blackandwhite90 Posted April 28, 2017 Posted April 28, 2017 (edited) Hi all! I've been browsing on here for years but figured I'd finally give an account a go. After a year of reconciling and a lot (and I mean a ton) of growing on both of our parts, I have just reconciled with my ex. I see a massive change in the both of us for the better... he is much more mature and in a completely different place in his life and I can happily say the same about myself. The first time we met up after all this time apart, we ended up parsing through our past relationship troubles and were intimate. We just spent time together for the second time and just talked. Among many other things, we spoke about how we should move forward. He said that he doesn't think we should be very close as when we do, things get very messy, but we should take things slowly, see each other often but not too often, spend time together during the day, and also when we are sober in order to repair and give the relationship time to catch up to how much we both have grown. Admittedly, we were in a very codependent, unhealthy relationship before and he is afraid of falling back to that really unhealthy dynamic. He said that this time around he wants to do right by the relationship and take things slowly and build in order to make that happen. How often do you think is good to see each other? Any thoughts on this or do any of you have any similar experiences? He is my best friend and I love him so very dearly and want to do everything that I can in order to make it work this time around. In this case, I am hoping that slow and steady truly does win the race Edited April 28, 2017 by blackandwhite90
silver90 Posted April 28, 2017 Posted April 28, 2017 (edited) it sounds like he is a little gun shy -- perhaps too afraid of ruining things with you again. i think all of this is a great sign to show that he wants to move forward but in a way that is healthy for him, you, and the relationship. seems like he truly does care. perhaps he doesn't even think he isn't ready for a huge relationship yet, or at least feels that if he were to get into one now, old habits would die hard. i feel like he wants to make things better for good. best of luck. turnaround stories are the best ps nice year to be born in Edited April 28, 2017 by silver90
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