx. women say this because they're done it again and again in the past and saw their friends do it to the same end. People tend to not do or recommend others to do whay has repeatedly not worked for them or others they know. Just because it worked that one time with a friend's uncle's friend's cousin's landlord of someone on the internet doesn't mean it's a good idea

 

 

I would LOVE to be in a guys shoes able to judgment-free approach any woman. the only thing I needed to worry about was not being her type or she was taken. It'd make starting a romantic rship so much easier

Edited May 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[bluefeather]

Women don't just pull this out of their axx. women say this because they're done it again and again in the past and saw their friends do it to the same end. People tend to not do or recommend others to do whay has repeatedly not worked for them or others they know. Just because it worked that one time with a friend's uncle's friend's cousin's landlord of someone on the internet doesn't mean it's a good idea

 

 

I would LOVE to be in a guys shoes able to judgment free approach any girl, the only thing I needed to worry about was not being her type or she had a bf . It'd make starting a romantic rship so much easier

 

 

Maybe I really am an exception to this "norm."

Maybe some women look for, and therefore, approach the wrong kind of man every time, developing a stigma due to their filter (notice how I used the word "some" to point out that this is not a generalization). I can keep going, but this is not the right thread for it.

 

I would LOVE to be in a guys shoes able to judgment free approach any girl, the only thing I needed to worry about was not being her type or she had a bf . It'd make starting a romantic rship so much easier

 

I'm sorry it seems like you feel you can't do that :/

 

I disagree with the blanket statement that was made, and that's all I'll say about it. I'll be here for the original post, but won't derail it any further.

[Dis]

Hi Dis, sorry but I'll be the one raining on your parade this morning :-)

 

Men are wired to be the chasers even the shy ones. This man did not reciprocate your interest and I am afraid you are building hope and will be disappointed. ANY man, even a shy ones, that would be curious about you would have asked in return if you were single. To me the fact he didn't ask in return is keeping the door closed.

 

My daughter (29) is a pretty girl with a killing personality with the annoying habit of initiating with men and it always ends with disappointments. I keep telling her to stop being the initiaor and to wait for men to come after her. Any man you initiate with will be flattered and show initial interest but it will not go any further because it's unatural to them.

 

Hey G

 

Ya I thought about this too

 

I've never been the initiator before and I know that men usually go after what they want. But having said that, I know from experience that a lot of guys are timid. I've been out with guys from OLD and they literally told me they'd never ask me out IRL because they were too shy

 

But ya, I dont think its a good sign that he didnt ask me if I was single when I asked him. Or it could be like Shining One said, that he really doesnt want to cross that professional boundary

[Dis]

Dis!!! Girl!!!

 

The guy has not even asked you out and you have created a whole thread... I am only guessing what all things you must be thinking in your head.

Calm down and take this from someone else who is pretty much in same situation as you -

 

1. Shy, quiet, polite people can be highly dangerous. That is no sign of how a person is in real.

2. Professionally of course he has to be well behaved, he needs your business. No guarantee in personal life he is equally nice.

3. Dont day dream so much.

 

Get real. Take with you what you learnt from past experiences. If you meet him in a date then, dont assume anything. Dont fall for sweet words and polite behavior. Take 3 months to evaluate him and then decide if you want to give your heart to him. Girl, I just am trying to tell you stuff that I myself am trying do.... good luck! What u do, dont take sh*t from nobody.

 

Hey girl!

 

You know how my mind runs away with its self lol

 

Honestly though, I'm not falling for anything. I'm well aware he has to be nice because he's my agent so I'm not saying he actually is a nice person

 

Its just kind of nice to be able to talk to a guy without having to use OLD. Guys never strike up a convo with me IRL. They just stare and then look away once I see them. So this is kind of nice even if he's not interested

 

At this point...I dont know if he is...but at the same time....I'm dont really feel weak in the knees around him either. I just think he's cute and seems nice

[winny]

Hey girl!

