What is the best thing to do after scheduling a date? ! [UPDATE Can she be the one?!]

April 27, 2017

Hello Everybody and I hope all is well! Okay here is my situation! So about 2 days ago I met this girl on tinder and we had amazing conversation! Eventually i asked for her number and throughout yesterday and today we were texting a lot.

About an hour ago I asked her out on a date and she said sure and this will all take place monday evening by the way. I said that we will sort out further details within the week and she said sure no worries at all and said she had to go to sleep.

Okay so now I have screwed this up many times before by being too clingy and by not saying the right things during the week. I have some questions that I need help with. First and foremost do I message her tomorrow or just wait for her too message me. If she does not message me should I be butt hurt? How long should I wait for a message? How long should I wait to send a message? lol.

I know it is the best to save conversation for the actual date but I do not want to leave her hanging dry all the way to Monday. What do you guys think? Give me the best tips and tricks to not only keep her interested but also prevent her from flaking on me. Lay it on me I want to hear everyones view on this.

April 27, 2017

just wait it out then message her either one day before or on the day to see if she is still keen or that she wont end up flaking just reconfirm that yuse are meeting up haha

unless she iniatiates a conversation then go ahead and talk

April 27, 2017

never be butt hurt.....confirm the day before and if you are worried about making gaffs in communication during the week allow her to intiiate and start conversation otherwise confirm the night before date night...relax......it gets harder...kidding....deb

April 27, 2017

You've already been texting a lot - your words.

It's going to be tricky to scale that back to a normal level - but you should.

One of the easiest ways to scale back texting is having a call - just 10/20 minutes.

Maybe text her today to ask when would be a good time to call over the weekend to sort plans for Monday.

In between times, if she initiates text chat then reply - don't attempt too much in the way of humour unless it's incredibly obvious humour in texts can be hugely misconstrued.

If you seriously get urges to text a lot then make it simple on yourself and change her name in your phone to 'don't text too much'. This will make you think twice before you go sending a text - or too many texts.

No, you should never be butt hurt and not do as you did last time asking if she got kidnapped by ET. You were basically telling that lady off for not replying as soon as you would like.

Also, remember, this 'date' is actually a meet up just to see whether there is any attraction or not so don't pin everything on this meet up.

At this incredibly early stage neither of you has any idea whether you may or may not be attracted to each other.

April 27, 2017

1. Well, your first priority is *setting up the date*, getting specific time and place. That should be done sooner rather than later, today really. Have a few specific ideas in mind. I like GammaUK's idea of suggesting a phone call, but make the phone call today. Otherwise setting up the date via text is fine.

2. I think next time you should be more to the point. When you both agreed on Monday you should have agreed upon a specific place and time right then and there. I may be old-school, but I'm not a fan of asking for a date, and then actually scheduling it a few days later. Too many steps, too laid-back and wishy-washy for me. Instead do the scheduling at once if possible. The formula I typically use is a) get number from girl from site b) ask her when would be a good time that day or the next for me to call her, c) call and then set up date, i.e., get specific time and place down, on the phone call.

3. In general, if your date is 4 days off, you typically will have to do *some* texting between now and the date. Keep it simple. A "how's your day?" or "how's your weeknd so far" followed by a bit of chit-chat is fine. Save the deeper questions for the date, and meanwhile while texting, stay away from the big compliments and the silly PUA stuff! It seems to be where you've been losing the girl in the past, so....

Edited April 27, 2017 by Imajerk17

April 27, 2017

Be sure to text her the day before to confirm the date. And tell her - you are looking forward to seeing her. Good luck.

April 27, 2017

Hello Everybody and I hope all is well! Okay here is my situation! So about 2 days ago I met this girl on tinder and we had amazing conversation! Eventually i asked for her number and throughout yesterday and today we were texting a lot.

About an hour ago I asked her out on a date and she said sure and this will all take place monday evening by the way. I said that we will sort out further details within the week and she said sure no worries at all and said she had to go to sleep.

Okay so now I have screwed this up many times before by being too clingy and by not saying the right things during the week. I have some questions that I need help with. First and foremost do I message her tomorrow or just wait for her too message me. If she does not message me should I be butt hurt? How long should I wait for a message? How long should I wait to send a message? lol.

I know it is the best to save conversation for the actual date but I do not want to leave her hanging dry all the way to Monday. What do you guys think? Give me the best tips and tricks to not only keep her interested but also prevent her from flaking on me. Lay it on me I want to hear everyones view on this.

When you ask a woman for a date, you do it with specificity -- day, place and time always. Don't leave it up in the air.

What you need to do now is firm up the details and soon. Then you confirm the date the night before at the latest. She may flake on you anyway. There's no way to know for sure anyone won't flake. And, if she doesn't respond in a reasonable time, so be it. You make plans for yourself.

not only keep her interested but also prevent her from flaking on me -- You can't do anything to prevent that from happening, but you can do what's customary and reasonable and courteous -- i.e. respecting her time and being specific so that she can schedule properly, etc.

just wait for her too message me. -- You asked her for the date without specificity. There's no reason for her to message you really, you need to nail it down. In the beginning, most women kinda let the man lead and do what he said he would do. Most women don't like to have to chase a man down for details . . .

If you're worried about seeming needy or clingy or over anxious, confirming details and reaching out once for that purpose isn't any of those things. It would be if you messaged her 5 times in a row without a response or one that was quick enough for you.

April 27, 2017

...relax......it gets harder...kidding....deb

Deb, this made me laugh out loud!

April 28, 2017

My experience has been that if there is zero contact from planning the date, especially if there are no concrete plans - time, place - it's not going to happen. I think that you can make an effort to text, "How was your day," or "How's your weekend?" Given you did not have anything solid planned, I would put together some ideas and places convenient to both of you. This is the perfect excuse to text, and of course let her know you're interested. "I hope you had a good day. I was thinking 6 o'clock at WineCellar on 5th and Main. Do you have any ideas?" You don't have to go into lengthy texts, but do make sure she knows your continued interest and you're not going to bail on her.

I hope you've contacted her to firm up the details.

There are no guarantees she won't flake. She has no idea if you're going to flake on her. The fact you take the time to organize a plan and keep some communication open is a good start. Like I said, I've been flaked on more times I care to admit when a plan to meet is more than 5 days out, especially when nothing concrete gets determined. If there is zero contact in between, I make other plans.

April 28, 2017

And don't forget to shave your balls.

April 28, 2017

Text tomorrow with plans and only text additionally if she's a good conversationalist through text. Some people are a little dry with texting, so for those types it's best to just save the conversation for the actual date

April 28, 2017

1. Well, your first priority is *setting up the date*, getting specific time and place. That should be done sooner rather than later, today really. Have a few specific ideas in mind. I like GammaUK's idea of suggesting a phone call, but make the phone call today. Otherwise setting up the date via text is fine.

2. I think next time you should be more to the point. When you both agreed on Monday you should have agreed upon a specific place and time right then and there. I may be old-school, but I'm not a fan of asking for a date, and then actually scheduling it a few days later. Too many steps, too laid-back and wishy-washy for me. Instead do the scheduling at once if possible. The formula I typically use is a) get number from girl from site b) ask her when would be a good time that day or the next for me to call her, c) call and then set up date, i.e., get specific time and place down, on the phone call.

3. In general, if your date is 4 days off, you typically will have to do *some* texting between now and the date. Keep it simple. A "how's your day?" or "how's your weeknd so far" followed by a bit of chit-chat is fine. Save the deeper questions for the date, and meanwhile while texting, stay away from the big compliments and the silly PUA stuff! It seems to be where you've been losing the girl in the past, so....