 

You know how my mind runs away with its self lol

 

Honestly though, I'm not falling for anything. I'm well aware he has to be nice because he's my agent so I'm not saying he actually is a nice person

 

Its just kind of nice to be able to talk to a guy without having to use OLD. Guys never strike up a convo with me IRL. They just stare and then look away once I see them. So this is kind of nice even if he's not interested

 

At this point...I dont know if he is...but at the same time....I'm dont really feel weak in the knees around him either. I just think he's cute and seems nice

 

Okay cool... as long as you have the reality check on... just looking out for you...

[Dis]

Okay cool... as long as you have the reality check on... just looking out for you...

 

You're awesome winny

 

Thanks girl... Xoxo

[GoneGirl32]

Its kind of refreshing to meet a guy thats not a douche.

 

In keeping with your assertion that you're gonna stay grounded in reality, probably a good idea not to make this^ sort of assumption about him yet either.

 

Not to sound negative, but he could very well turn out to be a "douche," you just met the man, and haven't even had one date yet. Just sayin.

 

I never think guys are "douches" until they start behaving like a douche. LOL

 

But heck, you have absolutely NOTHING to lose by asking him for a drink. So I say go for it!

 

You guys might really click! I had a date Saturday night with a guy whom I didn't like all that much initially, but somewhere during halfway through the date, I realized that WOW, I really like this guy! And he felt the same.

 

You just never know until you go out! No matter who does the asking.

 

Good luck!

Edited May 1, 2017 by GoneGirl32

[Gaeta]

I had a multi-year relationship initiated by a woman. There are also several women on this forum who've had relationships develop after initiating. Thus, your claim of "Woman Initiates = Inevitable Failure" is false.

 

I am talking about chasing.

 

A woman can initiate but if the man does not reciprocate, like this realtor guy didn't, than she should not chase any further.

 

There is a way of asking if someone is single without being out of line. He is a realtor agent, he could have asked her and make it look like a routine question.

 

And couples meet all the time through work, or contracts, or through any type of business. She is looking for an apartment, she is not looking to invest millions of dollars and he's not looking to manage her portfolio.

 

The important to remember here is Dis initiated yes, good girl, but he did not reciprocate therefore she should not pursue him.

[GoneGirl32]

I am talking about chasing.

A woman can initiate but if the man does not reciprocate, like this realtor guy didn't, than she should not chase any further.

 

 

How is she "chasing" and how did she initiate? By asking if he was single and he didn't ask her back?

 

Hmmm... I don't consider that initiating. I consider that making conversation.

 

I have had men ask me if I was single, or if I have a boyfriend and I answer, but I don't always ask them back.

 

I may think later, SHOOT I should have asked HIM if he was single, but it's not always something I think at that exact moment.

 

Especially when I am busy, or like this guy was in the middle of showing her a house!

 

Now if she were to ask him for a drink after their business together is over, and he declines for whatever reason, THAT would be initiating IMO.

[Dis]

I am talking about chasing.

 

A woman can initiate but if the man does not reciprocate, like this realtor guy didn't, than she should not chase any further.

 

There is a way of asking if someone is single without being out of line. He is a realtor agent, he could have asked her and make it look like a routine question.

 

And couples meet all the time through work, or contracts, or through any type of business. She is looking for an apartment, she is not looking to invest millions of dollars and he's not looking to manage her portfolio.

 

The important to remember here is Dis initiated yes, good girl, but he did not reciprocate therefore she should not pursue him.

 

Ya he didnt really reciprocate

 

Maybe this is a no go

[GoneGirl32]

Ya he didnt really reciprocate

 

Maybe this is a no go

 

Oh man you sound defeated already because of one poster's opinion (sorry Gaeta )

 

Seriously though, what is the worst that could happen? That he says no, so what?

 

Or he says yes but doesn't act all that into it, again, so what?

 

Will you die? No of course not, you chalk it up and be proud of yourself for taking action and NOT sitting on your rear waiting for the guy to.

 

Then again, what if you're out having that drink (that you initiated) and you guys REALLY click!!

 

At that point, who the heck cares who did the asking?!

 

I say go for it, you have absolutely nothing to lose unless you become so crushed by one rejection that you can't go on.

 

Which you know is NOT gonna happen.

Edited May 1, 2017 by GoneGirl32

[Gaeta]

Oh man you sound defeated already because of one poster's opinion (sorry Gaeta )

 

Seriously though, what is the worst that could happen? That he says no, so what?