I sent her a text yesterday morning say hi how are you and she responded later on in the day. I know she is extremely busy with work so i did not bombard her. She responded more frequently later in the night and I eventually made the plans of meeting for dinner at a restaurant. She then apologized for not texting me all day because she was soo busy. Of course I did not mind and she said it sounds good and she is looking forward to our date. We then ended up chatting up a storm last night lol. I am wondering if I should text her today at all or let it be and wait for her to text me now that we made the plans set in stone. What do you think?

April 28, 2017

I sent her a text yesterday morning say hi how are you and she responded later on in the day. I know she is extremely busy with work so i did not bombard her. She responded more frequently later in the night and I eventually made the plans of meeting for dinner at a restaurant. She then apologized for not texting me all day because she was soo busy. Of course I did not mind and she said it sounds good and she is looking forward to our date. We then ended up chatting up a storm last night lol. I am wondering if I should text her today at all or let it be and wait for her to text me now that we made the plans set in stone. What do you think?

I didn't read the part where you firmed up the details of the date . . . if it's a few days away still, you should keep in light contact until then. Something nice in the morning and a good night, perhaps. Lot's of women get kinda anxious if a guy seems to drop off in between dates. If she keeps the chatting going, great, otherwise, take her cue. It doesn't have to be daily. You can let her do some intiating too.

April 28, 2017

1. Well, your first priority is *setting up the date*, getting specific time and place. That should be done sooner rather than later, today really. Have a few specific ideas in mind. I like GammaUK's idea of suggesting a phone call, but make the phone call today. Otherwise setting up the date via text is fine.

2. I think next time you should be more to the point. When you both agreed on Monday you should have agreed upon a specific place and time right then and there. I may be old-school, but I'm not a fan of asking for a date, and then actually scheduling it a few days later. Too many steps, too laid-back and wishy-washy for me. Instead do the scheduling at once if possible. The formula I typically use is a) get number from girl from site b) ask her when would be a good time that day or the next for me to call her, c) call and then set up date, i.e., get specific time and place down, on the phone call.

3. In general, if your date is 4 days off, you typically will have to do *some* texting between now and the date. Keep it simple. A "how's your day?" or "how's your weeknd so far" followed by a bit of chit-chat is fine. Save the deeper questions for the date, and meanwhile while texting, stay away from the big compliments and the silly PUA stuff! It seems to be where you've been losing the girl in the past, so....

This is good advice. Nail down a time and place as quickly as possible. Don't text back and forth for three days trying to "mesh schedules". There's nothing wrong with getting it sorted out early because you're taking time out from your life for a date, no just hers.

I've been out on six dates with a woman over the last few weeks and we've gradually gotten to the point where we talk over the phone for awhile each night. Before the first date, I talked to her three times; one phone call and a couple of texts. I asked her out on a Monday and we went out on a Friday.

April 28, 2017

You've already been texting a lot - your words.
It's going to be tricky to scale that back to a normal level - but you should.
One of the easiest ways to scale back texting is having a call - just 10/20 minutes.

Maybe text her today to ask when would be a good time to call over the weekend to sort plans for Monday.
In between times, if she initiates text chat then reply - don't attempt too much in the way of humour unless it's incredibly obvious humour in texts can be hugely misconstrued.
If you seriously get urges to text a lot then make it simple on yourself and change her name in your phone to 'don't text too much'. This will make you think twice before you go sending a text - or too many texts.

No, you should never be butt hurt and not do as you did last time asking if she got kidnapped by ET. You were basically telling that lady off for not replying as soon as you would like.

Also, remember, this 'date' is actually a meet up just to see whether there is any attraction or not so don't pin everything on this meet up.
At this incredibly early stage neither of you has any idea whether you may or may not be attracted to each other.

I sent her a text yesterday morning say hi how are you and she responded later on in the day. I know she is extremely busy with work so i did not bombard her. She responded more frequently later in the night and I eventually made the plans of meeting for dinner at a restaurant. She then apologized for not texting me all day because she was soo busy. Of course I did not mind and she said it sounds good and she is looking forward to our date. We then ended up chatting up a storm last night lol. I am wondering if I should text her today at all or let it be and wait for her to text me now that we made the plans set in stone. What do you think?

April 28, 2017

Andrew, I'm going to be honest here and risk offending you.

You're acting like a teenage girl. SHe telling you she has to go to bed means you're communicating too much before the date, and its clingy.

Texting, calling is for setting the date only, you can chit chat on the date. What you do in the meantime is hit the gym, get some good clothes together, work out where would be good to take her and read Corey Wayne.

Keep chatting to other girls and set dates with them also. She's probably doing the same also, don't bring up any emotional stuff or commitment in the meantime.

April 28, 2017

How much have you dated? Communicate with her but don't over do it or under do it.

Relax and go on the danged date!

Corey Wayne and lining up other dates is not good advice, in my opinion. Be yourself and concentrate on one date/person at a time. Make no assumptions about what she is doing. If you want to date someone else, go for it. If not, just go out with her and see where it goes.

This isn't rocket surgery...

April 28, 2017

Please don't read Corey Wayne

May 2, 2017

Beginning of last week I submitted a post that revolved around going on a first date with a girl and not being too clingy or annoying. Throughout the week we had good conversations and talked here and there. Monday which was yesterday came along which was the date and that went amazing. Basically I needed help and suggestions on how to not scare her away and try my best to not make her flake. I messaged her the night before of the date and she confirmed as well as Monday morning.

Anyhow I went on the date, we had excellent conversations and everything went smooth. We went over a hefty amount of stuff and it felt really good. Later in the date she mentioned how we should hang out again and i said second date? She said ya let me know I am in, so that made me really excited and it also made me feel really good. Okay here is the dilemma, well it is not really a dilemma because I am sure it is easy to maneuver around but we have not actually scheduled the date and I told her I would let her know.

After the date was over I sent her a text saying thank you for the nigh it was fun and I am excited to see you again and we will plan something within the week. She responded saying I had a great time as well and I am excited to see you again! =) and goodnight Andrew. It felt good I will be honest hahaha. So anyhow I need some guidance on this, I do not want to come off as clingy,desperate,creepy or even annoying when we are away from each other through text. What are some good suggestions on how to text a girl to keep her interested until the second date?

I screwed up this once before with a previous date and I have a thread on that as well. I have learned a lot more and learned to not be desperate or clingy. I am just wondering what everybody else has to say. Also I am planning to pick a place for a second date and I think dinner again would be a garbage second date considering we already did dinner. Any cool suggestions for a second date?

May 2, 2017

Beginning of last week I submitted a post that revolved around going on a first date with a girl and not being too clingy or annoying. Throughout the week we had good conversations and talked here and there. Monday which was yesterday came along which was the date and that went amazing. Basically I needed help and suggestions on how to not scare her away and try my best to not make her flake. I messaged her the night before of the date and she confirmed as well as Monday morning.

Anyhow I went on the date, we had excellent conversations and everything went smooth. We went over a hefty amount of stuff and it felt really good. Later in the date she mentioned how we should hang out again and i said second date? She said ya let me know I am in, so that made me really excited and it also made me feel really good. Okay here is the dilemma, well it is not really a dilemma because I am sure it is easy to maneuver around but we have not actually scheduled the date and I told her I would let her know.

After the date was over I sent her a text saying thank you for the nigh it was fun and I am excited to see you again and we will plan something within the week. She responded saying I had a great time as well and I am excited to see you again! =) and goodnight Andrew. It felt good I will be honest hahaha. So anyhow I need some guidance on this, I do not want to come off as clingy,desperate,creepy or even annoying when we are away from each other through text. What are some good suggestions on how to text a girl to keep her interested until the second date?

I screwed up this once before with a previous date and I have a thread on that as well. I have learned a lot more and learned to not be desperate or clingy. I am just wondering what everybody else has to say. Also I am planning to pick a place for a second date and I think dinner again would be a garbage second date considering we already did dinner. Any cool suggestions for a second date?