 

Or he says yes but doesn't act all that into it, again, so what?

 

Will you die? No of course not, you chalk it up and be proud of yourself for taking action and NOT sitting on your rear waiting for the guy to.

 

 

Dis: GoneGirl is right, what's the worse that could happen eh! Take a risk and what ever happen it will be a story to tell :-)

 

Sometimes I look at things as if it were mathematics but it's not. It's not mathematics or statistics, it's humanity and it's full of unknown viariables :-)

[Dis]

Thanks so much for the encouragement guys

 

GoneGirl, thanks for chiming in. Your advice is much appreciated and very wise

 

I think after almost 2 years of fighting tooth and nail to find someone.... I've finally gotten to a place of acceptance that it'll happen when it happens

 

So I'm really not going to stress over this. If I want to ask him out when the time comes, I will

 

Finding a new house that makes me happy is my goal right now. If he becomes an added bonus then great...if not...I'm fine with that too

[Dis]

Hey guys!

 

Just wanted togive you a guys an update...

 

I almost got the cutest cottage known to man (like a story book cottage in the woods ) but the owner decided not to go through with it for the stupidest reason....so I'm still looking and thus our professional relationship continues

 

When he called me to let me know it fell through he was so nice about it. Even supportive as strange as that sounds. He said, "Not to get all personal but you did everything you could to get the transaction done. You're application, credit, doing two showing was all perfect. I think the owner made a big mistake. I know your dissapointed but we're going to find you a place soon. Lets get you moved in." I dont remember everything he said because I was headed in to take an exam for school but he made me feel so much better....I was really disapointed but he was so sweet about it.

 

I know theres no glaring green flags here but just the overall vibe of him makes me feel good...I dont know why

 

I have no idea how to read a man's interest...esp in this professional type of situtation but he's really attentive and sweet. He's growing on me a bit. I'm getting a good vibe

[Maggie4]

Nice of you to update!

 

I'm not too observant of who's who on here. But I read through what you wrote. I think all sensitive people should be protected from online dating! Oh ... you and your 4 cats and a bunny... OLD is too rough, not for you. Seems to me you have a dreamy vulnerability that's endearing. I hope you find a man who appreciates you.

 

Since I was little, my family has always gotten close to the realtor. And now after my recent real estate transaction, my realtor (lady) and I are friends. Maybe because they need to know you a little to know what suits you. And you in turn put your trust in them.

 

I thought all Taurus men have muscles of one kind or another? Tell him about yourself, little things like what food you like, what you like to do for fun, how something makes you feel. And ask him for advice on the houses, always ask his opinion. He promised to get you moved in (a bit of chest pounding, haha). Let him know you trust him. If not romance, maybe a beautiful friendship?

[Dis]

Hi Guys!

 

So real estate plans have changed a bit and for the better...

 

I'm buying a house now..not renting

 

We went to look at a house yesterday it was so cute and was actually right across from a cemetary

 

It was my birthday and my agent was really nice and wished me a happy birthday many times...super cute Of course he could just be being nice because he's my agent, I know

 

The electricity was off because the house had been vacant for awhile so all we had to use was the flashlight on my agent's phone when we went in the basement. I took a pic anyway because I was taking pics of the whole house

 

I get home and omgggg! I look at that pic and theres two very clear dark figures in the pic. One of a woman and a silhouette of a man (my agent and I were behind the flashlight so it wasnt us) so I let him know about it, showed him the pic (it was clear as day) and told him that I'm going to pass on that house. He said he completely understood. I told my mom about it and she informed me that he probably thinks I'm crazy now...thanks mom! Lol

 

I did feel nervous down there... I think whoever was there didnt want me there. Maybe thats why the house has been vacant for so long

 

We're going to look at another adorable house on Wednesday! Yay!

 

I wish I knew how to read any cues or lack there of. He's so nice and attentive but thats all part of his job... I have no idea

 

Also hope my mom isnt right :/

Edited June 26, 2017 by Disillusionment373

[rushed]

Oh, wow! Yeah, good decision passing up on that house. That would freak me out as well, especially since it's right across the street from a cemetery!

 

Hope things progress with the real estate agent!