If you've decided you want a second date by the end of the first one, you ask her for it and with specifics. Don't leave her hanging as to when it will be planned. Firm up the details soon. If she accepts the second date, you make light contact a couple of times in between at least. Not 10. Reaching out once or twice isn't going to come across as needy or clingy, doing it 10 times in a row without a response or one as quickly as you'd like would.

May 9, 2017

Recently I have been posting about a girl I have been going on dates with. My last post revolved on a successful first date which led to as second date. The second date went well and ended with a kiss. The second date also led to a third date which was yesterday. Before all this we had been texting and messaging through social media pretty consistently. After the third date yesterday we gave each other more kisses than the second date which felt really good.

We have not planned a 4th date but I am planning to message her later on today. So now my question is what should I do from here. She generally does not initiate conversation and I am usually the one texting first. I do not mind but i still do not want to come off as clingy or needy. How do I maintain this balance? I want to make sure we stay in touch but I do not want to be too distant. Also I was wondering what is a good frequency for texting especially after all these dates.

What should I be texting? Should it be flirt and more intimate. I am fairly new to this and need the help of this forum or you guys to guide me in the right direction. Basically the main overall goal is to keep her interested and attracted. Also I wonder what a good frequency for texting is and what a opening conversation should start as now that we kissed a bunch. It is really embarrassing to talk about but I really like her a lot and I feel like she does too but I do not want to ruin it. Tips and suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Edited May 9, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
3 threads merged ~6

May 9, 2017

You, sir! Need to calm down.

May 9, 2017

Recently I have been posting about a girl I have been going on dates with. My last post revolved on a successful first date which led to as second date. The second date went well and ended with a kiss. The second date also led to a third date which was yesterday. Before all this we had been texting and messaging through social media pretty consistently. After the third date yesterday we gave each other more kisses than the second date which felt really good.

We have not planned a 4th date but I am planning to message her later on today. So now my question is what should I do from here. She generally does not initiate conversation and I am usually the one texting first. I do not mind but i still do not want to come off as clingy or needy. How do I maintain this balance? I want to make sure we stay in touch but I do not want to be too distant. Also I was wondering what is a good frequency for texting especially after all these dates.

What should I be texting? Should it be flirt and more intimate. I am fairly new to this and need the help of this forum or you guys to guide me in the right direction. Basically the main overall goal is to keep her interested and attracted. Also I wonder what a good frequency for texting is and what a opening conversation should start as now that we kissed a bunch. It is really embarrassing to talk about but I really like her a lot and I feel like she does too but I do not want to ruin it. Tips and suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Dude, you need to chill. You're starting to unravel and your lack of confidence is going to be a huge beacon to her that there is something "off" in you.

Text her like you would anyone else. Simple as that. Don't force it, don't ignore it. If she is interested in you, you are not going to have to work at keeping it that way. She's a human being, not a dog you have to play fetch with. Just be you.

May 10, 2017

You're worrying too much and overthinking. You state that you have had a lot of communication thus far, so at this point, you're not texting too much, and she seems to be on the same page. Now here's something to consider. You've been going out and seeing each other in person more, and some time has passed, and it's normal for communication to start to slow down and not be as frequent, all day, as the relationship progresses. There's only so much to say. You may wish to scale back or she may to wish not text as often, or it's kind of mutual. This is normal. If either of you gets nervous about the drop in communication, discuss it. If you can't keep up with her high level of daily texting, discuss it. It's fine if you want to shoot her a text just because you're thinking of her. Maybe you can't think of anything to say, but you saw a funny meme or something of interest or you heard something funny. Maybe you just want to rant about a coworker. Don't overdo it, like all day, multiple times, but you seem to have a level of communication/texting that works for you right now. Sometime tomorrow or tonight, tell her you're looking forward to seeing her again, and ask when she thinks she can go out with you. Suggest a night you're free and ask if she's available. "I'm looking forward to seeing you again. Do you work Friday?" She seems into you, so just go with the flow and enjoy the ride.

Edited May 10, 2017 by act00

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